i'll never tell you, i miss you; 'cause,
i can't give in. still, wondering becomes begging;
tell me, do you ever think of me? or the pretending,
i struggled to wear, so you'd accept me pretentiously.
whispering winds beckon your call; a body that aches,
for a pleasantry, it's never known at all. cradled beneath
new beginnings: bloodied histories & star fallen tragedies.
she held your hand; he touched your soul; they knew hearts,
before you had ever known yours at all. split end eternities,
choose the wrong silver lining means instant regretting.
a heartbreaking story? waking up,you're not there.
bitten lips, scarred memories; fears aren't ghosts, they're hauntings,
echoes in cadavered souls. so life fell upon, uneven shoulders; where
hearts are caged inside, these things we call bodies; spirits cry when
held far too long. they told me, we're embracing built-in destinies; i cried,
asked if painting my name as fate would be an okay thing. results are,
astounding: mockery isn't fickle, it's a cruel cursing.
so hidden between clocks, folded between bits of time; sits a girl
desiring more, instead gifted forged contracts, the world forced signing,
& left her chewing on leftover happy endings.
now, imagine her uprising.
oh boy, here it goes. i've been on this site for roughly 3 years (wow, that sounds crazy to me). and there was definitely a lot of growing and changing that happened here, but most importantly, out there *points to the world*. and honestly? i've been personally struggling with this...this thing i'm going to terms with. if you been here for my writing journey, or at least seen parts of it, you've might expect this. honestly, i kind of did. but nevertheless, it doesn't make anything less hard. that's why i'm writing this out, it helps me vocalize. and my partner/s.o, he's been so supportive and i've leaned on him so much, yet, it's time i step out of my shell. first order of business? here, because this is partly where i started my writing journey and because the people, the amazing writers i've met here, they've helped me in ways they'll never know. so here it is: i'm bi.
woah, it's going to take me a while to get used to saying/writing that but honestly? it's almost...freeing.
i've read a lot of coming out pieces but, it hits different when it's your own. so here it is, a vulnerable piece of my soul laid out for part of the world.