McK13

United States

Hi :) 14 she/her

I love...

Poetry, Memoirs, Stories (and all literature!)
Labradoodles, Family & Friends
Basketball & Volleyball
Listening to music, watching TV, & sleeping

Joined WTW: 12/30/2020

Thank you so much for 60+ followers!

Message to Readers

Hi! Thank you so much for checking out my piece! First, I just want to explain this piece a little bit. So yesterday, I was taking a digital survey and they asked me to choose only one for the race/ethnicity category. I got kind of angry considering the fact that I'm biracial. Anyways, I ended up choosing the "Other" box so I wouldn't have to choose between Asian/Pacific Islander and White/Caucasian but then I realized that I had basically given up on both halves of me and acted as if I weren't proud to be biracial. So in this piece, 50/50, I had my phone/the survey kind of become the lady behind the desk. Anyways, I hope that makes some sense!

Give me any feedback -- all criticism is very welcome, appreciated, and super helpful to me! Have a fantastic day :)

50/50

February 23, 2021

FREE WRITING

9
My racial identity has been classified as 50/50. 
It's a pain to have to fill out paperwork that only allows me to check one box
that says "Race/Ethnicity (Choose only one)" at the top.
The lady at the desk says "You look more brown than white, pick the Asian one". 
I step back for a minute, trying not to explode,
but instead of correcting her,
I simply composed myself, ignoring her comment that I should have addressed.
I should have been enraged, but I am just a teenage girl,
and who would I be if I were to confront a woman, a stranger who offended my simple being?
Wait, what? 

I should have advocated for myself and my family, 
but I chose an alternative as I released a breath to stay calm and turned to look at the paper. 
"She is trying to convince you to choose your mother's heritage over your father's", I told myself, silently in my head, "Don't let her. You are a 50/50 combo of your two parents. So why should you have to choose one over the other just because you look more like your mother? You are equally both. There's no such thing as which one you are most". 
So I silently picked up the pen to cross out those mistaken words, "Choose only one" to then fill in both the "Asian/Pacific Islander" and "White/Caucasian" circles.
But before I could, there she stood over my shoulder about to roar like a lion, tearing up its prey.  
My identity, culture, simply my birth and upbringing were hers to strip apart as she used her knife-like words 
to slice through my confidence of being a creation of the combination of both my mother and father. 

"Oh my gosh, just choose 'Other' and please, leave my office", she ordered like I was a malleable object, a small piece of clay she could sculpt and mold 
The lady reacted faster than I did even though she was in the wrong, using very inaccurate and harsh statements 
I stared down at the paper once more, only looking directly at the one circle at the bottom; "Other" it read
"No, do not do this.
'Other' is for people who do not know who they are.
People who are not proud of who they are.
You are proud of yourself and you know what two halves make up the beautiful you", I told myself again. 
Gripping the sheet in my left hand, I wanted to crumble it up and throw it in the trash can.  
I don't need to fill out this stupid paper for whatever documents they need to keep of me so I can become their accessory.  
But then I grasped the black ballpoint pen and filled in the "Other" spot without a word to the woman who persuaded me to not choose between a half of me
but choose neither of me. 
 
Now I was a mystery.
My bloodstream without a history. 
Even though I only know the birthplace of my mother
And don't have any clue about half of my ancestry 
I still know some things.
But now, no one knows anything about my identity.
I gave up on both halves of me.
I'm labeled as "Other" without individuality.
Just a blip on the radar without a name, a face, a culture, a truth, a past, a future.
I wasn't even a victim to some false idea or broken method. 
No, I was nonexistent.
Sure, it was just a small microaggression when the lady behind the desk tried to convince me to choose one half of my identity, but it should never have happened. 

The woman won.
I lost.
The paper won.
I lost.
The system won.
I lost. 

 

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16 Comments
  • Nyla

    Awww, this piece has made me so sad and angry! I'm so so sorry you had to go through this and it is absolutely terrible! It never should have happened! The way you wrote this was so absolutely powerful and really made me feel for you. "She is trying to convince you to choose your mother's heritage over your father's" - that was such a powerful way to word it- plus the ending was simply amazing! I loved it! I hope one-day stupid papers can get updated to actually reflect people! RE: Awww thank you so so much!! You're literally the sweetest person ever and are always super supportive!! Thank you!! I literally can't even describe in words how much you've encouraged me (and I'm a writer so that means something!! XD) And thank you for commenting on the actual writing of it as well :) Aww, no- it was such a good piece! All your writing is very empowering and always focusing on picking yourself up and stuff which is the best!! And HAHA loll, I'm suuuuper competitive as well- like my friends get scared of me lol. And OMG yess! You need to watch The Office! It is just simply amazing! Oooh that is an amazing purchase! Lucky you! And haha yesss- it is sooo amazing! side note: how old is your brother (in a not creepy way XD and feel free to not respond to this if its a bit personal) cause that show is, to be honest pretty scary! Oooh awesome! My school went online just as we were about to do the really fun labs like dissecting a frog and stuff so all we got to do was this really boring chemical one! :/ Oooh, that's so awesome- was it hard? I always had no idea how people could actually make the sets and stuff- it just looked so intricate and challenging though I did love when our school would put on productions. I was part of my school's improv team before COVID! And haha- I'm in grade 10 right now, so 11 next year and to be honest, Drama is such a wildcard when it comes to averages so I really can't take it in grade 11 or 12 cause those marks matter for uni but thank you! And yeah- to be honest I feel like English depends soo much on the teacher cause last year it was my favourite class and now I hate it (my teacher's really mean lol). Also, spoken word is literally my favourite!! I love it sooo much!! Also omg wait- this is going to be hard (side note: our messages are getting so long LOLLL)
    Oh shoot! Seriously- more wishes is always the best!
    Ok
    1. Unlimited money (the world runs on money so this could literally do everything, end poverty, create world peace, etc.)
    2. Do I even need anything else now lol? Ok but I guess it would be to be able to write like Jane Austen or any of the really great authors. I love reading their books but whenever I try to write really fancy, it just comes out like a cringy teen novel XD
    3. To be really amazing in science- so like being able to find cures and things like that for problems that can’t directly be solved by money!
    (If you were asking wishes for more fantastical wishes then definitely being able to go to Hogwarts and having web shooters like Spiderman lol)
    What about you?


    6 months ago
  • ✧♬TwinklingLights♬✧

    oof. this is ouch
    like
    I'm angry.
    wow okay im furious
    lqehglrwfwrbflwe
    also AMAZING PIECE
    and speaking of fifty...
    heres fifty followers :D


    6 months ago
  • Minvra

    Oh my god. I was triggered the moment I read the first dialogue. I honestly thought for a second there was a receptionist that said that.

    I'm not biracial, at least not that I know. It's not the same thing, but I definitely know about not knowing much about my culture or a culture that maybe is apart of me? I don't know my biological ancestors so...
    Anyways, advocate for yourself. Do it for yourself. What matters is the next step you take. And the next.


    6 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    Re: Again, thanks so much!


    7 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    Re: WOW! Thanks so much, I am so excited for you to hear this.


    7 months ago
  • Lizzie R

    Re: Of course :) Let's just hope the future holds better things xx


    7 months ago
  • Lizzie R

    Re: ahh thank you so much! It means a lot :))) xx


    7 months ago
  • Lizzie R

    Re: You do too. You deserve so much better than what you're receiving and I hope at some point people realize how rude they're being and they realize the impact of their words.


    7 months ago
  • Lizzie R

    Re: Thank you so much! I've been trying to make the endings of my songs less boring and have them be a more interesting form of closure, so I've been playing around with different things :) xx


    7 months ago
  • Lizzie R

    Re: Awwww thank you so much!!! You're so sweet xx


    7 months ago
  • ChimChim_1

    Re: Aww, thank you. :3:3


    7 months ago
  • Just_A_Memory

    Re: Well, it's super well done! <3


    7 months ago
  • Lizzie R

    I'm so glad I'm not the only one who struggles with this kind of crap. I'm part Syrian and it makes things difficult. Stay strong and always advocate for yourself. You're so strong, you just have to believe it. I'm sending love and support your way :) xx


    7 months ago
  • ChimChim_1

    Stay strong girl, I and my sister are biological sisters, but we look nothing alike, and since we're adopted people always think we're lying ( I also got bullied for having brown skin and squinty eyes) Because I also have some Asian in me, but anyways them hater can FLUFF OFF. :3:3


    7 months ago
  • Just_A_Memory

    Always advocate for yourself! (Me saying this as if I do, but I struggle to advocate as well) That last part about winning and losing was so SAD


    7 months ago
  • nopenopenope

    dude. literally i'm furious

    WHO SAYS THAT TO ANOTHER PERSON LIKE, W H A T


    7 months ago