lilybeam26

New Zealand

New Zealander/American
Scorpio
I don't have a preference to pronouns, what ever you feel comfortable using is fine
16 going into year 12

Message from Writer

"Never think it didn't happen to you or it's not real, because it is for you and that's what matters."
-Unknown
Every writer is good, someone will like the things you write about, you just might not have found them yet.
Favourite Book- Dreamland by Sarah Dessen (Makes me cry ever time)

Life Update: I'm back! Things have been tough but I feel so happy, I've started a new book called Ghost Boy, all chapters are done in 2 parts, weekly updates!

Ghost Boy- Dead Stunned, Chapter 2 Part 1

February 25, 2021

FREE WRITING

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She just walked right through me, I slide to the floor, a thousand thoughts running through my head. All the lockers in the hall lean into me checking to see if I’m okay. My head spins and now I know. All the people, all the things Beulah and Steve had said to me, it all makes sense. I did die in that car crash, I was going to get adopted, no one can see me. My whole body beats with my heart's rhythm. I sway and bend in a made up wind, how have I lived like this for so long? 
I close my eyes and hold them tight. Colors swirl and mix on my eyelids, I fall for their soft touch and begin to calm down. In a flash I feel better, I get to my feet, breathing in to steady myself. 
I feel like there is so much I need to do, I need to find Danny and talk to Beulah and Orlando, I need to find Steve! I need to tell them all the news. 
I go to stand and the floor turns to water swimming before my eyes. I look up pressing a hand to the lockers and I spot Danny walking down the hall. I go to race after him, my imaginary feet pounding on the ground. 
I go to say something but nothing I can seem to think seems good enough. Can he even hear me? I stop, tears threaten to break the surface. Danny just keeps walking, opening his locker and replacing books. I walk up to him and put a hand on Danny’s shoulder.
Dannys’ head turns, “Jake?”
The tears that were threatening now run down my face dripping on the floor. I take a step forward and look into Dannys’ face, my eye catches on something in his locker. I turn my head seeing a picture of me and Danny, Jake and Danny. Forever. 
I remember the night so vividly. We were chilling round the bonfire sitting in $2 store chairs. Danny had walked over to me playing a tipsy housewife, stumbling and tripping. He made his way over to me sitting in my lap. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, that moment made me feel so powerful and strong. 
Danny had looked me in the eyes saying “Hey, there’s something I need to tell you.”
“Anything for you, darling.”
The laugh that erupted from Danny's mouth was so crisp and pretty, I wanted to hold it in my hands. 
And then he said it: “I’m gay”
I was so stunned that I just sat there.
“Jake?”
Danny had leaned in close to me, a hand resting on my jaw, thumb playing with my lips.
And then sparks of color came flying from our connection. His lips were on mine in a heartbeat, and I didn’t want to let go. So I didn’t. We sat there for what felt like hours on end. 
We break apart and all I could say was “I’m straight.”
My breath had left me from that point and couldn’t help but feel regret.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t… I mean…”
“It’s fine, come here.” I open my arms and Danny rests his head on my shoulder. I take my phone out and open the camera. I hold it up so me and Danny are both in the frame, Dannys’ hand snakes out from his side.
Snap.
And just like that I’m shot back to the present.
Dannys’ eyes peirce mine and I’m stuck in a daze. What feels like hours pass and I’m stuck here. I remove my hand from Dannys’ shoulder and take a step back. I wipe my face free of my tears and race down the hall towards the exit. I just couldn’t take it anymore, I miss Danny so much. 
I reach the doors and stop closing my eyes, before I had just weaved through the people trying my hardest not to ghost through any of them. I take a step forward and my foot goes numb, I retract it. Now that I know what it feels like I leap through the doors bounding on the other side. I open my eyes and a wave of happiness hits me in the chest making me want to scream, and so I do. I let all the air out of my lungs finally able to take a breath. Heads had turned my way and I can’t help but yell “It’s a good day to be dead!” 
I get a mix of responses.
“Hell yeah!”
“Amen”
“Not again”
“I can drink to that”
I laugh, running for Steve, the hotdog vendor. I run straight past the line outside his stall and go and hug Steve. It takes a while before his arms wrap around me too but when they do I can on fire. Eventually I pull back and tell Steve the news. 
“Ya figured it out kid! Good on you. I know Bealuh will be ecstatic to see you.’’
I thank him and race off to the beach slowing down so as to not fall off the boardwalk. I take the steps 2 at a time and walk casually over to the pit, smile on my face remains.
“Guess what?”
Sorry this part took so long to write, it really was a struggle to write but I pushed through.
I really hope u enjoy this next instalment BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus). I'm really excited for this book,, thank u for ur time.
 

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  • February 25, 2021 - 2:38am (Now Viewing)

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