maria.

United Kingdom

She/Her
15
:)

Message to Readers

Hi! I've realised that this piece could potentially concern some people, don't worry I'm completely fine :)
Thank you for taking the time to read my work - as always any feedback would be appreciated!

Approval

March 11, 2021

PROMPT: March Grab Bag

5
A 100 word story based on a randomly generated word

I'm just a child...desperate to please, to be perfect. If I'm perfect enough then maybe I'll get to be a ballerina one day.
I'm just a child...my eyes hurt and I have to keep going, nobody can beat me.
I'm just a child...who hasn't seen the sun in days - I'm studying. I have to be perfect. 
I'm just a child...when was the last time I ate? No. I can't eat  - they won't be pleased then. I won't be a ballerina.

I'm a child that's hurting, they've replaced me - I failed.
Hi! I've slowly realised that this story is actually quite dark but in a way I sort of like it? I guess it could become a  criticism of how young children are under an increasing amount of pressure and the youngest of children especially will often struggle to get help - not because they don't want to ask for help but because they may simply not have the vocabulary to ask for help and as we get older we're less likely to understand their viewpoints. Anyways, that's just a random thought I had - thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it and have an amazing day! :)
To anyone that can relate to this post and feels like that now feel free to reach out, I'm always here to help <3

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  • March 11, 2021 - 3:14pm (Now Viewing)

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2 Comments
  • Emi

    This is really pretty and a different viewpoint for me (I'm an eldest child). I like how you really show emotions here.


    7 months ago
  • Nyla

    Wow! I can really feel the pain through this piece! Don't worry it's not that dark at all (have you read some of my stuff XD) The ending was particularly emotional. "I'm just a child...when was the last time I ate? No. I can't eat - they won't be pleased then. I won't be a ballerina.
    I'm a child that's hurting, they've replaced me - I failed."
    You used anacoluthon in a beautiful, moving way! Great piece!


    7 months ago