gabimarie

United States

~ 16 ~
she/her/hers
occasional nerd
future songwriter

Message to Readers

sometimes I write things that don't even make sense to myself, so enjoy this piece of nonsense as much as you can! any feedback is very appreciated :)

green hair & face tattoos (my dad's worst nightmare)

February 25, 2021

FREE WRITING

4
    It's a funny thing, being the oldest. Double standards and revelations. Seeing your little brother get a phone at 8 years old when you got yours at 13. Taking calculus and hearing your little sister complain about multi-step equations. Getting your 8th piercing and seeing your grandmother pretend to like it. Watching the news and seeing college students complain about their student loans and realizing that will be you in less than two years.
    It's a funny thing, being the rebellious one. Liberal beliefs and a lack of fear. Going to MOD SUN concerts and going home with my ears still ringing. Consistently asking your parents to get a nose piercing and having my mom on my side but not my dad. Never leaving my room without a pair of headphones or earbuds and blasting loud music. Spending hours looking for the tattoos I'll get the minute I turn 18. Watching the people with piercings and edgy clothes and an electric guitar and realizing that's who I want to be.
    It's a funny thing, being the musically orientated one. An empty bank account and a crowded mind. Staring at the chords in my notebook and internally screaming with frustration. Tuning my guitar and being told I'm too loud by my brother. Going through my piano scales and just going through the motions to warm up. Sitting with my MIDI and my laptop and realizing that doing what I love means leaving behind what I'm comfortable with.
    It's a funny thing, being suffocated by your hometown. The same friends and prejudices. Going to the store and knowing everyone there by name. Having to go to the tattoo parlor an hour away for piercings because there's not one in your closeted little village. Trying to talk politics and gender theory to people who are as conservative as they can be. Yelling with hatred for the people who are nothing like me and realizing that I will leave behind what I'm comfortable with if that means I can become who I'm meant to be.

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  • February 25, 2021 - 1:07pm (Now Viewing)

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3 Comments
  • Ellington Stone

    Re: For sure!


    3 months ago
  • Ellington Stone

    This was really good. I've never lived in a small town, but I feel like understand it now.


    3 months ago
  • sci-Fi

    i love this. i relate so much to wanting to be one thing and not being able to. the last paragraph in particular i love


    3 months ago