TerenNeret

Malaysia

she/her
I'm a writer. Reader. Piano player. Survivor watcher. Food lover. Hair braider. Hat wearer. Over analyser. Hufflepuff-er. Also a glow-worm in my free time.

Message to Readers

Whilst I was never into ballet, I often am in awe of the dedication and energy my younger self had as she juggled ten thousand extracurriculars and a social life. Just a quick reminder that we aren't less than for not being able to do as much as we did when we were younger. Getting through the day is good enough. RIP all our childhood passions.

pointe

February 19, 2021

Up until the age of thirteen, my feet belonged in ballet shoes, pastel pink on pink with ribbons twisting up the sides. Once the school bell rattled its final note, I'd be too busy pulling up ballet tights (which always stretched too little) to notice my classmates run home or to the playground instead of the dance studio. By 3:45pm, my sinewy hamstrings would be warm from the pliés done at the barre and Madame Evelyn's razor-sharp corrections. Draw the ribs in! Square the hips! Don't jut your chin forward- we are not chickens, we are ballerinas! My legs flexed to the hammering piano keys instead of a heartbeat. My thoughts a running list of reminders that raced as quickly as the dreaded exercises across the floor. My toes arched like the curve of the bun pinned and anchored down to my scalp. Day in, day out, one and a half hours for six days a week. Whilst my classmates prided themselves on staying up after midnight or passing a level of the brightest video game, my heart soared when I completed a triple pirouette, got fitted into my first pair of pointe shoes, performed under the blazing stage lights. 

Like most childhood joys, my vigour for the hardwood floors and the beautiful precision slowly unravelled. Each time I unlaced the pink ribbons, academic pressure and weariness would lace back up my muscles. One missed class spiralled into seven, into fourteen, into thirty, into for the foreseeable future. Whilst I might not return to the amber ground that always caught my jetés when I landed, the beat still follows me along the cracked pavements on the way to school. I turn my back to the theatre lights for the everyday world that is now my stage. 
 

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6 Comments
  • sophie_simile

    Wow. This is so beautiful, and struck me emotionally. I have been struggling with letting go of ballet, I took classes all the way up until high school, and I still miss it, even though I've moved onto other activities. "Whilst I might not return to the amber ground that always caught my jetés when I landed, the beat still follows me along the cracked pavements on the way to school." I really love this line, it brings peace as a reminder that our past passions/experiences will always be a part of us. Thank you for writing this.


    3 months ago
  • _Delphiruns2theocean_

    Omg! This is extremely relatable, though I'm not a dancer, I feel the exact same way with my soccer team. 6 days a week for 2 hours though plus morning Zooms twice a week for core before school. Pre pandemic we didn't have the morning Zooms but even longer practices, if you don't mind is it okay if I use this idea, like the going straight to a sport part of it, with credit of course? :)


    3 months ago
  • Ava Marie

    I love this so much, as a dancer myself I can appreciate all the hard work people put into it. This line: "Each time I unlaced the pink ribbons, academic pressure and weariness would lace back up my muscles." I loved and can totally relate to, also the last line was perfect!


    3 months ago
  • GraceWritesTheWorld

    Wow, I dunno why this hit me so hard. But I cried Lol


    3 months ago
  • BriRiley

    This is beautiful! I especially like the last line! XD


    3 months ago
  • TerenNeret

    oh whoops, I forgot to mention that the prompt I chose was: write about something that you’ve had to leave behind (~wildflower~)


    3 months ago