Peer Review by Yellow Sweater (United States)

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À l’avenir

By: barelybear


PROMPT: Dream Big

Maybe it was just me, but when I was younger, I watched Horrible Histories with a disturbing devotion that many reserve only for their deities, or perhaps a lover. Every episode had me completely enthralled, from dancing skeletons, to slapstick skits, to all their utterly hilarious tv show and song parodies (if you don’t, know try finding their spin on the Beegee’s classic, Aztec’s ain’t stayin’ alive. You’re welcome :D).

Anyway, life moved on, and for my GCSEs, I took French, drama, history and music. They’re a pretty eclectic combination, and I’m still not completely sure why I chose the artistic route when I could have slogged my way through to a great mark in business or computer science. Oh, maybe for fun? 

It was during the lockdown, when I was busy doing that anxious academic thing of planning out my university interview in French instead of having normal shower thoughts, when I said it. 
J’espère d’inspirer quelqu’un. 
It sounds really pretty in French, but it’s just “I hope to inspire somebody.” 

And that’s what has stuck with me. Like how when I was a little bear cub, I grew to love history because of a TV show, I want to make something that will create that feeling for someone else. Pass it on, if you will. But what do I even need to study to become a Horrible Histories writer, or actress? 

Something else I have realised over time: everyone is different. We have all been shaped, moulded and generally just born to grow in an infinite amount of directions. So maybe my skill set and interests don’t fit for me to become a doctor, or a translator, or a museum curator. I can only know what I like, and use that to carve my own way in the world. 

Perhaps my love of writing and history will allow me to write some historical novels. Perhaps I will combine my interests in comedy and languages and become a multilingual comedian. Perhaps, after all my doubts, I will follow the paths of music and drama straight to Broadway or as a novelty party act (though if any of you have listened to my song writing recording, you might understand why that is unlikely). The point is, my aha moment was that the world is a wide, wide place. My thoughts and ideas have only partly shaded my future, which, in reality, is a much bigger picture. I just have to have faith that, with an open mind as my canvas and a splatter of dedication, it will reveal itself when I am ready. But for now...

I can do anything. 

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk lmao 
this was a little spontaneous, but it felt food to get it down. 

Message to Readers

How was the flow?
And which bits do you think could do with more imagery.
And if you really really want to write a review, is it a bit cheeky to ask if you review my previous story, wouldn’t harm a fly (that’s directed at anyone who’s about to review this out of boredom, btw folks I don’t wanna be a pushy person ahah).

Thank you for reading :)


Peer Review

I love the tone of this piece! Your voice shines! It's light-hearted and conversational, yet also sophisticated and detailed. Brilliant job!


You were asking about flow, so there were a couple spots where I felt like your sentences were a bit overly complex, especially towards the end. But for the most part it flowed wonderfully! I was completely enthralled!


Reviewer Comments

First off, I read your message after completely a review of this piece. But I will definitely do a review of your previous story next!