Peer Review by ACDS (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


breaking point

By: ~madeline~


FREE WRITING

i can't touch the broken hope that's hanging in the sky, thunderclouds so heavy I could almost reach them. 

i can't feel the shattered love that's falling from the clouds, frozen pieces of a frozen heart. 

i can't see the crushed love suspended in the air, pricks of light that remind me i'm not alone. 

i can't reach the splintered wonder flowing all around me, so close but yet so terribly far away.

i can't feel it anymore. i can't see it anymore. i can't find it anymore. 

and it leaves me wondering. wondering. wondering. 

at all the broken beauty.

all the shattered love.

when did my heart splinter into all these pieces?

and am i too far gone?

i don't know if my soul can be put back together again. 

it's cloudy. therefore i write depressing poetry. 

Peer Review

I personally liked the desperation of trying to gain back something dear that was lost (which I can relate to).


I'm content with knowing what is told within this poem here. Suggestion/Tip: furthering the "i can't" stanzas might make readers feel/connect more with the poem. or leave it the way it is because it's still good.


Reviewer Comments

My only bit of "criticism" (maybe?) is that you mention love twice. I personally like keeping subjects within one stanza, so I would either merge the two love stanzas together, or cut the second one (only because I like the first one better).