mindfruit (semi-active)

United States

he/him | taiwanese-vietnamese
15
Catholic
basketballer and pianist
artist (sometimes)
community ambassador alum
Sanderson, McMann, and Messenger

est. July 7th, 2020

Message from Writer

Currently vibing to:
Donda by Kanye

A little busy with school and feeling under the weather currently, will try to pop in when I can!

Be sure to check out:
~Rohan's Defender (awesome writer and awesome person! should seriously consider becoming a motivational speaker)
~Anne Blackwood (my wtw mom, one of the finest poets on this site!)
~FantasyOtter12 (a daily source of laughter and good emotional feels!)

Say hi if we haven't met!
Say hi if we have met!

the ruins of yesterday

February 27, 2021

FREE WRITING

23
drifting off to sleep in the ruins of yesterday
i slumber to escape the nightmare i must face tomorrow
honey-coated fingers laced with sorrow
each taste another step into oblivion
i love the world i'm living in
but i hate the things i'm living with
they're not just my demons, they're everyone's
in a war where we're all fighting are own battles
and there's a part of me that's scared if i no longer care
if I no longer feel
because without emotions i can't run through the same motions
and then i don't feel human anymore
but i keep on waking up, keep taking that next step
keeping close to me my gratitude, my wishes in the night
and though i can't see you all
know i too am fighting through it all
and as long as we fight we'll continue to see another day
and we'll drift off to sleep in the ruins of yesterday
Another brain dump writing for you all. Hope I could give you some encouragement and inspiration. Whatever hard times you're going through, we'll get through it together :)

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  • February 27, 2021 - 10:33pm (Now Viewing)

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29 Comments
  • Nyla

    Wow, this was really powerful and emotional! I love this, "they're not just my demons, they're everyone's" because that was just- amazing!


    6 months ago
  • Royal_cat/5

    re: Hi mindfruit! nice to make your aquatince.


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    LOVE. YOUR. PICTURE!!!!


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Hey, C! I wanted to say hi and that I hope you’re doing well! :)
    Also, I wanted to ask if you’ve seen the episode of the Ellen Show where BTS is on (for the second time... I think it was at least a few years ago, they look a lot younger)? Anyway, I’m not sure, you may have seen it, but if not, it’s definitely worth watching. It is HILARIOUS! Someone jumps out and scares them, and lol their reactions XD XD XD XD If you need a laugh, I just thought I’d share. :)


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    (Lol, ignore the random “okay” at the end of the last comment... XD)
    Also, I forgot to say: yeah, it’s cool that J-Hope seems similar to you in a lot of ways; I think the BTS meme era being so relatable is part of why the fans love them so much too.


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: thank you so much, Connor! I’m so glad you can relate. Your comment means a lot. And I have you to thank for getting me into BTS. Yeah, it took me a while to figure out why the group makes its fans feel like family. And I think that’s why. I needed to write my feelings about the group to figure out exactly how I feel, and I guess that probably how most of their fans feel. But thank you again! :)
    Yeah, I’ll tell her! Thank you. :) And if you ever feel comfortable sharing any of your art, I’d love to see it. What kinda stuff do you like to draw?
    Yeah, so we can wait together to party if they win tonight *holds out party hat* And I guess I need to watch the MAMA performances, I’ve never seen it. But yes, the Magic Shop one is really good. Also there’s a Boy With Luv one somewhere (lol, maybe Japan....? It was some kind of countdown performance). It was really good too, and that is not an easy dance (trust me, I know).
    Okay, now I’m borderline crying listening to Spring Day...that theory does make a lot of sense.... the path in the music video where Jimin finds the shoes on the beach ~insert eyes watering~ Wow. That’s a whole new perspective. Thank you for telling me about that. They have such a powerful way of conveying emotion, and I guess it speaks to the writer in me.
    Talk soon!

    Okay,


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: yeah, I actually have some Funko Pops too! That’s so cool; and you have J-Hope and Jungkook!! :D Thank you for sharing!
    Yes! Maybe you’ll be able to see some more of it. I’m sure I could send a couple pics. I’m sure she’ll be so happy that you want to see them.
    Ah, I figured you might know! But yes, I think they totally deserve it. And I’m really excited to see their performance too (their performance videos are the best; the Tokyo Dome Magic Shop video is amazing). And yes, it’s a really nice song, just so emotional. Also, I didn’t know J-Hope is a basketballer too! XD That’s really cool; I can see why you relate to him, he brings so much energy to the group. Oh, also: did anything happen to inspire Spring day that you know of? I wondered if anything happened to Jimin.... he looks really sad in one of the live videos (he’s usually so happy performing) and at the end Jin hugs him, and it seemed like something was wrong. :( I was just wondering what you knew about that. Anyway, I’ll stop ranting now. XD


    6 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    This is so pretty and simple yet relatable. I just love how emotional your writing it is, and how you pair it with so much simplicity. I cannot wait to see what you do next!


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: yes, me too! :D
    Yes yes yes you get my feelings about them so perfectly!!! :D And idk what it is about Tam.... he’s just sweet in a sulky way, I guess! :)
    Yep, Saturday!!! And yeah, room decorating is fun. I’m excited for it. Ooh, what kinda bobble heads?! I have an Abraham Lincoln one..... lol.
    Thank you about the pfp!! So, Zion is actually not an ARMY. She drew that because I love BTS so much. She’s working on drawings all of them actually, and she’s SO talented. I can’t draw like she can, so I get her to draw things for me! XD Also, I’m so excited for tomorrow because (not sure if you know this; you probably do...) BTS is performing at the Grammy Awards!!!!! I’m honestly so excited to see what they do, and if they win! :D I hope so; they’ve worked so hard, they deserve it. I’m listening to Spring Day right now, and..... it’s just a masterpiece. An extremely emotional, sad, beautiful masterpiece.
    Okay, I’ll stop ranting for the moment. XD Hope you’re having a great day. Talk to you soon!


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: aww, thank you so much! :) Heheh, yeah, that apostrophe confused Zion too.. XD But your comment means a lot to me (and I thought you’d like that BTS reference!!) :D
    Yay, I’m so excited for the summit too! I’ve been kinda dying to see everyone for awhile, so it’ll be awesome to finally get to! :)
    And yes, I agree about KotLC.... and Dex!! See is amazing too!
    (POSSIBLE KEEPER OF THE LOST CITIES SPOILERS)
    See, Fitz was just so understanding in the first part of the series... so I was kinda mad in the last couple. And all that Alvar stuff....... wow. But anyway, Dex is amazing, but I don’t think Sophie is sensitive enough for him, you know? I really feel for Keefe because he cares so much about her. And Tam.... I just feel a sort of deeper connection to him (I think partially because he reminds me of a character in a book I’m writing). And he’s so sweet but sulky until you get to know him. The characters in that series are so complex, and I think that’s my favorite thing about Keeper. Okay, I’ll stop ranting now! XD XD
    Glad you’re well! I’m very happy that tomorrow is Friday, of course. And we are almost done doing work on my bedroom, so soon I’ll get to hang up some posters and stuff, hopefully this next week! So I’m doing great, thanks! :) How’s school going?


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: thank you so much!!! Your comment literally made my night, and it means so much that you can relate to the piece and the emotions I put into it. Your insight really means so so much to me, so thank you. I definitely agree that the feelings are normal, and I’m so thankful that I have writing as a way to express myself. But I really appreciate the feedback; it’s super encouraging! :) and it made perfect sense.
    YAYY! I’m so excited for the summit!! Is it true that you’re speaking on there as a CA alum? And ha, thank you, I read a lot to finish it! XD It was really good!!! So my top three favorite characters are Keefe, Tam, and Fitz (I’ve been a bit... mad with Fitz, though I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone who hasn’t read the series yet. Who is your favorite Keeper character? And I’m also hoping to read the Stormlight Archives next, so that’ll be cool! :D Also, thank you about the pfp! Yeah, when I listened to Euphoria it became an instant favorite for me, so I photoshopped that pic, lol. Anyway, hope you’re doing well! Talk to you soon, Mindfruit the Bard! XD


    6 months ago
  • books4life

    whoa i am blown away by this. the rhyme scheme is *chef kiss* and the subject matter is beautifully portrayed stunningly!


    6 months ago
  • (sk)eyesofocher

    re: YAS I HEARD!
    also.... okay in my defense you should not have an introverted toddler near a daycare, okay? IT GETS DANGEROUS


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Hi! Wanted to tell you I’m going to the peer review summit and super excited!! :D :D


    6 months ago
  • ~madeline~

    wow this is just... i love it!! also can i say i LOVE your pfp. Bridge 4 all the way!


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Also I wanted to let you that I finished KOTLC book 8.5!!!! WOW! The whole series (so far) was a huge roller coaster! Just... wowwwww


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Here’s your dose of daily encouragement from RD:

    We made it to another weekend! *confetti* Smile, Mindfruit the Bard, because it’s Friday!! :D


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: hey! Ah, okay that makes total sense! Thanks for taking the time to say hi despite the busy schedule! :) I’m glad to hear you’re just busy though, I was starting to get a little worried. But good luck on that paper! And aw, thanks! Looking forward to chatting more soon!


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Hey, C! Just saying hi and I hope you’re doing well!


    7 months ago
  • ✧♬TwinklingLights♬✧

    this means a lot to me, you touched my heart
    thank you


    7 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    Re: Your comment was so sweet! I did not know applying for middle and high school was a thing. I did not realize my silly poem would receive so much love and support. It means the world


    7 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    wow,this is so sweet.
    this poem is so very impactful,you put the beginning so beautifully yet painfully relatable. having reassurance from the perspective of someone who seems like they need/want reassurance to- thats extrememly powerful.i love how you don't portray it as something so easily done or achieved but more of something tough,that we struggle with but we know that its worth it.
    beautiful work connor. i hope you know that you're not alone too. i hope you know that you're strong,even if you don't think so and that you'll be okay.i hope you're happy<3:)


    7 months ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    Ok so I think Rohan said enough for the both of us. I totally agree with her... <3


    7 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Wow according to my comment idk anything XD /self-deprecating/lh


    7 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    This means something. That's a weird thing to comment, but idk I just like this and idk what to say. It's just meaningful in a way idk how to describe.


    7 months ago
  • Ren(hiatus)

    Gah I mean I really suffer from apathy and just plain emptiness so yeah tbh this is kinda really comforting for me haha thank you for writing this.
    Re: thank you! my biases would be j-hope and V! (we have the same bias huh?) Fav songs are probs lost, hold me tight and love is not over. Gah though I almost love all of their songs ngl (except for DNA, Dynamite and Idol, way too upbeat for me hahaha). Though yeah it's nice to see so many BTS fans here haha. Btw how are you doing today?


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Also, I think I’m gonna quote this in my bio, if you don’t mind.


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    How did that get so long.........?


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Oh, mindfruit, this is beautiful. The tone starts off so solemn, and it builds to almost desperate, then turns to hopeful at the end. The imagery is truly fantastic, and the wording is so vivid... wow. This piece hit me really hard. Since it’s about the hard times everyone is going through and the way you wrote it makes it feel almost like a rallying call, if that makes any sense. Then /keeping close to me my gratitude/ the wishes in the night/ is purely gorgeous and really encouraging. Gratitude is something that always helps us through hard times, because there are so many blessings we have. And you address the reader directly as a person willing and ready to fight alongside them, and that part just really made me feel. Then that last line /and we’ll drift off to sleep in the ruins of/yesterday/ it makes an image of literal ruins come to my mind, like castle ruins somewhere, and it just ends this piece in an extraordinary way. Wow. The intentional lowercase too adds character and makes the piece feel really important. And a small detail I want to comment on: for some reason I really like that the last line begins with “and”. The division of the line /as long as we fight we’ll continue to see/another day/ And then another line starting with “and”.... its just a little detail I really appreciate, for whatever reason. It makes it feel extra poetic. This whole piece makes me feel like the opposite of nostalgia...? Like, future nostalgia? Is that even a thing? Okay, maybe it’s more like..... idk, it just feels like the future to me, and that’s not really a good way to describe it, but maybe you know a bit what I mean. Anyway, this whole piece (and the sweet Footnotes too) really made me emotional and got me feeling poetic. So I’m gonna go write something now, and I just want you to know that this is phenomenal. Definitely one of my favorite piece you’ve ever written on here, maybe my all time favorite. A-m-a-z-i-n-g work!


    7 months ago