Nyla

Canada

15
She/her

Message to Readers

I'm trying to teach my little sister (she's 8) how to control her emotions by writing and I'm making her write me a haiku by the end of the day- so watch out for that (I'll mention it's hers and please give some positive feedback so she feels encouraged to continue :)) It won't be bad either, I really think she really has a talent for poetry, if she obviously practices as she grows older. For example, I asked what I should write for the last line of this Haiku and she said "I can't feel my toes" which is, at least I think, really amazing for a such a young kid. She probably doesn't realize it but you could analyze that like a million different ways! Anyways there's my little rant and have a great day :)

Oceans

March 13, 2021

FREE WRITING

7
Waves come tumbling
Salty water rushing forth
Drenched in pain, I'm cold

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  • March 13, 2021 - 6:38am (Now Viewing)

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10 Comments
  • Dmoral

    i love the simplistic imagery of this and the emotion being conveyed through the tone


    6 months ago
  • Ellington Stone

    Re: Of course!! And thanks sm!!


    6 months ago
  • •TheVictoriousOne•

    OOOO THIS IS SO PERFECTLY WORDED! Also, I'd be glad to give some feedback to your sister. She seems as though she could become a very good author, like you! :)


    6 months ago
  • ~Aurora~

    25 words but this is so incredibly powerful. Especially the "i'm cold" part - just two words but overwhelmingly emotional. This is awesome


    6 months ago
  • ChimChim_1

    I love how it's so short but has a lot of meaning. Good job!!


    6 months ago
  • resident philocalist

    This is so short yet the power is incredible. I love it. :)


    6 months ago
  • Ellington Stone

    Yeah, that is an amazing line. I really like it!!


    6 months ago