Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Many strong synonyms and the statistics.
It makes me more aware of the risk of suicide in teens, and makes me want to persevere and keep going.
If the writer told a story about someone who saved someone from suicide or listed the statistics of people who don't commit suicide because someone saved those people from doing so to make readers want to help others through the darkness.
This is a great essay filled with facts and a lot of truth.
Since this is a speech, I would recommend changing the style a little by adding some more punctuation so that it's more of a speech and making it a little less poetry.