abi's pov

United States Minor Outlying Islands

WtW's resident disappearing act

in love

she/her

tbh, i forgot exactly when i joined

Message to Readers

first big announcement: 95 people are following me now, and that's weird. stop, please unfollow me lol. i don't- just stop haha. on a real note, thank you! you all are pog.
i rlly want to re-do my dust jacket, so bcus of 95 followers, i'm going to be doing that. if there is any question you want to ask, comment it, ig. no pressure to, ofc, but if there's some side of my personality you rlly js ~need~ to know about, ask :)
yeah, that's it; thank you for 95 followers!
everything below this is just mindless rambling, so you can ignore it.

hee-hee,

uhhh, GIRLS, amiright?

cowboys scare me, but they're also kinda cool, ig.
they wear boots and so do i, so i think if i met a cowboy we could relate on the boot wearing level, but our boots are different cus i wear knock-off docs, but they wear cowboy boots, so boot discourse could be started, i dunno.

chai lattes are ruining my life

anywho,
stay safe, stay cool,
ur sleepy WtW older sis

and my hands were not holding yours | semi-important message board announcement

February 18, 2021

FREE WRITING

9
how does she make you feel?

miserable, i guess,
but also brave.

she paints me an Icarus shade of courageous;
daring, but foolish.

    i'm not sure how i felt that night;
    the rain pouring around us as we sat on that abandoned lifeguard shack,
    surrounded by no one,
    finally our own.

        i used to be so in love;
        she was the only thing i thought about on some days.
        with anyone else, i'd be scared i missed something,
            so why does only she make me feel brave?
            
            she makes the not-knowing comfortable;
               
do you love her? 
                                    no, and yes. i love her in the way that waves love to crash against rocky headlands;
                                                        cliche and wild and broken and all too familiar with this feeling, this confliction.
                        
            she does not need me to be in love with her;
            no one does,
                                but it's different with her;
                                i've met people who are more akin to mythical sirens than lovers.
                                there is no gravitational pull to her;
                                            with her, love lies in the choice;
                                                                               it is soft and gentle, never forced,
                                                                                but it is present for the making.

        with anyone else, i'd bury these feelings into the dark corners of my backpack,
            reminding myself of past pretty girls who made me feel like a dying star,
            forcing myself to run back into their arms;
            she makes those conflicted, painful feelings tangible;
                they're a tangled mess of fear and grief and loneliness and dying stars,
                but with her, they're present, real, valid,
                or, at least, they're allowed to be.

    i'm not sure how i felt that night;
    the rain drenching my favorite t-shirt
    as i told her about people who made my heart ache and the revolutions i wanted to start;

    i buried my heart under that lifeguard shack;
    beating and all alive.
    
sometimes, i can still feel the aching place where it used to rest.
someone please take away the semi-colon key

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10 Comments
  • anemoia (#words)

    ahhhhhh how can this be so marvelous


    about 2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    (I'm not actually impulsive almost ever so enjoy/bemoan it while you can XD)


    about 2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    I'm back rereading this masterpiece. K this is random but sometimes your message boards remind me of the internal monologue of a book character I'd enjoy reading about? Gosh only a writer/bookworm would think something that bizarre and probably only I am actually impulsive enough to tell you


    about 2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyyyyy goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    thissssssssssssss

    issssssssssssss

    too gooddddddd

    i cantttttttttttttt

    ;;;;;;;

    (and if i take away your semicolon key, you have to take away mine. i'm holding you to this *squints*)


    about 2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    "she paints me an Icarus shade of courageous;
    daring, but foolish."
    Okay it's FINE just use a common literary allusion and smack it at us so hard we think it's the first time we've heard the story.
    " i've met people who are more akin to mythical sirens than lovers.
    there is no gravitational pull to her;
    with her, love lies in the choice;
    it is soft and gentle, never forced,"
    Oh. I'm not sure what to think about this lovely part. *rethinks my life*
    " but with her, they're present, real, valid,
    or, at least, they're allowed to be.
    Oh... so sweetly gorgeous it hurts.
    HOW did I somehow not see this piece until now?? It's so freaking incredible.


    2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Awww thank you!!


    2 months ago
  • Mespotz

    Why do I keep re-reading this... it's perfection.


    2 months ago
  • Mespotz

    This is beautiful. Simply beautiful. And the footnote made me laugh. Great job!


    3 months ago
  • Coeur

    This is AMAZING and beautiful... I'd point out all the wonderful lines but abby.a already did a great job at that. This is just...so gorgeous and well written. And the writing form is great too, it's really visually pleasing as well as being great to read. I'm here for your cowboy discourse as well.


    3 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    "she paints me an Icarus shade of courageous;
    daring, but foolish."
    "she does not need me to be in love with her"
    "no, and yes. i love her in the way that waves love to crash against rocky headlands;
    cliche and wild and broken and all too familiar with this feeling, this confliction."
    three of my favorite lines from on of my favorite pieces. UFUJK i can't even describe how utterly amazing this is. also, the footnotes.... same...


    3 months ago