Peer Review by nathanharris (United Kingdom)

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The darling kite (with recording)

By: Isla Hutchins


https://soundcloud.com/isla-hutchins/the-darling-kite


A bundle of twigs,
Ties together with string,
Wrapped in soft cotton,
Acts like a wing.

Off to the runway,
With the rush of the breeze,
She's up and away,
floating above the trees.

So come on, darling,
Let's fly through the air,
Let's fly through the air,
Soar the sky, with no care,
We'll give the clouds, the last word,
When we're off, with the bluebirds,
Off with the blue birds, 
They're song will be heard.

She's filled with grace,
In every way,
The darling glider twirls,
A magnificent display.

Just a bundle of twigs,
Ties together with string,
Wrapped in soft cotton,
Acts like a wing.

So come on, darling,
Let's fly through the air,
Let's fly through the air,
Soar the sky, with no care,
We'll give the clouds, the last word,
When we're off, with the bluebirds,
Off with the blue birds, 
They're song will be heard.

 

oops! kinda messed up trynna upload something else. Anyway, I've recorded everything on this myself using logic pro, use headphones & enjoy!

Message to Readers

I'd love to get peer reviews and know what you think about this song!


Peer Review

It made me think of a warm, joyous day filled with the wonders of nature. The song is too short to appreciate the journey you're taking us on


'just a bundle of twigs' section has a lovely rhyme scheme. It really emphasises the light heart, warm feeling the song gives


You could implement more verses and lengthen the song further, perhaps using different dynamics and pitch you add to the feel of flying through the air.


Its a lovely idea, mellow and calming imagery of flight and nature. Keep in mind the ideas you're talking about in the song.


Reviewer Comments

Perhaps in the verses you could talk about different things you see whilst flying