Peer Review by Zinniav (United States)

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hemochromatosis

By: your local cryptid


FREE WRITING

i had a dream about you 
in which your bones pressed into the soft fat of my stomach 
and when the sun hit my eyes I was 
genuinely terrified 

you smelled like you did 
your hair falling in all the correct patterns 
the scaly grafts of your skin weaving together 
to form a melancholic tapestry of tears 

the chronic hunger in our stomachs fester 
slowly crawling up through our throats 
and blossoming at the corner of our mouths 

is it possible for you to shift into an illusion? 
maybe if I reached my arms out far enough 
we could bridge the gap to bring you home 
 


Message to Readers

any comments are helpful!


Peer Review

The imagery in this piece is spectacular. It's fascinating, beautiful and gut wrenching.


I actually think you have hit the right balance when it comes to detail. Actually, there are a couple places where I feel like it could be a bit more paired back, but only a couple.


Reviewer Comments

Beautiful piece! I haven't done a review in a while and this was a absolute pleasure to review!