Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

United States

I am a senior in high school. I have been on WTW since 8th grade. I am a Christian and am politically conservative. I believe that I can be friends and love anyone despite their beliefs. The world needs more love and encouragement, be that change.

Message from Writer

Hey guys. My writing seems to be life lessons in a way because I have a tendency to write about struggles or love in my poems. My goal is to make sure no one feels alone because despite your circumstances or your issues I promise you people love you. You matter. God loves you. God wants what is best for you. If you ever need a support system message me on here. I know life is really hard right now but we are all fighters and we can get through this.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
"Shoot for the moon and if you miss at least you will land among the Stars"
-Harry Potter, Maze Runner, Divergent
-Workout obsessed

My Life As A Novel Chapter Four

February 23, 2021

FREE WRITING

12
    Body checking is a daily occurrence for me. If you don't know what this is consider yourself lucky but if you do I feel your pain. Body checking is when you size yourself up in a mirror examining your size. I will say my relationship with my body image has improved over the years but I still have room for growth.
    When I was a baby, toddler and younger child I was the weight expected for that age group. I was not overweight until maybe the fifth grade. I love my parents but they are not healthy eaters and as a kid I could eat whatever I wanted, which is a good thing to an extent. In middle school I started noticing that I was larger than other girls and I absolutely hated it. I started going to the gym with my mom towards the end of my seventh grade year. I just wanted to look like the stick skinny girls that all of the boys liked. In middle school and elementary I was very boy crazy.
    My biological family has some history with obesity and being overweight so when I noticed my size as a middle schooler and freshman I wanted to do something about it. Freshman year is when I really got serious about my weight, health and body. Although I still have my moments when I eat things I shouldn't or do not work out as much as I should my health life is very balanced now. 
    Before COVID 19 decided to ruin everyone's lives I went to the gym four to five times a week and I worked out for around an hour and a half. On arm day I would run a mile on the treadmill, do a mile on the elliptical and do ten minutes on the rowing machine. After my cardio I would then do arm weight machines.... I never got into free weights due to the fact I am very clumsy but since having to workout at home I now use these. On leg days I would run one mile, do a mile on the elliptical, do a mile on the Stairmaster and sometimes do a mile on the bike, afterwards I would do leg weight machines. Leg day was my favorite day. I also did ab weight machines every single day I was at the gym.
    I have not stepped foot into my gym for a year now due to the pandemic. Although I workout decently hard at home and do interval running training it is just not the same as the gym. I miss being able to have state of the art weight equipment to help me with my strength. I am excited about returning to the gym soon though because my parents have both been vaccinated.
    My workouts now consist of a beach body video, I am currently doing the mfa program but I just finished the mbfa program. These programs are cardio and strength workouts because most of the exercises you do with workouts in your hands. I really like these workouts because they are no longer than forty minutes and I typically burn 200 calories doing them. I also currently do an ab plan I discovered on snapchat's VT challenges (I just started it and it is a six week plan), a lower ab workout off of Pinterest, arm resistance band exercises off of Pinterest, free weight exercises off of Pinterest and leg exercises off of Pinterest. I also go to my grandma's house and try to get three to four miles in my doing thirty minute running intervals and then completely my mileage by walking with my grandma or the neighborhood kids or doing my own type of intervals to finish it.
    Food is really important to me. I must confess that on vacation I do not normally eat healthy (and I went on one recently so I have a lot of guilt about that). On a typical day I have a strawberry, milk, dry peanut butter and spinach smoothie for breakfast. I do not like to eat a huge breakfast every single day so Monday through Friday I have a smoothie. On thursday mornings I do however go to chick-fil-a for breakfast and get a four count chicken mini with a fruit cup, a side of pickles, one Polynesian and one chick-fil-a sauce and a water. On the weekends I eat what my parents took which could be pancakes, a skillet of eggs and sausage or my personal favorite my dad's biscuits and gravy. For lunch Monday-Thursday I have a salad, fruit and either trail mix or a healthier salty food such as pretzels, baked chips or goldfish. On friday's I have off campus lunch at my school because I am an upperclassman. Friday is a cheat lunch for me and I love going to bojangles. When it comes to dinner I eat what my parents fix but one of my favorites is chicken rice and veggie stir fry.
    When it comes to drinks I do not drink soda and haven't in a few years. I may every once and a while have a taste or sip of someone's soda or a sample but I do not drink a whole can or bottle. The only time I actually have soda is if it is in a slushie and I am treating myself on a hot day or if it is in holiday punch. I typically drink a gallon of water a day and two to three glasses of milk. I occasionally drink sweet tea but I must confess I hardly ever do.
    When it comes to weight and size I have a goal that seems as if I can never reach it. I started my journey as a size 12/13/14 and weighed around 160 pounds. I am now around 130-135 pounds and am a size 8. My goal is to weight 120-125 pounds and be a size 6. I am extremely close. I really struggle with my mentality with loosing weight because I always see my stomach and thighs as not flat or small enough. I have come to realize and accept that I am curvy and average sized. Certain parts of my body will not get any smaller no matter how much weight I loose. I am pretty sure my face and waist/hip area are at the smallest they can go. My face has never really lost more weight after my initial ten pounds. 
    How I view my body is a big part of who I am. I have learned over the years to be confident. I might not be the skinniest girl at the gym or the one with the most muscles. I may not be the best girl on the track team but I am able to work very very very hard. This year I want to make waves in track for my season year. I have only ever thrown discus and shot put but for my fourth and last season I want to try sprinting. I am not a very fast runner but I want to improve. I owe it to myself to believe in myself. I am buying into the work this track season. I will be confident and I will work hard.
    To those who have felt like I did and I do you are not only. Please try not to play the comparison game although it is very tempting. Just do what is best for your body and the progress will follow. Muscle weighs more than fat so sometimes we don't need to look at the scale with a life or death expression. 
    Here is to reaching my goals and loving myself more. You will never look exactly how you want to but you must work to make your body as healthy as possible. God gave you this body now use it to the best of your ability's. Using your body also means loving it. If and when you look in the mirror like me and think about that small belly pooch under your belly button that seems to never completely go away remember you have organs and also you are still amazing even if your body doesn't seem perfect to you.

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  • February 23, 2021 - 8:39pm (Now Viewing)

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10 Comments
  • Writing4Life

    Lovely :) I can really relate to this because I've had health issues for almost 6 years which have resulted in a lot of unwanted weight gain. Even though I'm gluten free, sugar free, and vegan (and do 1/2 hour to 1 hour of excercise per day) the weight doesn't seem to go. (partly because I have a parasite that legit holds on to all the fat) But I agree, comparing yourself is NEVER ok. You're never going to look exactly how you want, so you might as well be happy with how you are. (doesn't mean you can't work to change it tho) Can I be notified please?


    2 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    Great piece. I liked hearing about the specifics of your workouts, and also the main goal behind it. I feel like i relate somewhat... I mean, I’ve always been fairly small, which also means very short, so any weight gain is more noticeable on me than it would be on a girl who’s 5’8”. But sometimes I lose dedication or drive, so my workouts are inconsistent, even though I’m one of the more in-shape people on my VB team. I also like mid/long distance running (this is more recent in my life—HATED cross country as a 5/6 yr old) and only just learning to really push myself. You should definitely go out for sprints in track! 400m can be a killer but it’s an incredible race. Or maybe you should do some long distance *wink* XD


    2 months ago
  • SamRose

    Wow! This is so motivational and inspirational! I, personally, am one of those super tall, thin girls who don't have to work out to be skinny XD. But sometimes I think that it is better to have to work to stay thin. I have a lot of trouble motivating myself to work out. I may not have much fat on my body, but there isn't exactly any muscle there either. XD I really need to motivate myself better to work out, not for my size, but for my overall health. I have a younger sister who has to really work to stay thin, and I really admire her commitment. She does cross-fit and works out a lot, and is not as thin as me, but is in WAY better shape. I have some cousins who have the same metabolism as her, and are, you know, a little large. I really admire anyone who has the motivation and work ethic to keep on a workout schedule. Good for you! You are beautiful inside and out. :)


    3 months ago
  • Renegade_Writer [ChildOfGod]

    Hey would you like to join my unofficial Christian writers group? Just add the tag [ChildOfGod] to your username or bio and you're in! God bless!


    3 months ago
  • Jason_claire :)

    That is super impressive; I wish I had that motivation. I'm cheering for you and hope you reach your goal :)


    3 months ago
  • doodleninja

    wishing you all the best in reaching your goals and taking care of yourself! this was super encouraging to read, kudos to you for staying strong and diligent! <3


    3 months ago
  • _Delphiruns2theocean_

    Oh wow. I do know what a body check is, but I have never done it, at least from what I remember. Soccer, water polo, surfing, running, and in between workouts with core for soccer and dryland weights for water polo keep me in shape. I applaud you for your hard work (something I can relate too, not in a weight loss way, but in my sports and in the classroom), and I can't wait for more!


    3 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    re: so this is the series, right? that's pretty incredible that you're writing about your whole life!


    3 months ago
  • serein

    I love how hard-working and passionate you are!!
    Just remember YOU GOT THIS!! And you're beautiful any way you are. Great job!!


    3 months ago
  • BriRiley

    I think this is my favorite one yet! I am currently going through a workout journey too and this was really motivational! And alas i do know what a body check is. Its sounds like you are working really hard! I hope you can reach your goals!


    3 months ago