Peer Review by gabimarie (United States)

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worms

By: your local cryptid {on hiatus}


FREE WRITING

But I’ll give back my body 
Feast on my state of mind 
And I’ll watch you cry as you say goodbye 
As I leave all of my senses behind 

And It’s lonely down here six feet under 
But the worms can all be my friends 
And as it comes to a close with dirt on my clothes 
It’s just how my story should end 
 

i guess you could call this a vent? idk man. just some more song lyrics 

Peer Review

I love the way you are able to rhyme without it seeming forced. There's something that is morbidly endearing about comparing the worms to your friends.


Honestly, I think it's perfect. The shortness of the poem keeps it concise and is able to capture your attention without losing it halfway through.


Reviewer Comments

Just so so so good! Morbid and dark in the best way possible.