SnowLeopard06

United States

14
Environmental Activist (down with global warming! Also, stop cutting down trees)
Lesbian (please don't hate, it gets annoying. it really does.)
Writing a book (because honestly, why not?)
They/them or she/her
Snow Leopards
Be yourself!

Message from Writer

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."
"Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope."
"You may write me down in history with your bitter, twisted lines. You may trod me in the very dirt, but still, like dust, I'll rise."
-Maya Angelou

Hello, My Name Is Demon!

March 2, 2021

FREE WRITING

4
“Demon! You shall be gone! DEMON!”
I rolled my eyes. The day was already off to an annoying start. And I hadn’t even had my morning coffee yet.
“One,” I said, ticking it off on my fingers. “The term ‘demon’ is insulting. Two: can you at least wait until I’ve actually caused some chaos and mayhem before punishing me for it?”
“Demon!” the exorcist or priest or demon-hunter or whatever they call them nowadays shouted. He waved a cross around wildly. “You shall submit and your hellish pieces shall go back to the foul hole from whence you came!”
I blew a raspberry. I couldn’t resist. “‘Whence you came?’ ‘Shall?’ Who even uses that anymore?”
“I am a respected exorcist of the Order of Light! You cannot fool me with your darkness and twisted words!”
“What twisted words? It’s the twenty-first century! I’m over two thousand years old and even I’m more with the times!”
He sputtered, and I wondered if he’d choke on his own tongue. Meanwhile, I took the chance to look around the room. First thing I noticed were the lines of white chalk, showing the outline of the circle around me. I shook my head. I could step out of it as easily as running through sand. Hard, but not impossible. It was well lit, if you compared it to the middle ages, with candles sputtering against the walls and leather-bound books lining shelves, likely filling with rituals to destroy evil, dark creatures such as myself. In other words, complete rubbish.
The exorcist composed himself. “You shall die, foul demon!”
I yawned, flipped my hair. “What’d I say about ‘demon’?”
A sprinkle of droplets hit me in the face. They were unpleasantly wet. I raised an eyebrow. “Holy water? That’s really the best you can do? Please. Even kids at seances could do better than that.”
The exorcist went an unpleasant shade of pasty white. “You dare!”
“Yeah, yeah, get on with it already. Say your prayers or whatever, draw your lines, throw your holy water, it won’t do nothing.”
“You think to question the Order of the Light!”
“Order? All I see is one man standing in the middle of a badly lit room.”
A drop of water plinked down from the ceiling.
“And one with leakage, too. Tsk tsk. Standards have dropped. I’m gonna go now, thanks for wasting my time.”
I stepped out of the circle. The exorcist squawked, and threw the cross at me, uttered a few vague words. No holy bands of light, no blast of godly power.
“How? That’s the strongest spell any acolyte can learn! Made to eradicate beings of evil!”
“Well, there’s your problem, kid. I’m not evil. No one is.”

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1 Comment
  • anemoia (#words)

    THAT WAS SO HILARiOUS AND THEN JUST BRILLIANT. i got strong artemis fowl vibes and that is a good thing, trust me.
    felt like i was reading a novel! smooth, flowing, perfect blend of storytelling, world building, and humor


    2 months ago