United States

~average teen writer/poet~
lover of historical fiction books (especially WWII)
dog lover
musical lover

joined september 19, 2020

Message from Writer

say hi to my amazing wtw friends: mirkat, Paisley Blue, lochnessie, and SunV
and my irl friend: JMkittycat

"never dim the light that shines from within." - maya angelou
"poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." - robert frost
"all you have to do is write one true sentence. write the truest sentence that you know." - ernest hemingway

when you walked away

March 2, 2021


i don't know when the first tear fell but i know it formed while my head was in the clouds ; 
lost in some misty dream that you'd always be by my side ; before the droplets condensed and wiped 
remnants of the sunbeam smile away from my face ; disappearing into the abyss of sadness /
i never knew how much i leaned on you until you walked away ;
probably a good thing for me to learn independence but loneliness takes over 
which is to say there is no difference between the two / 
i guess i have learned that when all else seems lost there will only ever be a few things by my side 
they are my shadow            and my tears        and my hurt feelings
 / i've never really questioned my shadow but now i wonder
    what part of me makes me worth following ?
yet now i realize it is only to remind me of the mistake that i am /
    only succeed in casting a spell of darkness
        for somehow i have blocked the light ; a mockery trailing me 
because it is a me-shaped shadow with a me-mentality that taunts the steps i take so every step feels wrong
 / my tears always blossom from my heart but 
they have never made me feel pretty ; for they only fall when i feel ugly inside
        so they only mark signs of ugliness and uselessness and incompetence
            tears grow from my heart so my heart must be hideously unloveable
    and they need to display that to the rest of the world
and i have no control over how the world sees me ; still my tears sear scars across my face / permanent
 / i have never been good with hurt feelings 
just have them run their course until they are leave ; leaving me breathless /
    gasping for air but even that has left my grip so maybe
        maybe i am worthless after all.
first off, i'm fine. like actually fine; just had to get this out.
it's been sitting here for a few days now so i've gotten over it; i just reallyyy wanted to write about it. i dont really know why.
also tell me your thoughts? i'd super appreciate them 'cause i still cant tell what this is (oh and also not edited lol so if there's any major mistakes, my bad)
sending all my love to all of y'all out there <3 and how are you doing?


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  • happy butterfly

    replying:aww thank you,i'm so happy you like it<3

    2 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    the formatting of this piece really makes it beautiful. there's something so gentle and bittersweet about it, but i can't place it exactly. this is gorgeous. and i'm glad you're doing better.

    re: thank you for the assurance on my writing, i really appreciate it. goodness, i'm reading through your comment again and now i'm almost crying... it all means so much to me. thank you.

    2 months ago
  • mirkat

    so emotional and intense and i feel the feelings
    "probably a good thing for me to learn independence but loneliness takes over
    which is to say there is no difference between the two / "
    ahhhhh fav line wow. profound saying, shell, profound i say! i m good at school in the mornings this week which i dont like the afternoon schedule is so much better. thanks for your 2 wonderful comments! ;) ha i might rewrite it actually but for right now im swamped with hw and stuff. have a wonderful day shell! say hi to cola!

    2 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    iuwhaejfkdnckwaksdxm This is amazing!!! "lost in some misty dream that you'd always be by my side ; before the droplets condensed and wiped / remnants of the sunbeam smile away from my face" Those lines are incredible, they're what drew me into reading this piece. And "i've never really questioned my shadow but now i wonder / what part of me makes me worth following ?" um. that is genius. I love the whole misty aesthetic of this whole piece. If that makes sense. Which it probably doesn't lol. This poem is so good, as is to be expected when I read something by you. I'm glad you're feeling better now!

    2 months ago
  • Ava Marie

    I really love this, it's super poetic, and the title is literally perfect. Also, I read your bio and saw that you like WW2 historical fiction novels and I got excited because they are my favourite! Have you read "The Book Thief", "Salt to the Sea", or "The Book of Lost Names"? If not, I would definitely recommend, they are so good!!!

    2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: yeah i haven't been xc skiing since like 3rd grade--i didn't even know how to put the skis on!! it was fun tho lol. and don't worry, i've been drinking a ton of water since then haha! we had a bit of a warm spell--upper 30s, which felt like PARADISE--but last night and this morning it snowed a lot - big, fat pretty flakes. so fun!
    and YES i am totally fine with you putting me on your message board!! actually, that's a funny coincidence, because when i responded to your first comment below, i was tempted to ask to put you on mine!! i'm so glad we can be friends more on here :))
    have a wonderful week as well!! :D

    2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: yayyy makes me so happy to hear from you as well!! wonderful, thanks shelli :)) and you can call me ell if you want!! im a touch more comfy with that then with ella, but really either is fine.
    glad you're doing well!! my week was good--today i went cross-country skiing but i hadn't drank any water so i got super dehydrated.... which was not as much fun, but i still enjoyed it!! and we're going full in-person on march 29th, which im excited for !!!
    sending love right back :)) <3

    2 months ago
  • ✧♬TwinklingLights♬✧

    im glad you got your feelings out <3
    love this, its outstanding

    2 months ago
  • Kasilee

    This is so beautifully written, amazing job!!! I feel this on so many levels! Wish I didn't though. I love your writing!

    2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhh this is brilliant...?!?! wow. i really don't have the words to write a comment fit for this piece but since no one else has either i guess i'll try :)
    "lost in some misty dream that you'd always be by my side" this line is filled with so much longing and hope and sadness wow!!! it gives a perfect feel to the poem, right away. and of course the first line is perfect here too-- wow!!! i'm in awe!!!
    "i've never really questioned my shadow but now i wonder / what part of me makes me worth following" ajdfshlafiayhglaisf this is going to make me cry! i had to read this twice before the meaning sunk into me and then i just sat on my bed staring blankly into the computer screen as my entire mind shattered. no exaggerations, that's what happened. the way you write this... it's so simple, and yet the narrator is questioning why their own shadow cares to follow them? that is utterly heartbreaking.
    and the ending oh wow oh rwong--can i call you shelli? or shell? -- oh it was beautifully despondent and so full of a quiet, pounding sadness.
    this took my breath away, wow!! <3 always love your work--i nearly forgot just how much!! but no, this is insanely brilliant. all my love! hope you're well!

    2 months ago