anemoia (#words)

United States

WtW's resident "the cool cousin you see once a year, but the conversation you guys were having a long time ago picks up where it left off without missing a beat" (rosi)

Child of God
logophile
athletic nerd

Female
Soph.

Message to Readers

republishing cause life is busy and projects are on hold. <3

how do we be?

March 13, 2021

FREE WRITING

9
sonder fell upon me today
as i watched the cars pass by
where are you going?
where are you from?
do you ache for something more?


anemoia strikes in all its faded glory
like the daguerreotypes of gentlemen in top hats and waistcoats
or photographs in sepia tones
that highlight the vacant stares of men in boater hats and suspenders
grainy film reels of
the boys with the slicked back hair,
behind the wheel of a red convertible Mustang
wasn't it simpler?
is there something beautiful about the past?

i endeavor to make time for ambedo 
to watch the fragile shoots of green battle for survival
in desert sand and rock—the size of a freckle, yet they claim their right to live
how do you fight so hard
for something that will be snatched from you no matter what you do?


that delicate and dangerous moment of opia
when you meet someone's gaze 
with unnerving intensity
like the person across the street at the stoplight
or the cashier in the store
or the person that you're acquainted with and should probably say "hi" to
and yet you don't
and you freeze
and it's over
i'll let down my guard
if you let down yours
why is it so hard to look someone in the eye?
how vulnerable must i be?


vellichor, in its wistful tranquility, haunts me like a friendly ghost
pleading with me to escape
fall into a thousand new worlds 
each more beautiful and terrible than my own
infused with the irreplaceable aroma of yellowing pages and a sense of belonging
where each book waits to be chosen and cherished 
how could i ever leave?
can i spend eternity among these old friends?

that blasted adronitis, when all you want is to know someone
yet time and circumstance prevail like a gate, barring you from further passage
you want to peel their layers back like an onion
peer into the web of thoughts and feelings that make them unique
unwrap them like a long-lost treasure discovered in a dusty wardrobe
do you want to know me as much as i want to know you?
what lies inside that head of yours—hopes and dreams and fears like mine?

can we skip past small talk and feel truly alive together?

the exhaustion of being in a room full of useless anecdoches
he said, she said, no one listened
but perhaps all they wanted was to say it 
to expel the words
even if no one heard them
sometimes that in itself is enough
do you need someone who listens?
will you hear me this time?

when you drop consistent semaphorisms, but no one picks them up
you're crying out the best you can
without being forced to say that
you need something, someone
why don't you hear my aching?
i need to speak; can you open that door for me?


sometimes you search relentlessly for la gaudière
like anne shirley, restless until you discover some glimmer of treasure
weren't you an innocent once?
didn't you do kind things?

speak to me and i will listen when chrysalism overtakes me
thunder, what do you mean?
raindrops, are you okay?
wind, can you hear me too?


this heartwormit frightens me
lingering in the recesses of my mind
i thought he was long gone
why does he still haunt me?
why can't he leave my head?
does he realize i could still fall for him if i tried?


the gravity of xeno cannot be dismissed
anything to keep the loneliness away
people need people and
the smallest glance, nod of the head, hint of a smile
is all it takes
don't you know that i'm here for you?

i choose to believe in meliorism
"he belief that the world can be made better by human effort"
maybe it balances out with the darkness humans create, but
what if we all believed it?
what if we all made one person's life a little better?
do you think our lives would be in vain?
2.26.21: added to. i might continue to do so.
This is from my #words piece, edited and added to a little. I wanted to publish it as a separate piece, to be more than an announcement. To be something personal.

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  • March 13, 2021 - 6:27pm (Now Viewing)

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11 Comments
  • Yellow Sweater

    Re: That was actually the part that people I have talked to are having the most trouble with. I am trying to decide whether to scrape it or modify it. I agree with you about the greater good. But I think its kind of a necessary evil of sorts. And again the issue really comes down to who to trust. I don't nessasarly trust our elected officials. I believe in democracy because evidence has shown that it really is the best system. But it seems kind of random to me, like all the people with the biggest egos get thier name put into a hat. But I do trust that behind every elected official are lots of qualified people who are actually doing the research and making informed decisions. How else could you explain the fact that america didn't completely fall apart during trump's administration.

    I wrote a whole other version of this that I am about to post if you want to check it out I would love your thoughts. I am still thinking about how I want to deal with that line though.


    2 months ago
  • anonymous_123 [Child of God]

    re: i do not mind who does!


    2 months ago
  • Avril

    Re: Thank you so much!
    Also this is lovely, wow. I like the 'sonder' one and the 'anecdoches' one the best!


    2 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender

    Re: thank you so much!!


    2 months ago
  • anonymous_123 [Child of God]

    Re: I’m not sure what there is email was just about to ask you


    2 months ago
  • Emi

    Wow...this is breathtaking. The words are just gorgeous!
    Re: sure, feel free to use my format! Also, I speak of a "public schooler" accent cause all the public schooled kids in my area sound the same to me (probably cause they pick up each other's way of speech while together). Whereas in my experience homeschoolers tend to keep "family accents" cause they are not around other people all the time so it sounds more individual. Just something I've noticed.


    2 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    re: do you uh..
    think you could tell me what those notes say, lol

    it's crazy that i'm fangirling over your interpretation of my own writing lol


    2 months ago
  • Yellow Sweater

    Re: Cool! thank you so much for the suggestion. I will definitely check her out!


    2 months ago
  • Yellow Sweater

    Re: thank you so much for your comment! Even I don't entirely agree with all the points I made:) I haven't read Ayn Rand. What kind of stuff do they write about?


    2 months ago
  • psithurism

    re: Thank you! You're so kind. <3


    3 months ago
  • barelybear

    Re: if you do, you’ll have to let me know! Any American things to try? I fell in love with the marshmallowy beauty that is lucky charms when I visited haha


    3 months ago