poetri

United States

not the gal they think i am at home

ri / 17 / snl freak

Message to Readers

put your crazy classmate stories below! i'm dying to know if this is just a my class thing or if these crazies are scattered everywhere.

3/5/2021

i haiku u (9 months w a flat earther in class)

March 9, 2021

FREE WRITING

30

The earth is a sphere.
This class is, sadly, flat.
You find no contrast.

Her hair flips again,
your lips flap out of context.
Another Wednesday.

To you: Birds are real.
Birds are real. Birds are real. Birds
are real. Birds are real.

"Trump won, idiots!"
But you are the idiot.
How the turn tables.

A Karen, a boy.
Asks for the teacher--frequent.
A Karen. A boy.

I'd be remiss if
I didn't point out the good:
"THE GOOD" TBA

If the world was flat,
would I push you off the side?
No body no crime.

"Harvard brainwashes!"
Someone's spicy. Whatever,
more space for the rest.

If my business
isn't the government's,
then why is it yours?

I listen to Lorde.
My friend listens to Dodie.
You listen to Q.

*your brother passes*
Whoever's brother just passed,
your mom's a Karen.

You didn't say that.
I'll just pretend you didn't.
Wash my ears with soap.

Today's a good day.
It's Women's History Month.
I beg you sit down.

You like The Office
and giving fans a bad rep.
Pam wouldn't approve.

Aunt B and Tay Swift
are honorary gen z's.
You're the opposite.

I play four square with
a ball printed like the earth.
I see it, I laugh.
dssdsgfdssdsg what an odd year

ALSO (because there are a lot of new faces who I don't know and won't know my humor) this is all satire. Mostly fake. Some funny. All not serious. Do I have a crazy flat earther in my class? Yes. Would I push him off the side of the Earth if it was in fact flat? *pauses a certain song from the Evermore album* No. No I would not. Would I write him onto snl? Well...maybe. Yes. But that's a whole new ball game and we don't do "missed opportunities" in this house. Also I have his mom as a teacher and she doesn't seem like a Karen, that was a parody of,,,,,well, you know.

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18 Comments
  • Ellington Stone

    this was awesome XD


    21 days ago
  • dee’s abditory

    the birds work for the bourgeoisie


    21 days ago
  • beth r.

    don't think i didn't catch that vine reference


    2 months ago
  • ✧♬TwinklingLights♬✧

    oh my loooooord


    2 months ago
  • xx carolina xx

    one time one of my classmates heated up a penny on a bunsen burner and let it melt on his tongue - during a lab where we were dissecting frogs.

    yup.


    2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: awwww that's so sweet!! :)


    2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    also your new pfp made me smile!! :D


    2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    oop-

    im cracking up rn ummm this is too good XD


    2 months ago
  • ANSON REYNOLDS

    *cries with each fabulous Taylor Swift reference* I ADORE the title of this!! Every last haiku was just superbbbbb. My favorite was probably another Wednesday, but “someone’s spicy” made me laugh :)
    And yes- I can relate to crazy classmates. A guy in my class went on a rant about how terrible TedTalks are and I was like dude. They’re TedTalks. *shrugs and goes back to the important things in life, aka evermore and Wtw*


    2 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    IDBDKDHDB I SEE A SWIFTIE AND I APPROVE. TAYLOR SWIFT REFERENCES GALORE.I AM HAPPY.
    hahaha i love this.i've missed you


    2 months ago
  • psithurism

    re: Oh my. Well, that's interesting to say the least, lol. Good luck dealing with that, I don't think I'd be able to keep myself calm around people like him. :)


    2 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    TAYLOR REFERENCES
    ok i don't think i have anyone who is actually a flat-earther, but guys love to joke about it. and i've got some wackos, and then i've got some just... eeek. ugghh. eeewww. yuck. that's the reactions i have sometimes XD
    we're learning about WWI and then we were talking about who's at fault and american involvement and all that and something came up where my teacher asked, "Who do we blame for 9/11?" and one kid said, "Siberia!" and he meant Serbia except... wrong century, wrong war, dude.


    2 months ago
  • psithurism

    Wait, you seriously had a flat earther in your class?! Are they like a conspiracy theorist? I'm so confused, people can be so strange. XD


    2 months ago
  • Shay

    Love the Taylor Swift references


    2 months ago
  • Odysseus

    I LOVE your Taylor Swift references- hilarious piece


    2 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    "If the world was flat, / would I push you off the side? / No body no crime." Love that


    2 months ago
  • Avril

    wow this made me laugh! "Harvard brainwashes!" haha.


    2 months ago
  • Ava Marie

    This is really funny, it reminds me a bit of the conversations that happened in my english class last year!


    2 months ago