barelybear

United Kingdom

she/her, INFJ-A
musicals
fantasy/dystopian fiction
piano
life goal = becoming fluent in le français
☕️
est August 2020
community ambassador alum :D
They tell me I’m 16 but I’m sceptical
the squirrel is back!!

Message to Readers

Hey! Thanks for coming here!
- you may notice these [ ] throughout. That’s where I’m not sure about the phrasing. I would love opinions or feedback. Even a comment about just one would be incredibly helpful
- is it really long and boring?
- is the backstory revealing enough? What else do you want to know?
- are there any moments where it just doesn’t flow, or I’ve used way too many of one kind of sentence structure?

Thank you so so much! You are all way too nice to me, so this is explicit permission to tear this down :D
This building needs construction... (ok that was bad but I’m going to just publish this now)

Fly

March 3, 2021

FREE WRITING

12
At 9:00pm, I checked the letterbox. It was empty. Of course, most people would text or phone and I doubted any of my friends would be bothered to recall my address. But I could always hold out for some pen pal or relative to reintroduce themselves from the shroud of neglect. The spring sun seemed reluctant to sink, yawning gulps of light trickling through the sky like droplets down a window pane. The screams of children playing were distorted by distance, carried by a sharp wind that scratched at my ears. 

I shut the door and padded upstairs. 

That was when I first saw it. A fly. The shower floor was still wet, like a forest floor layered with dripping leaves. And on the edge, there he was, laying half in, half out of an evaporating skin of water. As much as he could — shrivelled, tiny and weighed down, dripping with his own foolishness — he buzzed and flailed his wispy legs. I stared at him: this fly. There was no bond between me and this entity, no tangible cord tugging our two idle lives together; my mind even mapped out exactly how simple it would be to pull a lever and watch the air around the fly crumble into hot water, to numb my mind as a flood tugged him down the drain. 

My hand itched. Just one movement and a fly — the fly — would buzz and bother me no longer. Hadn’t I done this before? Easily. I sighed and cursed my [doughy heart], then bent down to scoop and place him on the edge of the sink. [I watched him wheel out the window the first moment he could.] I brushed my teeth, washed my hands and, after some deliberation, refrained from closing the window. A soft breeze would be nice. Comfortable. 

I joined the work call in the morning, shutting out everything but the pulsing logic of structures and materials, drowning thoughts in the thrum and sputter of the fan in the corner.

They don’t offer sympathetic words or smiles anymore. The messages and check- ups faded away almost as soon as she did, curling breaths in the wind. Our cycle is a strange one. Unspoken rules, adherences, that, once met, like twisted, morose quotas, can be simply filed into memory and dust. A few people talked of their own experiences. Welcome to the club. Others tried forced pouts, insisting they couldn’t think of the words, then retreating behind whispers and smiles. Jane down the road was close with Mum. They used to go running together, or would drink tea at dainty cafés. She left a bouquet of geraniums, Mum’s favourite, draped across the steps with a small note attached.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” [The words caught in my throat like knots of stodgy pasta.]

Three days passed by. Three granola mornings, three showers, three trips to the letterbox. I was trudging upstairs when my mind was yanked from finances, fancies and the flickering urge to text some childhood ghost by a shaky buzzing. 

I tracked the noise to the bathroom, eyes drifting across the plaster that hung like orange peel to the walls. Not on my clumsy decoration, but down, on the sink, squatted the fly. I offered a watery laugh, and went about my preparations for bed. Him and me. He didn’t even flinch when the sink began spouting gurgles of water five times his size, or at the stark noise of toothbrush against teeth. 

Something compelled hand to hover over light switch and gaze to soften over fly. He slumped, a shell of the soft sigh of life, but his cries were fiery. Without taking the time to reconsider, I snatched a cutting from the plant on the windowsill. The bloom of geraniums squatted in prime position between the tap and the window, but managed to sag with impressive determination regardless. The red petals bled and hinged from the buds and clotted crumbling soil, shrunken and faded in their gritted melodrama. They wouldn’t miss an extra leaf, and the fly seemed pretty grateful, eyeing up his haul. 

He hummed behind my thoughts that night — last night. Each word of conversation I ran over fizzed and each document I thought of filled itself with tiny sluggish insects in the place of neat black print. I soon allowed the curious tendrils of my mind to wrap me in sleep and gentle murmurs. 

[In the morning, my grin stumbled as I entered the bathroom]; for there was my fly, lying legs up on the side. My fly. 

[Bitter gelidity lapped and seeped] through my clothes, my limbs, my chest. Shards like a swarm of restless beating wings pierced my heart. Each dripping red petal was sharp in my hands as I placed them around him: mangled fragments forced together to create a new, fractured creature. A broken burst of a poppy. I swept up my jumbled pieces, felt blood rush, chilled, to my head, and washed the fly down the sink. 

[Gone, but stained across my consciousness. Dead and numb, but pushing my limbs to move, dragging barbed tears in streaks down my face. A fly — just a fly — but leaving a cavern set to collapse inside of me. I didn’t cry when Mum died; I should move on, check the letter box, drink a coffee. But I look instead at the shrunken red geraniums that mourn over his death spot, the skin of water fading from the sink, the spring sun clawing its way up through the sky. I open the window, breathe the sweet gulps of morning breeze as they dry out the sink and turn to the sun, watch the rays rinse away the shadows spilled by my fly.] 
Thank you once again for every single comment and the review that was so helpful. I’m hoping this is nearly there (I’ve only got a couple of weeks left, so fingers crossed anyways.) 

We’re doing poetry at the moment in school. Some of them are kinda weird, but wow there are so many talented poets. I’m more of a prose gal myself, I think. Probably should give more poetry a go. 

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62 Comments
  • Nyla

    This was soooooo descriptive (with really unique descriptions and metaphors/similes too!!) I loved it!!! " dripping with his own foolishness" made me laugh out loud!!! But the ending was so sad! It was really intelligent in the way you led up to it, there was a hint of something off with how this girl didn't want to take a simple fly's life especially since she had so many times before and then learning about the mum- wow it made so much sense!! This was so awesome!!
    RE: Awww, thank you so much! :)
    And haha aww- you are too!! Haha, what's wrong with sweet potatoes? And omg of course!!! Roast potatoes are the most delicious things ever!! Are we calling them roasties now? That's so cool! Omg wait- am I part of the potato gang now knowing all this slang?


    6 months ago
  • useless :)

    lol my mind when i'm tired is weird-
    i meant "the four in may", not april. also, by the time you "read" this, not "right" XD


    6 months ago
  • useless :)

    re: ahah yeah, although i'm not sure i'm shy...i can start up a conversation and stuff, but i can be reserved. i've always been an ambivert, and kind of leaned towards extroversion before, but i started leaning towards introversion during quarantine. i guess i started needing more time alone. i think i could come off as shy because of the self-consciousness, maybe. srry lol, that was me thinking out loud.

    oh, spread out. heh...i'm pretty sure the four in april are in the same week so uhm, maybe not so much, but at least they'll be done after XD
    samee. oh, that's good! i think that's a better way to do it, especially since some people just aren't good test takers, even if they know most of the content. also a lot less stress. by the time you right this it'll probably be morning or smth so have a good morning! :D


    6 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Ok Ellie hehe :P Oh you're good now! *phew* Interesting lol


    6 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Oh goodness you've liked 666 pieces 0_0


    6 months ago
  • Draco Malfoy

    re: that's good! I am doing well, I have had a cold for the past week which hasn't been fun. I am actually working on a longer story to post, I am going to try and post the first chapter of it tomorrow. thank you for the like and for everything else.
    and plz stay happy :)


    6 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Ayo K G :) (I think I'm gonna call you that now if you don't mind? do you have another nickname?) Hru? I'm makin' dinner lol


    6 months ago
  • Draco Malfoy

    Hey how’s life?


    6 months ago
  • Sophiascb

    Hi! Just wanted to let you know that I added another part to my series, 'Welcome to New York' if you wanted to check it out. And I also wanted to thank you for literally inspiring the whole plot of this story, and now I love it so much! I owe it to you! ;)


    6 months ago
  • useless :)

    re: oh, cool. for me, only the writing final is in April (we call them FSAs) and then my reading and science ones are in May, along with geometry and algebra 2 finals (that we call EOCs). overall not too many, it's not the test-taking so much as the preparing that's bad, bc teachers like to make you do a ton during that period haha.
    thank you! not sure about that lol, but it's really kind :D
    yeah, i got both more introverted and self-conscious during quarantine, which i think isn't only based on how others view me but how i view myself, and that definitely needs improving on lol.
    aw thanks! oh i'm glad he's okay. my dog has never run away, but he's been like that before...he had a stomach bug yesterday and so he was acting a bit on edge the whole day too, even before the barking :(
    ooh sounds fun...that's great!! i'm also the type of person who can kinda change character and leave behind the introvert-ness when i need to XD. i've never done acting, but i've done business competitions where they give you scenarios and after ten minutes of prep, you have to act like you're the role they give you, and solve a problem or whatnot by having a conversation with the judge, normally your boss or smth, so uh, kinda close? not really lol, since it's not scripted. it's almost like impromptu...but i really love those :D


    6 months ago
  • useless :)

    re: oh, i think your break schedule is the same as mine in new york was...do you (under normal circumstances) start summer break in july/late june? we're starting break in late june this year because of how covid delayed our school year, but normally we start in late may/early june.
    yeah, writing schedules can be a bit random, since inspiration comes fleetingly sometimes...at least for me haha
    that's great! about half of my friends are doing online, so i'm not alone lol, but it'd be nice to see them. although i'm a bit worried about how i'd be in actual school...my mom and i were at the mall the other day, and when we passed by a group of teenagers my age, i instinctively turned my head down and looked away XD. hopefully it's just because i haven't really socialized with anyone except my friends recently.
    oh...it makes sense, i'll have to try that too haha. i end up talking about myself way too much in these comments, so there isn't much else to say. i'm doing good...and a little bit tired. a mosquito decided to not let me fall asleep last night, and then my dog started barking at like 1 am (he never normally does that lol), so i had to sit with him for a while, and then i just wasn't tired for another hour, so i ended up going to bed at around 2:30
    that came out pretty hectic sounding haha. thankfully i got to sleep in, so i didn't really lose any sleep
    that's all on me lol. hope you're having a great day! :D


    6 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: heyyyyy lil sis!!! ahh thank you so much I am glad if you are liking my positive-vibe pieces! Thank you <3
    Ah I am sure I will need to know that one day (enthalpy charge) so thanks for the info. Daymnn yes you sound sciency - I hope your physics and French test has gone 'bon' *looks proudly round thinking she's fluent french*.
    I agree that we must make mash the guard (I adore it - especially with gravy oozing down the sides). But ah...chips....how do I love thee??? Maybe for my next poem I'll do a sonnet for chips.
    Awhh I love the idea behind your UN - and yes insanely good wordplay my daydreaming internet sibling! That scout thing sounds so sweet (I quit the brownies after one session but u make group activities seem fun....wish I'd joined scouts now). IK what you mean about not wanting your name out on here as we don't acc know who anyone is on here. I did the same thing but this site is such a gem and full of great ppl. So glad I stumbled on it.
    My UN idea is not as advanced in terms of wordplay as yours. I simply just adore Paris. Always have, always will. I dream of living there one day, with my pot plants and paints spilling everywhere (maybe a dreamy french boyf featuring too). Ayyy good luck with A level French - I'll have to meet u in Paris one day to gorge on croissants (you can do the ordering - unless I am miraculously fluent by then).
    Hope you're good
    Becca :-) (joins emoji squad to feel cool) <3<3


    6 months ago
  • useless :)

    re: ahah ur comment made me smile at my computer screen for a good minute...seriously tho, thank you so much!! :D
    lol yeah, i honestly didn't know what to put for the writer's description so it's a bit generic, but oh well...and aw that's so sweet!! yup, it's definitely french XD

    i get that...my school wifi sucks, and even during online school, the computers they gave out have literally everything blocked, so i just started using my personal one midway through the year.
    ah, sounds LoVeLy. even online school is pretty tiring, but thankfully i'm on spring break rn, so i get a week to relax...although i have the nice promise of cramming in twice as much work as usually when i get back since exams are in a month and a half :D
    other than school-wise, how are u?


    6 months ago
  • McK13

    re: aww thank you so so much!!! I'm so happy that you liked it and thought it was a cute story :)


    6 months ago
  • useless :)

    re: yup
    also, ice lolly added their next edition in ;)
    i'm kinda relieved tho lol, i was pointlessly stressing over them somehow forgetting to not put my last name in, but they only added my first so that's cool :D
    if u wanna check it out you'd probably figure out which one's mine even without the poem title, cause i'm one of two with only their first name haha. but also my name's kinda long...
    alright, that's it lol. have a good night :D


    6 months ago
  • halle_cj

    Re: thanks! if a challenge is what you're looking for, definitely try a villanelle lol


    6 months ago
  • halle_cj

    Re: thanks! xo and as for the day/nightime, im from Canada :)


    6 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    Re: Thanks so much!


    6 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    Re: Thank you so so so much! That means everything! And yes, I have been an irish dancer, and an acrobatic contortion dancer, and lyrical/contemporary dancer for 14 years, and I have been going to Nationals for years and last year I placed in the world championship! I love it so much!!


    6 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: ooooooooooooh I will order my points too to try and look organised and like I have a clue what I am doing:
    1) YES WE WILL AVENGE THE SWEET PATATO SUPPORTERS (how dare they???) You will be a great evil scientist - meugghahahghahahgh (evil laugh - in case you thought I'd had some sort of spasm over my keyboard).
    2) I suck at sport too! I adore being outside and walking but anything where I have to move fast or have objects thrown at me by competitive people is TERRIFYING. You're almost done with PE though!!! whhoooop!!!!! (thanks for the art compliments <3)
    3) Wow you sound organised. My folders have sat unopened all day (my excuse is it is mothers day but that isn't exactly viable). Good luck with the revision and yes pls just message me for a ranting sesh anytime I will listen :D.
    'enthalpy change' is obviously when electricity moves from AC to DC *swings proudly round on an office chair having no clue of science terms because she has forgotten GCSE almost totally*. Seriously though...what does that mean??
    4) Also, been meaning to ask about your UN, it's so cute and I'd love to know the meaning behind it. Are you just a bear fan?
    5) You better have organised those highlighters ;)


    6 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    Re: Thank you so so so so so much!


    6 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: I worship potatoes too - roasted, fried, baked. Ach they are heaven (up for creating Britain's first potato cult? Coz same).
    Thank you sorry I am tryna stay postive! You're very sweet and yes friends just can be like that :)
    Yess testing is so weird!! Ooooh hello supergenius genes! Remember me when you become an evil scientist (or good, but evils more fun and plus you get to do the laugh). God, maths A level...good luck....Sure you'll be great..wanna exchange brains??
    Good luck with your exams! (I have A levels around then too - message me if you want to a) rant or b) panic simultaneously). Yeahhhh...I just started on revision too *stares at folders on floor wishing I could magically file the info into my brain without effort*.
    Thank you for your kind words about me story - I am really glad if you liked it lil sis!! Thanks for also being honest about the adjectives, I will try to go less crazy if I do another chapter! Yesss I had to include sketching, funny thing is I first wrote this piece back when I'd given up on pursuing art so it's quite sweet to see that the love for it was there. I'm really glad if you liked it Ellie - thank you!
    DW! I love long messages (this has probs turned into essay length - sorry :) ) Awhhh hope you have a great day and eat lots of chips (or roast potatoes) too <3
    Becca


    6 months ago
  • WolfyPop

    Re: Agh! I love Bardugo's books so much! I'm glad to find someone else who likes them, also I think the one with the darkling is the shadow and bone trilogy.. I really don't mind all of the notifications XD

    P.S. I love your writing!!!


    6 months ago
  • ~Aurora~

    Re: so true. republishing is my only saving grace lmao


    6 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    This is so cool and interesting, and your titles always draw me in; I literally read this five times, you have so much talent.


    6 months ago
  • ~Aurora~

    Re: tysm <3 So true tho you can proofread your work a 100 times and they still sneak their damn way in
    Also I love this piece. The descriptions the way it’s written. Amazing


    6 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    re: *sigh* yes indeed. killing characters can be hard sometimes, and I'm pretty sure Tom's not the last lol :P aaah gosh tysm!


    6 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    re: awwwwwww tysm! Ahaa yes I always feel kinda bad killing characters off when they're not especially evil. If they're a side character I usually make them a bit mean so you feel less sad when they die lol :P


    6 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: Lucky thing not having to do the throat swab! I was gagging away with the member of staff (poor thing) looking on. I apologised cos that look was UGLY eugh. I swear it's the only test we all wanna fail lol.
    Shame if sciencey parents are annoying - my parents are more the arts than sciences. I wonder sometimes if I could have ended up on a totally different track if they hadn't been so negative about science. Anyways, all done now and I am happy with me choices. Yesss useful to have physicsy parents for HW, I would always just end up crying if I didn't get it with my parents just there like 'we cannot help this child'. Fun times.
    Haha, I know what you mean about social skills and phones. I swear our generation is the most awkward ever. At least you had friends with you though, my friend ditched me so I ended up in the library :((, okay though because I had a free right after so I went and got chips with another friend :D. I really hope these aren't the best days of my life (like everyone says they are), because they sure as hell don't feel it lol.
    Take care Ellie
    Becca <3


    6 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Alright, no corniness this time; chapter 2 of Dangers From the Deep is out! https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/220133/version/468833 (finally)


    7 months ago
  • useless :)

    re: mhm. oh yeah, i always say it as barnes and 'nobles' for some reason, just a habit ig. i hadn't heard of waterstones but i just searched it up and it looks so nice and cozy lol, not as industrialized as shops here for sure.
    ah yes, the hogwarts letter...it's taking a while. i've been waiting since like, first grade :(


    7 months ago
  • gabimarie

    re: hey! thank you so much for the review, it really helped inspire me to revisit that piece! i took what you recommended, and I'm so happy i did, because i think that my poem is so much better now. hope you like it :) again, thank you so muchhh


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    re: Awww thanks! Oh really? That's cool!


    7 months ago
  • useless :)

    re: i'm more into harry potter than them, but they might still be able to remember some of each plot, def not the exact plot of any though. ahah yeah same, when i first started reading them i got them at a barnes and nobles near me, except they only had 4-7 so i 'read' 4 and 5 first (pretty much skimming them) before they restocked the others. then i actually read them all in order. i read them all pretty quickly, and when i finished the seventh book, i just felt so accomplished, like, irrationally waiting for someone to congratulate me XD. oh and i love rereading a book and finding things i hadn't seen before lol


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    re: I can imagine! But I think you're doing great :D And yeah reviews are so fun! I even won the flash fic comp last year with my review which was cool UwU


    7 months ago
  • Parisienne

    Re: yesss pls turn your show into a comedy series - I would 100% watch it! Ah I'm glad your parents are fans of quality art like mine (but yh I'll include some test tubes and pipettes so it is tailored to their interests!!) Cool that they're scientists though.
    Bless that's so adorable. Dw I swear I looked like a year 7 too (bearing in mind I am 18) and wow my social skills are terrible too. Eugh sucks that your lessons are longer - mine were all retimetabled at the start of the year to be an HOUR AND A HALF EACH. It's so we have less time in college but honestly the painnnnn. I've just had my first lateral flow test (embarassingly gagged of c) and am now sitting in a windy gazebo with a bunch of other antisocial people. You're jealous really. Yes seeing friends again is amazing, so glad you're having a good week lil sis!! Xo


    7 months ago
  • useless :)

    re: exactly! my mom's really helpful, but she can't understand everything. a lot of it isn't exactly expressed...i'm kinda bad at explaining how i feel if it's negative lol. and my brother...he'll go ''hAhA wHaTs uR PrObLeM'' whenever i feel sad lmao (not with bad intentions but still) so having my dog is great :)
    aw that's adorable :D
    my super obsessed with harry potter phase was kinda early, but i've never stopped liking it. my mom and brother had only watched abt half of the movies before so recently we rewatched them all together :)


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    re: LOL thanks :P I think you're pretty dedicated to be a CA!


    7 months ago
  • useless :)

    re: lel i completely forgot you replied...but yess. i love fudge, and sorbet, and honeycomb is so so good. i've never had it in ice cream but that'd be cool. basically just restated ur entire comment there, but aNyWaYs, hru doing? it's been a while haha


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Oh ok lol. Well yes I am! (not that I just said that OwO)


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Ah gosh tysm :D Yeah! Awww thanks! I think Eloise is pretty :D Oh ok. LOL I'm doing it anyway even though it's at 1am and I have NIDA that day. What I'd do for a good peer review! Well, have a good sleep!


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Np :D Well my name is Ruth, and my online nickname is Star ^^ Thanks, and yes it is :D Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww you're so sweet ~U~


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    re: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yesssssssss! Yeah lol. I went around Australia a couple years ago which was cool. Yeah I reckon. Aaaa I'd LOVE to go to Britain! Are you going to do the Write the World peer review summit?


    7 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: Sorry for not replying quicker - how's your week going lil sis?? Hope it's really good :).
    awwwhh thank you for your compliments on my lil metaphors - I just love throwing them into my pieces. I keep thinking about how amazing your comedy sketches are (Great British brew off gets me every time). And yet you also manage to create deep and meaningful work like this one :D. *TALENTED WRITER ALERT*
    *Glances around* yess I am Banksy...but shhhhh....they all think I'm male...FOOL'S (evil laugh). Yes I will happily spraypaint a house (never worked that large-scale before but I'm willing to try basically anything) - your parents will probably hate me tho :D


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Awww ty :D Yeah it was pretty funny. (not for my sis tho lol) Ohhhhhhhh that's youuuuu! You're so pretty! Eloise is a pretty name :D Oh my gosh YES! The US is so hot! It gets so humid and muggy....ew it's gross. But I do love the country and the people there so that makes up for it :) Australia is a much better temp :P Ach I wish I could go to Britain! I've always wanted to go on a Europe trip (especially France!)


    7 months ago
  • Draco Malfoy

    Re: sorry for the late reply, but thank you soo much. You were actually the first person to like my piece. I appreciate that so much. Thank for starting me up in this website


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Hello K G :D Hru? Have you done your interview thingie on insta yet? i wanna see what u look like lel


    7 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    Re: Thank you so much!! This means everything to me, you are so kind!


    7 months ago
  • don't you see the starlight (#TS)

    re: aw, thanks so much! idk where these songs come from sometimes. what's it like, being a CA? (just realized that this reply isn't on the piece i originally commented on... oops)


    7 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: Heyy lil sis - you had a good day?? hope so :D
    *looks shiftily from side to side checking for eavesdroppers* I am banksy..but.....shhhhh keep it secret. Yes, there's nothing quite like spraypaint, it's just so liberating but I also love the fine precision of stencils. I even tagged a bridge once hehe.
    Thank you for your compliments on shreds - I'm so glad you liked it. It seemed to me like it was a bit too much so I'm glad if that isn't the case :D


    7 months ago
  • Parisienne

    Re: ayyy the uncurlable hair club has been formed!
    Yes brass is VERY loud (the neighbours don’t talk to me anymore lol). We acc do play the final countdown sometimes aha! My favourite pieces are the jazzy ones tho – trumpet and Jazz go so perfectly together it is hard to ignore :D. Yesss, pls make this little orchestra romance happen, I can picture the composing going on awhhh :). You are such a great writer I am certain you could easily manage to write songs! They’d be deep and poignant and beautiful and your boyf could do a piccolo solo in the middle! Perfect!!!
    I just love how you described music GCSE, it sounds very interesting. ‘African-Celtic fusion (think accordion with a drum rhythm, and a repeated chorus about death)’ aha this is so funny! Daymn I can’t imagine a afro-celtic fusion must be, um, weird :D. Ahhh I love defying gravity (ngl I sometimes chuck it on on the bus and pretend I am in a music video haha). Well done for getting your performance over with – I’m so glad for you if it went well.
    Yes I did do art for GCSE. It is very stressy – my teacher didn’t like my style of working either (I did a project involving one of my favourite media’s - stencils and spraypaints). Ngl I think she popped a blood vessel when she saw what I could do with it – and that I managed to spray some of my old school’s fire escape with a nice sap green colour. Hehe. Awwh I am sure it wasn’t that bad but you should really keep an eye on that teacher – maybe the dark lord has made a return to your school dun dun dunnnnnnn. ;D


    7 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: awwwh thank you I'm not certain I'd be a great dog tbh - I'm messy enough as a human lol!
    oooooh you play double bass! WOW!! What an awesome instrument to be learning (heavy though for carrying around I imagine). So nice to be a part of an orchestra and the strings section always sounds gorgeous! I've never been in an ochestra, but I am in a brass band! :D. I hope you get to take part in some fun pieces too (I'm second cornet so IK what you mean about always playing the backing part *sigh*).
    Yess - we have to embrace bad singing in public places and ruin everyone else's fun - what's the point in doing anything else? The rest of the people in the cinema should be ashamed of themselves for not joining in!!
    Woahhh...you got to study Killer Queen at GCSE -knew I shoulda taken music. It is such a great song! 'Dynamite with a laser beam' - such amazing lyrics!! Haha, IK what you mean about 80's hair (how did our parents grow up vaguely mentally stable with an era of bad fashion like that to endure in adolescence?) Bryan May's hair gets me everytime - the guy hasn't even changed it and the era has LONG gone! Band aid is soooo good, I loved that bit too :D. Sorry to disappoint, my hair is straight as anything - I try curling it sometimes but the whole thing drops out so damn quick (I wouldn't have fitted in in the 80s haha).
    OMG don't that is just THE DREAM!!! I so would love a uni romance with a painter and poetry dude ahhhhhh. Maybe it'll happen - who knows? Maybe you'll meet a guy at Orchestra ooooh and you can write songs about each other *insides turn to mush* :D. Thank you, I hope I find someone who doesn't just drink 24/7 either (although it seems to me that this is the only reason boys opt for higher education).
    Hope you're having a good day and that your first week back at school is good! Take care and I'll try to remember all the tips you gave on charisma (god knows I need it!)
    Becca <3


    7 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: aha yess, it was fun to get my revenge *swirls round on office chair stroking an evil-looking cat*
    Shame you don't know many guys, I don't either if it helps. I'm hoping to really start getting to know guys again at uni (when they're not completely smashed tho obvs) but I still would like a lil romance at college if I could ( with a handful of weeks left it's not looking good). I hope you can have a romance Ellie, it's probs just around the corner for you!
    Aaah well, brothers are weird (from what I've seen), shame he's not an artist tho - that would be awesome! You're lucky your mum's only called you the dog's name once - most days I'm called sky (I must really need a shave lol - JK I don't look like the bearded lady in The Greatest Showman, my family are just deranged).
    Aaaw thank you - I'm glad you want to live in the desert city (I'll let you know once I've built the fortress). OMG yesss Bohemian Rhapsody was AMAZING, I watched it in the cinema with my sister and we were the only ones belting out the songs (the rest of the viewers were obvs uptight idiots - and are now probs deafened by our awful singing). Anyway it's a fantastic movie isn't it - which songs your fave?
    Absolutely love your email, I've sent mine over so you've got it ready. I'll miss you too, but it's all good coz we'll stay in touch!!
    OOooh music lesson - was it for piano (I see you can play from your bio)? I can only play the trumpet (my neighbours hate me lol)
    Have a great day :)
    Becca xo


    7 months ago
  • SamRose

    Re: Thx :)


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Tysm! I agree <3


    7 months ago
  • SamRose

    Re: Oh the driving laws must be different in the UK. In most of the US, Utah at least, you get your permit to learn to drive with a parent in the car at 15 and you can get your license at 16. I kind of wish it wasn't that early, tho, since I am worried I'll crash and injure somebody or myself XD


    7 months ago
  • Parisienne

    Sorry, didn't mean for that comment to be so long lol


    7 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: haha all boys are show offs I swear!!! They can't help themselves, it's like they got a contest going for it or something. '- wow you look like a female version of him (umm thanks?)' phhaaa I'm dyingg that's so funny! Honestly IK what you mean sort of because EVERYONE gets me and my sister confused (also my family have this weird tendency to call me the dogs name...didn't realize I have a fluffy beard and the tendency to chase my tail but apparently we must look similar! :D). Pencil in hair sounds interesting...is he a builder or architect oooooh or an artist? Or just does he like having a hair accessory?? That's so sweet that you have that though...awwww. I've had some really close guy friends in the past but other than that I've never had a long-term brotherly figure so I am very jealous (even though you have to put up with the rugby monologues - I get enough of those from my dad so I do know the pain :D).
    Thank you for the offer of dealing with an ex....I am tempted to say yes but nooo karma will get him in the end (tbh it already sort of did...I went to prom in the NICEST dress and just watched as the jaw. slowly. dropped hehe). Trust me if anyone tries to hurt you lil sis I will be over in a flash just let me know (probably riding my dog as I still can't drive and my bike has a flat tyre that I've managed to ignore for a solid six months :D).
    In reference to your singleness PLEASE don't worry. Honestly, I haven't dated anyone since I was sixteen (I am now the elderly age of eighteen, with friends continually pressuring me to 'get out there' again). Eugh well the guy in your primary school fling surely missed out on an amazing girl (you're honestly so funny, clever and such an incredible writer - his loss). You'll find someone when the time is right for you. ahhhh IK what you mean about wanting the stereotypical romance - trust me I definitely want that too. I am sooooo single it's unreal.
    'do you think it’s better to have no romance or to have bad romance? ' WOAHHHHHHH FALLEN IN A BAD ROMANCE. Sorry. Lady G gonna be stuck in my head tonight. I think you want to avoid toxic romances if you can, they really shred your confidence. Having said that, I pushed this guy away a couple of years ago because I thought it would end badly and only realize now that it actually may have totally worked *sigh*. I think the true love idea is the dream we all aim for, I know I certainly do haha. What do you think?
    yessss I dream of a Parisian romance, do you want to be in Paris too??
    It's so nice chatting with you barelybear, in October I have to leave the site (turning 19) so I was wondering if you would like to exchange emails before I go so we can stay in touch?
    Hope you're having a good day lil sis!
    Becca<3


    7 months ago
  • SamRose

    Re: Yeah, it's funny isn't it? I always drew myself with orange hair when I was little even tho I was blonde. I think it is because when I used rainbow pack of markers I would draw the skin yellow so I had to use a different color for the hair XD


    7 months ago
  • Parisienne

    This is so stunning! I love your revisions lil sis especially the line 'I joined the work call in the morning, shutting out everything but the pulsing logic of structures and materials, drowning thoughts in the thrum and sputter of the fan in the corner' plus the loss of the mother that makes the protagonist more sympathetic. It's really complex and unique as a piece!!
    Re: aha I'm sorry I guess a lot of my poetry is a lil depressing and about heartbreak (I just love being able to exorcise my experiences on this site :D). You are actually adorable and thank you, but he's not worth the energy of 'sorting out'.
    I kept my eyes out for manic drivers (and manic cyclists going to sort out my ex haha). I'm sure you'll be a great driver, I started learning but I'm still going coz of lockdown. Love your image of evil villan on swivel chair ahah, oooh you lucky thing having an older brother - that always sounds so cool to me!
    Have a great day and thanks again. Your comments make me smile so much :D


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Aaaaaaaah I love it! I'm just about to add mine in nowwwww


    7 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    Chapter five about my life is out :) Have a great day


    7 months ago