chrysanthemums&ink

United States

ɪ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴᴅɪɢᴏ
ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀs ʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴀғᴛᴇʀ sᴜɴsᴇᴛ
ɪᴛ's ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴇᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ ɪɴ ɪᴛ
ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇs

Message from Writer

song quote of the week:
彗星になれたなら - harumaki gohan

most if not all of my pieces have songs linked to them. give them a listen, you might like what you hear.

i hope the next decision you make brings you happiness.

sweet night

March 2, 2021

FREE WRITING

17

these days, i feel a little more
afraid than usual 
sometimes i hold my breath 
with no intention of letting it go
as if i'd be falling free of bonds
i'd be tumbling down the waves 
and into somebody's arms
a little wind blew in from the
ripped sky above
it let in a little chill and regret
questions that have
already been dissolved in our mouths
i want to be the one to hold you
even if it hurts
streaming down gently beside us
eternity is tearing apart softly
like wet petals, it lands by our feet
and populates the grass with
unattainable color
i awoke with your fragrance
wrinkled into my body
i'm scared that 
my embrace is too tight for you
i want to keep believing in 
a tomorrow beside you 
water on my hands and 
grains of sand threaded into my fingers
i'm shifting my feet through the shore
and trying not to knock the castle down
we will burn up someday
in the earth's atmosphere
like little meteorites falling like rain
i want you to be loved
maybe one day you will know
that you are


 
sweet night - v

for jun lei. wrote it very quickly in the night so it probably doesn't live up to your expectations. song was a little hard to interpret but i hope it came out nicely. maybe in time, i'll rewrite it. 

Print

See History
  • March 2, 2021 - 7:50am (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

7 Comments
  • Paisley Blue

    oh man it has been a while and i've nearly forgotten how much i love your work so this was like a wake-up call and boy did it take my words away. i'm gonna try not to quote the whole thing but you know it might be hard.... this is wonderful.
    "these days, i feel a little more / afraid than usual " oh wowwowwow this is such a strong start and it just resonates in my chest and ahhh all of a sudden i feel like it's dusk and there's a train whistle in the distance that just adds to the whole emotion of this... gosh i don't know how to describe it. i guess the best way to describe it would be the feeling of being a little more afraid than usual... which is the line... so...
    "eternity is tearing apart softly / like wet petals, it lands by our feet" this is so much SPRING that it's almost tangible. oh this is brilliant!
    "like little meteorites falling like rain" this, i think, can be read two different ways--the way i read it that gave me little shivers all over would be these are two different comparisons, almost like saying "like little meteorites. like rain" but you might have meant it to be the other way, saying "we're like meteorites that are falling like rain" and either is breathtaking. wow
    this entire poem just feels safe yet new--if that makes sense? it feels like walking down the street going home late at night; you know everything by heart and yet the shadows make your heart beat a little faster...
    i'm sorry, like i said, this took away all of my words. im so so in love with this... jun lei is lucky :))


    about 2 months ago
  • Zirong

    This piece took my breath away. Your verb choices are so stunning.


    about 2 months ago
  • SamRose

    Nice! It flows very well. Good job!


    about 2 months ago
  • BriRiley

    Ooo this is really poetic and beautiful! I love the words you chose! It painted a really light picture in my mind! And it’s just really beautiful!! XD


    about 2 months ago
  • happygiggles

    the imagery in this is magical, your words are just magical!


    about 2 months ago
  • jun lei

    chrys i'm crying i love it so much. your descriptive & figurative language are gorgeous as always, and i just love how you captured the emotions of the song. "these days, i feel a little more afraid than usual"--i adore how this sets the tone while being purposefully vague. "sometimes i hold my breath with no intention of letting it go"--god, this is just so powerful. definitely one of my favorite lines. "wind blew in from the ripped sky"--like what? the figurative language is absolutely everything. ripped sky,,,that's just so stunning. "i want to be the one to hold you, even if it hurts"--i can't put into words how much i loved that line. it just had sweet night vibes tbh. "i want to keep believing in a tomorrow beside you"--stop breaking my heart istg. "i want you to be loved. maybe one day you will know that you are." i'm just. in awe. this is so poignant and powerful. your poetry is just. brilliant. thank you so much, i love you.


    about 2 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    ahhhh so beautiful
    "i want to be the one to hold you
    even if it hurts" so powerful yet simple
    "we will burn up someday" ah so pretty. i love this piece


    about 2 months ago