useless :)

United States

hi!
idrk what i'm doing but
she/her
14 :)
pisces
est 1/22/21

Message from Writer

scribble chums with Starlitskies, em wilder, and remi'sgotinkstains
go check them out, they're amazing writers :)

"Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world."- Anne Shirley
"Thank you for your consideration."- Katniss Everdeen
"Great, we're all bloody inspired."- Newt

tysm for 90 followers!! :D

have a great day everyone!

interstellar dreams

February 19, 2021

FREE WRITING

20
the wind twirls in the simple silence of the night,
dancing to the melody of darkness.
it whips loose strands of hair into my face,
and sprinkles the last remnants of sanity
throughout the corners of my mind.
my attempt to bottle the fragile residuum is feeble,
as a concept so foreign cannot be confined, the glass only shatters.

i blindly feed off of senseless hope.
my hands are scarred and weak with nightmarish echoes of defeat,
but i bore an unspoken promise into my mind,
one to persevere, at least until dawn.
i string my dreams along only the end of a frayed piece of silk,
woven clumsily into my web of lunacy.

i have weighed my love and hate for the night sky,
and i begrudgingly confess they sit dead even.
perhaps that is because fervor must be balanced
if it is to stay far from the entryway to madness,
though i am afraid i have likely stumbled through those gates,
in a stupor fed by dubiety.

i am buried so deep in the realm of insanity that the only rays
of sunlight visible are unreachable at best,
and realistically, merely delusions taunting my numbed sensory.
my own voice was washed away long ago
by the choppy sea of doubt residing in my mind.
it drowns out my screams, muffles my sobs,
and tears out the frail anchors which were solely
keeping me clutched onto reality.

the stars perplex me, as i cannot tell whether
they invite me to bask in their glory, or purely mock my insignificance.
the latter has always been assumed, as i could not dream
that my trivial ventures could light up the sky.
their voices are indistinguishable melodies of inspiration or ridicule,
bliss or misery. a canvas blotted with intertwining swirls of black and white,
so deeply infused that they merely blend into a bleak shade of gray.

i brace myself for the tedium of the subtle shift
between midnight and the early hours of the morning.
this is when my contemplation turns chaotic, incoherent,
as the undesirable presence of doubt infiltrates my mind.
this time, though, by a miracle of nature, or
perhaps my own sheer will, my mind resists.

i see not the malice of dark secrets blowing across the sky,
but instead the gentle caress of the wind.
the malevolent reflection of my past lightens to
reveal a gorgeous lake filled with mirthful memories once forgotten, and
the lifeless grass suffused with seemingly wilted hibiscus flowers
turns into the simple, flourishing beauty of nature.

the ether is suddenly illuminated in a spectacle of utter chaos,
and i breathe in infinite tales of love and despair and broken miracles.
i grasp one of the fractured pieces of hope and it whispers to me,

don't let go. hold me, keep me, adorn me with your dearest dreams and wishes, as it is not every day you witness the birth of a star.
if you've read any of my other pieces you might recognize a few lines, that's because i reused some lol. this is kinda all over the place cause 80% of this was written after midnight XD but i haven't published in a while so i figured i'd publish this one. thanks for reading :)

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54 Comments
  • Nyla

    Wow! I loved this! The whole piece was so beautifully descriptive and the "I string my dreams along only the end of a frayed piece of silk" was one of my favourite parts! The ending was incredibly moving as well! Amazing job!! And hahah, (responding to footnotes now) in my notebook, sometimes I just write down 1 or 2 lines that I really love before stringing them together into something bigger! :) RE: Omg awww, thank you!! I'm so glad you loved it and especially picked up on the innocence part!


    about 1 month ago
  • barelybear

    Re: haha I’m glad it made you smile - still super proud that you went for it <3
    Ahhh spring break! We just had half term at the end of February, and I’ve got 3 weeks (wellll 2 and a bit, if we’re counting) until the Easter holidays (revision time agh).
    But yeah putting all that aside, I’m doing pretty good. I’ve kinda stopped writing a little, and I’m just hoping I’ll be back into the mood by the time my next exemplar comes around :D or maybe the exemplar will get me back in the mood.
    It’s also been really great to see my friends again, and being in school means I can take my piano exam yay :D
    There’s a study that says if you tell yourself your excited rather than scared, all the scared adrenaline turns to productivity or smth lmao. Ima try that haha.
    How are you doing?? Hope you’re having a great day over there!


    about 1 month ago
  • barelybear

    Also Ik this was kinda late but the school wifi is way too good at blocking every fun site :c
    (Yes yes yes I’m back at school. So far that = exhaustion, tiredness, lethargy, with an extra sprinkling of fatigue and exams.)


    about 1 month ago
  • barelybear

    YESSSSS!! OMG BEST ONE IN THERE! I loved it on here, and I love the changes you’ve made! I’m so glad you decided to go for it - trust me, I don’t think anyone can track you down from that. And your writer’s description is also the best, I think (ngl everyone else was just showing off all their achievements :D). But wow I love when Americans say soccer haha.

    And odkskksjs your name is the most beautiful jewel drop gem lel it’s hard to describe in real words I just love it!! And it sounds so Frenchhhh!


    about 1 month ago
  • Stone of Jade

    re: im in WA so we don't get a ton of fall colors or snow either...prob a little more than in FL tho. I love FL beaches! Sand and shells!!! All we have is driftwood and rocks--but the beaches here are gorgeous! lots of woodsy vibes. My fav part about boston was the field trips we would take for school to the public gardens. the baby swans are legit the most cute fluffy birds. it's funny...on the east coast i would see the birds hatch and grow and then migrate....now in WA i see the adults cause they all come here for winters XD
    OOH The bunker hill monument is amazing! we climbed part of it when we walked the freedom trail--which takes you all over boston and is highly recommended.

    writing without plot is such a blessing and a curse. i have so many ideas but i always want a plot to go behind them (which is a lot harder). i have one story that right now just consists of a death scene lol (even tho it pains me I often kill off characters--its a problem lol)


    about 2 months ago
  • beth r.

    re: SAME they called it like a wax museum or something? totally traumatic. at least you got pizza lol


    about 2 months ago
  • Nikki

    re: wow that sounds really scary, especially for somebody in 6th cuz, you're kinda tiny at that age.
    i hear you a thousand times, one part of me was screaming to be sensible the other was in total panic mode. i think my reason was partly cuz i was tired. the other reason was the entire piece XD
    thank you! you're so sweet. i would LOVE to get to know you though! :3


    about 2 months ago
  • Coolgirl2020 (LOVE YA ALL)

    Part 3! Thanks for reading! ^-^
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/221010/version/463059


    about 2 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Ohhh ok, I gotcha :P I'm sure you'll do something awesome!


    about 2 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Awww tysm ;D I'm the opposite; I've got too many things I want to do!


    about 2 months ago
  • Lata.B

    Hey please check this piece out! I wrote about your kindness in the message box! Thank you for reading my work and supporting me! <3
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/220887/version/462743


    about 2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Haha I watched the quadratic formula one too. The weasel was hilarious! But I swear some people have way too much time on their hands lmaooo
    Ah yes I guess we both must find each others’ systems weird haha


    about 2 months ago
  • barelybear

    oop long message alert haha. you might want to sneak in a coffee before you read :p


    about 2 months ago
  • barelybear

    ahhahaha we have a "pop goes the weasel" for how to work out the area of a trapezium lmao. wow that sounds kinda confusing haha. we have gcses in year 11 which is in 7-12 subjects (usually 9 or 10, the others are for special cases). then in year 13 we do 3-4 a levels and you can do an as level, which is like half an a level. the universities ask for particular grades and you can only go if you achieve them, so that's where most of the stress is. (obviously if you want to study medicine at oxford you're going to be looking at 998 or A*A*A etc, whereas for a less prestigious one, it's easier to get in). i think the worst bit is you only find out your results at the end of July, so if you're not sure you'll get what you need, your second choice has to be lower or it's really worrying haha.
    Extra credit seems like a pretty good system. Here you can get ucas points for music exams and stuff, and you want to make your personal statement look impressive, but it's not quite the same. Mostly it's academic-orientated if you plan on going to uni :/
    I don't think we have many people move up or down a year. I think recently they've let the kids born in august and July move down a year so that they're the older ones when they start primary, and if someone moves from another country where they've moved up a year, they can stay up a year.


    about 2 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    oh. my. word. this is absolutely AMAZING! so so gorgeous...
    /perhaps that is because fervor must be balanced/
    idky but I love this line^^ something about it is..just gorgeous . This whole piece is stunning. and I love the title.
    re: yay someone got it XD boston is just so gorgeous. i love the east coast so much. i live in the PNW now and seattle is....ugh. boston is the only city for me XD one day i want to go back and explore boston all over again. altho my favorite parts with always be the quiet parks and graveyards (it sounds weird but they are so cool). thank you so much for your comment! it made my day haha


    about 2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Aw good morning to you too!
    Ahhh the crowd. Yes. Well even at my school, there are those people, but it’s evident that there are much fewer of them.
    Try not to worry too much about the lottery. If they say it’s random, it’s random. So good luck, but don’t put yourself down if you don’t get in.
    And if it comes to working harder, a good thing is that you recognise you need to put in effort lmao. It shows you’re going to try. Idk what you guys do, but we take lots of science tests and we do exam questions throughout the year, particularly after the year where in the US, you start hs. I suspect because it’s a whole new school, that’s where they’ll start helping more with revision and exam techniques.
    (For revision, because I love writing, I really love writing notes. And I’ve written a few song parodies - like ‘Shut up and Dissolve with me’ lmaooo) The song parodies take a while, because rhymes, but if there’s a topic that you cannot remember at all, or needs a lot of work, the song means it is reallly ingrained in your head haha.


    about 2 months ago
  • Coeur

    re: Sorry for the late reply but your comment was really nice!! So is this work as well, "i see not the malice of dark secrets blowing across the sky,
    but instead the gentle caress of the wind." is such a great couplet!!


    about 2 months ago
  • Livsnjutare

    This is BEAUTIFUL! You used so many words that I will eventually look up in the dictionary because I NEED to know what it means! They were so pretty!
    re: Thank you so much! You're right, who doesn't love TMR or THG!


    about 2 months ago
  • JACOB HOUSTON

    This is so good; it really made me smile...also, if you have time, I would love it if you would check out my new song 'the farm' - had to reupload it because people were commenting negative things even though it was about my grandmother who passed away, you will understand when you read it.


    about 2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Re: ahhhh you are very kind, and I’m glad you liked it. Yeah we went out of the box, because I looked at last year’s winners of the competition and they all seemed really thoughtful and unique. So thank you :D
    And don’t apologise for writing loads! I love reading your comments!

    Ahhh the dilemma. You seem like a really great person, so I’m sure that
    a) if you went to the first school, you would make some amazing friends, and stay in contact with the old ones
    b) if you went to the second school, you would be able to get into college through work and merit, and certain pieces of published writing :)

    I had a similar thing choosing secondary. There was she school most of my friends were going to, which was a little shabby, but I’d get by. And there was this nicer, more rounded school, but you had to pass a test to get in. Only one of my other friends even applied and I ended up going there all on my lonesome.
    I guess the move is big for everyone, so people are going to make new friends whether they have old ones or not. And since the first year of secondary, I’ve only stayed friends with one of my first year friends. Friendship is an evolving thing.

    And as for not getting in, then don’t worry. As I said earlier, I’m sure you would do amazing at either school, and if the lottery says nope, then you’ll get to go through all those cheesy high school moments with your current friends yay :)


    about 2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Re: yeah covid has changed a lot, and definitely if you haven’t done anything really big and public before, it can be super scary. But I agree that it seems to go w little when you get older. And obviously, being back in school could help (:o high school!)

    But take your time with that and your mum, for when you think you are ready :D

    This has been a really great chat ahah, and good luck with ice lolly woman :p and congrats again again :D


    about 2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Re: sounds like a good decision. Yeah only tell your mum when you feel ready. I get that there’s something warming about keeping your writing personal and private. But you are really an amazing writer, so at some point, I’m sure she’d love to hear something. I think you did a good thing to listen to your gut and ask them not to share too much, as that is what will make you feel the happiest.

    Ah ok with the CA thing. Basically they said I’d got the job etc, and sent out an email to all of us (they didn’t bcc so we all know each others’ emails. We then also called in person, so we know we are all real too etc). And after the call, they emailed and asked for a bio, some q and a answers, and a photo (plus consent from an adult). I don’t think the photo was compulsory, and they are super nice so should you be in the position one day, I think you would be able to ask if they could only use a first name, didn’t use a photo etc. The main bit of being a CA is the reviewing and community engagement anyways. Plus, they are super hard to find on the website. Like even if you come across the page, you literally have to scroll down a marathon :D

    It made me a little nervous, but I have trust that this website has dealt with loads of young writers, and have people monitoring etc so it’s a pretty safe place to share. Yeah you kinda just have to weigh up chance and all that (yanno like they have the photos of all the competition winners up there) and really think about whether you are comfortable or not with it. I would definitely recommend applying at some point, even if you don’t use a picture, though perhaps you will need to tell your mum. In some ways, it would be a good way to force yourself to tell her, if you needed it lmao.


    about 2 months ago
  • mirkat

    ahhhhhhhhhhhhh wow..... i cannot pick a fav line, everything here is so poignant and beautiful and emotional. i love it. and ha, i reuse lines from other things i've written too! or sometimes i write about the same thing over and over again. this kinda reminded me about having insomnia... the struggle to be at peace with my mind and body.it could really be about many things though and that's what i love about poems like this. oh and i happy (belated) birthday! i hearby welcome you into the 14 year olds club! it's not that different from 13, you are just an official teenager now basically because you are two years in to teenagehood if that makes sense. ha. wellllll i read through barley bear's comment below and saw that you submitted a poem somewhere? it got accepted? well congrats on that!
    <3<3<3
    re: ohhhh and thanks for your comment glad it made you happy!


    about 2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Hmm okay there is obviously the massive pro that you got into the magazine!! Congratulations! You are so amazing uwu

    I definitely wouldn’t recommend you doing anything you’re not comfortable with. I was a little nervous even for CA on this website, because it meant my photo would be on their Instagram and for lots of people to access. But I figured this was a small enough place, and there was nothing about where I lived or anything, other than in the uk somewhere.

    So it’s good to think through if you want to or not. If you do go for it and use an initial, then I would say that’s pretty safe. If you think about it, on the news or in magazines quite often there are stuff like “We’ve had a question from Jessie from London,” and I’ve never really heard of anything bad happening from that. From what you said, the magazine seemed to just want your state for research, rather than publishing, so in that regards you’d probably be alright too (though I expect if you asked they could ensure it definitely wasn’t published). Talk with your parents as well, if you’re close, and see what they think. I’d think that the magazine would be understanding though if you decided against using your name.

    Another thought that popped into my head is that often writers have pen names. If you had one in mind, you could publish the piece under a pseudonym and choose to save your actual name for people you know.

    Hope this helps ahah. Remember to do what you are comfortable about, as it’s a great thing that you’ve been chosen for the magazine, so don’t let worries weigh you down.
    Hope this helped :)


    about 2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Re: lmao we love being embarrassed by our own natural traits :p <3


    about 2 months ago
  • JACOB HOUSTON

    Re: Yes, You got it exactly!!! And thanks so much!!!! You got it exactly - and I would love here your ideas, definitely let me know and I most likely will record it depending on the rest of the feedback I get.


    about 2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Omg you do that too? I literally am lost in my memories. Most of the time it’s cringing, but sometimes I’ll think of a joke between me and a friend and then start grinning and laughing like crazy oops


    about 2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Re: LMAOO now you’ve got me snorting manically in front of my parents (it’s okay because we’re watching tv, so they just think I’m weirdly amused by the guy’s broken leg). Omg haha my sister had a tooth taken out so we got a tub of ice cream, because she’s only allowed to eat smooth things for a while. It was strawberry, and I was very very happy :)


    about 2 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Ach *hides face* tysmmm <3 You're too sweet! Tytytytytyyyy <333 That means a lot!


    about 2 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    re: haha yes he isss! Tysm :DD Ofc!


    about 2 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    As a tribute to awesome people on here I have started a series about my life. Please check it out my friend.


    about 2 months ago
  • Kasilee

    Re: omg yes sam Smith is amazing, I lovee stay with me, and I'm not the only one, I remember when that first came out and I was younger, my brother would play it in the car and I'd come home and sing it to the animals, Lol, thats so weird I know


    about 2 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Oh no! What's that swimming towards you? Look out! It's Chapter 1 of Dangers From the Deep! https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/219473/version/460954
    (damn that was so corny, I apologize)


    about 2 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    (lovely title as well!) And congrats on 60!


    about 2 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    (HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!) Wowwwww this is absolutely gorgeous! Really really really stunning o-0


    about 2 months ago
  • McK13

    Re: aww thank you! Yes, she is my really cute 9 month old labradoodle and her name is Callie! You’re so sweet for asking about her and saying she’s adorable!


    about 2 months ago
  • BizzleWrites

    Re: Thank you! I'm really flattered by that feedback :). Also, I don't have time right now to read this whole poem (family outing), but I really love the start of it and I'm going to finish it later. So you'll probably get another comment here later or tomorrow :).


    2 months ago
  • McK13

    Re: aww, thank you so much!! I'm glad that you have liked the songs that I've written. That means the world to me! And also, thank you! She was definitely the best supporter I could have asked for! By the way, happy 14th birthday!!


    2 months ago
  • Coolgirl2020 (LOVE YA ALL)

    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/219923/version/460543
    A mysterious link haha, wonder where it leads... ;)


    2 months ago
  • Love, Rose

    this is beautiful - i love your word choice


    2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Re: woah it sounds like it could do with a waterfall down the centre lmaoo. (And obv you’ve got the pool agh I want this garden haha)
    Yay out of the unlucky year :p
    yeah I’ve completely gone off it as well I always think about the poor animals :c
    Eeeehhh thank youuuuu! I literally had to put that in there because I’m starting to get obsessed with dad jokes.
    Wow this is pretty random with absolutely no links but haha we love conversation


    2 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Oh and the title is stunning! <3


    2 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Happy Birthday, Bella!!!!!! (Is it fine if I also call you that?) Hope you have a blast today and a great year ahead of you! This poem is really really beautiful! You are a magnificent writer, so keep on writing and keep on being awesome! I'm so proud to be your scribble chum! <3<3<3
    "i have weighed my love and hate for the night sky,
    and i begrudgingly confess they sit dead even." - I am in love with these lines!!! <3


    2 months ago
  • remi'sgotinkstains

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA! (that's just what i'm going to call you, is that alright?)
    I've been 14 for 3 days now. It feels great. I cleaned out a whole bunch of my room and simplified all my stuff. It's truly releasing and feels like I'm really in a new year of my life. Although I got terrified last night thinking about how fast I'm growing up ;) hehe
    re: i totally, totally agree with you, which you agreed with me, so I guess i agree with myself, which makes sense since I wrote it in the first place . . . gosh, i'm just confusing myself now. anyway, thank you. lol


    2 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    HEHEHEH, IMMA GO AND WISH YOU A SECOND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! HOPE YOU CAN ENJOY YOUR VERY SPECIAL DAY!! ENJOY YOURSELF!!! <3


    2 months ago
  • barelybear

    HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY!!!
    Hope all your dreams and wishes come true <3

    And wow their house sounds beautiful. I would love olive trees and vines!! My dad is obsessed with growing stuff, but we kinda have to stick with potatoes and tomatoes and herbs. Oh yeah and he’s told me all about the double layered garden... do you mean the one where there’s a high layer, then a hidden fence, then the low layer? Lmao he wanted to try that but my mum told him he couldn’t dig up the garden like that ahah. I’m so glad you described it to me! I absolutely adore it! Hmm I guess I could describe you my grandparents’ places. One set live in an apartment, so there’s not a lot going on there, but the other set live on a farm in Wales. My dad grew up there and now my uncle runs it, and there house is at the top of a long drive. It’s a cute little cottage on a hill, with some sheep fields around that you can look at, and a view of the reservoir. They’ve done an alright job at making it look natural, but there are a lot of metal fences, and the cars near the reservoir, and the killing shed round the side (nightmare inducing once I figured out what it was for). But it kinda gives me shell cottage in Harry Potter vibes, except not on a beach ahah.
    Hope you have a great day anyways :D
    Go eat some cake!


    2 months ago
  • Coeur

    This is stunning!! I love your descriptions and prose, this is really beautiful. :))


    2 months ago
  • Lata.B

    Re- I hope you have such a great birthday!! Also thank you for your comment. I actually wrote more to my story!! I finally got the chance! :)
    If your up for a bit of reading please take a look! Again thank you for your comment! <3
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/206209/version/459885


    2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Re: oh my à bakery
    It has gotten even better
    And mountainnnnnn ananamajajz it seems so picturesque
    Half French yes I remember but I hadn’t matched up that it was you (off lmao that makes sense tho)
    Ahhhshaha 14 you have a plentiful life of words and wisdom ahead of you (says the one literally only a couple of years older)
    I should just rearrange the words then I sound like smart yoda
    Ahhhhh 14 plentiful life you have of words ahead you and of wisdom mhmm


    2 months ago
  • remi'sgotinkstains

    sorry I haven't really been active . . . just a little busy currently! ;)


    2 months ago
  • remi'sgotinkstains

    BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL!
    and happy 14 bday! I still can't believe you're only 3 days older than me! like what??????????????
    all the love from your scribble chum blueberry! (yeah, i'm obesessed with blueberries sorry)


    2 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    OMCCCC, THIS IS SOOOO GOOOOODDDDD~!!!!! AHHHH!!
    so majestic and beatifulll!!! i literally am drooling over this!! <3

    AND ENJOY YOU'RE LAST DAY AS A THIRTEEN YEAR-OLD!!!! ;)


    2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Two things to address here:
    1. Ahhhhh congrats on 60 followers!!! Proud mama bear
    2. OH MY GOSHNESSS! I LOVE THIS PIECE! It’s incredibly stunning, and every line drips with a beautiful tone and the most decadent word choice I have seen in forever. I can’t do one of those “my favourite line” things, because I would literally have to quote THE ENTIRE PIECE. Your poetry voice is so mature and did I mention the word choice? I am such a sucker for word choices. This is divinityyyyyy. Shatter me and glue me back together because this piece just blew me away

    But of course I’ve also got to cut through the compliments (incredibly well-deserved, though they may be) with
    Re: DID YOU JUST SAY FRANCE?
    I swear it’s like those drug sniff dogs as soon as anyone says France I am hYpeD. Weird analogy but seriously agshjaja lucky ducky having family there.

    No way it’s your birthday tomorrowwwwnajajkaa
    Ima have to remember to comment and then when you wake up it will be there (yay time difference)


    2 months ago
  • Lata.B

    The best works are done at night and you have proved that right. This is so beautiful. and the title caught my eye right away
    Oh also happy early birthday to you<3


    2 months ago