Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
The numbers grabbed me wondering what they we're about.
I wouldn't say an extremely new light, it's a highly covered topic but it did give an interesting perspective.
I think more writing devices... one word sentences, dramatic pauses, to the end the paragraphs lost my attention a little. Maybe make it sorter and bring in the first person narrative sooner but don't get too caught up in who you are.
It's going well but it does need more work! I think the beginning is really powerful but it looses some of this power later on. Also try working on a more imacting ending; the quote is good but slightly deflated, it's a very used and known quote, maybe change it to something a little more surprising? Or keep the quote but give it more of a strong build up?
This is a tough topic and I think you've addressed it well. I'd recommend watching the short film "the fleeting little life of peter wright" which is absolutely fantastic, tackling suicide in a very different way to how it's normally perceived - kinda voicing what we all thing.
Also a film called Inside Llewyn Davis is more on the topic of folk music but also has some good quotes about the subject ("what happened to your partner?" "he threw himself of the Washington bridge" "-the Washington bridge! it's the golden gate, traditionally, the Washington, who does that?!")