GertyGerty

Australia

15
She/her
Musician/ writer/ actor.
Unapologetic vegan <3

Message to Readers

This is a bit of a strange piece... To me it is written from the perspective of a vulnerable person being followed by someone dangerous on the street. The narrater (the victim) of the piece draws parallels between their panicked behaviour and the behaviour of the threat e.g: "Are you as conscious of my movements as I am of your's" type vibe and the way that for both the victim and the threat, the rest of the world seems to become distant as all their focus is on this one person. As I said, it's a bit strange and I've never seen a piece of writing like this, but I thought it was an interesting concept.
This is my very first draft so any feedback is appreciated, plus title ideas as I don't know if I'm happy with the current one. Thank you!!

Ballet of the Hunted

March 1, 2021

FREE WRITING

3
Are you watching me
like I’m watching in my peripheral
consciously
recording every footstep, each waver in my way?
You’re rough and out of time
Anxious now
Cruel compulsion drawing you to the one thing
drowning out the world
Drowning out what better sense you had before you hurled
your callous, cold complexion
in my direction
Hungry for a taste of sweet projection
over me

Now there’s one thing,
now there’s us
Then’s a memory
in now we trust

Do you hear me
like I hear your every breath
amplified
a million times in icicles that freeze my spine?
I bet your skin is cool with fascination,
glossy with sweat
Is this threat imagination?
Is it true you are my friend?
We go in circles after all
spinning static in the body, in the head;
A primal kind of adrenaline,
an instinctive kind of dread

Now there’s one thing,
now there’s us
Then’s a memory
in now we trust
You want the one thing
you can’t touch
I wanted nothing
I gave too much

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3 Comments
  • nolongeractive

    Re: Thank you so much!


    about 2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    oh wow this is stunning! this gave me chills, no joke!! ahh you really got that feeling down of just knowing you're being watched and it's so disturbing but also such a good piece of writing...? if that makes sense?? I'm not entirely sure if you meant this as a poem or a song, but i could almost hear a melody as i read it so maybe... both? this is such a wonderful, unique piece!! and i love the veryy subtle and irregular rhymes, they add so much, especially in the first stanza. wow this is really excellent!


    2 months ago
  • Ava Marie

    This is so good!!! The first three lines are my favourite, you nailed the hook!


    2 months ago