United States

Ridiculously self- pressured, hopelessly (and unsuccessfully) in love for three years, and scared to write the things that matter. And that’s me on a good day . Good luck.

Message from Writer

“Here’s some advice- stay alive.” Haymitch Abernathy
“I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if ... But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”- Marilyn Monroe
“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.”- Coco Chanel

Perfect Little Cheerleader

February 19, 2021


I saw it in my head
the swift strokes
the perfect pulldown
the Speed
I saw a better me.
a faster me
a stronger me

I’ve always been the smart sister
Books and words and a straight row of As.
That’s what I have.
She has the glory.
I have the grades.

I’ve watched gymnastics meets
Ballet concerts.
And I’ve cheered through all of them
Smiled, even when I would rather do anything else-
so hard I wanted to rip out my teeth
As easily as she rips away medals
from the hands of her competitors.

I poured in effort in place of natural ability
Push-ups for perfection 
Crunches for triumph.

I’ve waited.
and I’ve worked. 
Bided my time.

And then watched as she passed me.
every girl who went home
When I stayed at the pool
laughed before meets
Hung out while I worked.

But I saw my sister’s face.
as she pulled ahead of me in the final leg
and touched.
As I swooped in for a final breath.

I return in defeat.
To the sidelines.
To get lost in the noise
Lost in her glory.
always in the shadows
The perfect little Cheerleader.



See History
  • February 19, 2021 - 10:49pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Parisienne

    This is so articulately presented and I agree with Lizzie - nobody's perfect and I am sorry you had to endure this! Sibling rivalry is insanely hard to cope with

    7 months ago
  • Lizzie R

    Oh darling I'm so sorry. Don't let yourself fall in her shadow. Be you because that's the only thing you can be. You don't need to change yourself one bit. Stay strong and stay. you. Don't hurt yourself to be different. Good luck and don't put too much pressure on yourself. No one is perfect.

    7 months ago