mirkat

United States

she/her│infp-a
est. 10/15/20

"take me with you, finished thing"
"too dizzying to love anywhere
but from a distance"

have an ineffable day!

<3<3<3

Message from Writer

thanks to paisley blue, rwong, wisp, and crystalline galaxies for all the love and support.

scribble chums with remi'sgotinkstains, useless :), and Starlitskies.

i think i'm a broken umbrella?

take a deep breath and
let tomorrow dissolve
into today;

nail polish

February 18, 2021

FREE WRITING

12

i. meant to be
kyra always told me not to bite my nails
   but i can’t help dragging the old habit
      with me everywhere i go;
bits of milky purple flake onto my tongue
   and i swallow
      the collage of what once was;
mary shoved the bottles of lacquer
   (“sounds dignified, better than nail polish and
      my mother never lets me forget that 
         i must act like a lady even though i left 
            her house ten years ago and never looked back”)
   into my sweaty hands and i accepted
      without question because i knew she had
         her reasons as i have mine;

ii. sugarplum fairy
she drove and i painted, 
   my hands propped up on the glove compartment;
four bottles, four shades of purple, four reasons
   to stay in her car all night long;
mary didn’t ask and i didn’t answer;
her silence was enough
   and so she drove and i leaned my head against
      the cool window pane;
the delicate glass was the only divide
   between my past and my future;
i laugh now because the window sported 
   a shatter-proof seal of approval;
if only it were that easy to guarantee 
   that the past stayed and the present left 
      and the future awaited in some star studded city
        halfway across the world;

iii. lucky lavender
this whole situation seems so cliche;
you’ve seen it in a thousand movies
   where a person catches a bus to nomansland, 
      where they shake their past 
         from their skin like shedding a jacket,
            where they remember a time when they didn’t
               know how to call themselves by their name;
but this is different, i tell myself;
i know who i am
   and i know where i’m going;
kyra would say it’s different because i’m
   a real person in a real world, but i know
      it’s because i have no patience
         for bus-stop realtors; 

iv. fifth avenue 
we can pretend it’s glamorous
   to sit on the side of the highway
      at nine twenty-six in the evening;
we can pretend i just got dropped off
   by my date and that i can’t stop touching my lips
         where he brushed against me in the restaurant; 
we can pretend a lot of things but all i really feel
   is the bitter chill of the desert night
      crawling into my tightly zipped jacket;
i’m all alone out here, save for a cactus or two;
and so concludes my first full day on my own,
   curled up with my backpack as a pillow
      on the waning heat of hard pavement
         somewhere in arizona;
ok first tell me if this is too long, i dont mind breaking up the little installments into smaller pieces. also things to improve? i really want to make this better... thanks so much.

part i. and part ii. if you missed them.

<3<3<3

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  • February 18, 2021 - 10:45am (Now Viewing)

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28 Comments
  • rwong

    re: awww tysm for ur super kind comment it made me smile <3 i actually wrote it last night super late bc i wasn't like sad sad, but just like kinda felt down as though nothing would go right and i was incapable to doing anything right anyway? idk i'm feeling much better today, writing to get things out of my system is a v effective way to feel better especially because poetry isnt judgmental, unlike friends (and sometimes thats why i think i just act like im perfectly fine bc i dont want them to see me like ...insane or smth) but yea i miss hugs toooo i'm the hugger among my friends and it's so weird not being able to for an entire year now. that's insane.
    but knowing that you're here makes me super super happy so thx <3 <3
    hru??


    3 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    re: yeah, i totally get that. my school is finally letting us back next week, even though it's only for 2/5 days, it's still better than nothing. hopefully my days won't be so.. monotonous anymore.


    3 months ago
  • Rose A(hiatus)

    Re: I don't know. I wear a lot of blue shades, but pink shades dominate my collection. Nail polish is about as "girly girl" as I get.


    3 months ago
  • Rose A(hiatus)

    This is stunning! I'm totally loving this! :) I can't even describe my awe of this and part ii. (haven't read the first one yet). Also... NGL, one of those colors is probably in my nail polish collection.


    3 months ago
  • rwong

    re: ahhhh issok yes we're all in this together *cue high school musical even tho i'm not the one obsessed w it, it's my sister* *sighs* but seriously if you ever need help or wanna talk im always here <3 <3 how's the day? other than math ofc because math just seems to always be a low in the day ahahaha


    3 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    re: ah, i'm really sorry. i kind of get you, though -- life is just there, not really doing much. it's like there's something we're really supposed to do with it, but that thing is so hard to find. i'm so glad my pieces can bring you happiness. if you ever need anything, i'm always here. hope you're doing alright.


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: arghgeag yesss the ending of we were liars blew my mind!! i remember, my friend had given the book to me in class and i was reading it through science (my science teacher last year was the best, she let me read whenever i got my work done and didn't judge my friend group for how wacky we were lol) and i finished it and (i think) audibly gasped...... it was so good!!

    yup, life tends to do that. glad you're good too, my friend :)


    3 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    i need to read the other parts as well, but wow this was gorgeous. it seemed fantastical and twisted and poetic all at once. just, great work.

    re: i’m doing reasonably alright. what about you?


    3 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    replying: awwww thank you so much. you have no idea how much that means to me. i'm so happy it made you feel something,i love hearing that i've impacted someone. yes thank you,i'm very happy<3


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: haha i love that!! :)) we went to chicago, it was so much fun!! we went for my 13th birthday to see Hamilton off of Broadway, but we did a bunch of other stuff too. idk i enjoyed it a lot :))
    i love being a person too, lol ;)) one of the things i've been thinking about a lot lately is what inspires my writing and poetry - like, Mary Oliver and Walt Whitman were mainly inspired by nature, and idk i guess i've just been wondering what it is that drives me to write - and i think i like to focus on human interaction, with each other and nature. like. how humans act and think and love and just all of that :)) how we affect the world and each other!! so that's totally along the lines of what you were saying lol :)) i know i've been impacted by everyone here, and i want to focus on impacting everyone else positively. you know? idk i might be totally rambling lol. sorry!!
    it's SO cool that you found books!!! :D i've heard of mrs. dalloway, but i haven't read it, but yes we were liars is SO GOOD ahhhhhh !!! and no, you're not weird at all for being happy about books - i'd think you were weird if you werent!! ;)
    hope you're having the most wonderful day!!! <33


    3 months ago
  • rwong

    re: ahahhaah i have a guess but idk if you want me to say it in the comment section for everyone to see but yea but that seems so niceeeeee argh now i wanna go but the next break isnt until spring break which is v :(
    also its kinda funny you said have fun at school cause im legit dying in math rn i have no idea what we're doing and my understanding is about a 0 which makes me vv sad...but then seeing ur comment made me smile and ehehe now im happy again so <3 <3
    how's ur day so far?


    3 months ago
  • BirdofPrey

    how is this level of talent possible???? one day you will publish the most successful book ever and by then we'll have met in person and we'll go get waffles to celebrate!


    3 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    This is such an amazing song and I really relate to it. You have so much talent - I am in awe of you; you give Ariana Grande a run for her money. If you maybe have time to peer review one of my songs, (the one I submitted for the competition is called 'Gatekeeper' - best of luck in the competition. Much love!


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    ALSO i hope this isn't creepy lol but i saw your comment on rwong's piece about you and ray wanting to start a lit mag???!?!? so cool!!! let me know what happens and if you ever need a poet/editor, i'm happy to help however i can haha :)) okokok sweet (day) dreams byee


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: ohh that's so cool!!! :D where did you go on your train ride?? ray sounds super cool, can't wait to *meet* her on here!! :) her pen name is so elegant - tell her your crazy online friend liked her poem lol
    ahh i'm honored that you noticed my line breaks!! they've always come fairly natural to me, just the rhythms of the words and the breathing and yeah idk. i've only just started to use semicolons, and i sorta model them off of what you've done - i'm sure you noticed the one at the end of the poem, that's totally inspired by you :)
    hope homework went well!! my sister and i just watched my mom and dad do a dance class so... now i can tango :P it's actually really fun XD
    happy happy day!!! <33


    3 months ago
  • rwong

    re: ahhhh i wanna go to the beach but we just went like last month over christmas and my parents are kinda worried it'll be really crowded with covid and all but seriously that seems like so much fun!!! ca beaches are amazing aside from the super duper freezing ocean but still like i wanna goooo take me next time ;DD also the litmag sounds suppperrr cool you better update me on that and how it's going etc etc ok yea and also today i just did some hw and practiced piano and played with my dog...yea pretty chill for me but its goin pretty good and also also ooo i can't wait to meet your friend when she joins :)) anyway yea sending love <3 <3


    3 months ago
  • Love, Rose

    this is stunning and i don't think this is too long at all


    3 months ago
  • rwong

    re: LOLLLLLLL ok but seriously that's hilarious ahahahaha i can't really bring myself to do that but that is another thing on the list of reasons why you're awesome. aside from the fact that that list is super long and i'm sure will continue to grow <3 <3 also tysm for your super kind comment (as always) it means a lot to me and makes me smile every timeeee also also it is so cool that you get to read the news!! we don't order it so it's all online for me but i think its a lot cooler on paper. what's ur fav sections?? also also ofccc i'll update you on the lit mag status when they contact me back!! wow i say also too much dont i? anyway yeaa good night, sleep well, happy valentines day, happy presidents day, etc etc etc see you tomorrow? i hope so <3
    all my love, shell <3 <3 <3


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: okay first of all thank you so so so much!! i'm insanely glad you liked it because idk it really was inspired by the feels and images your poetry gives me so i kinda just took a deep breath and wrote and that's what came out? idk? anyways. really relieved you liked it :) also i totally loved that in your first comment you said that "yellow brick road" and "nightfall" were your favorites and then in your next comment it was "boarding pass" lamppp i didn't know what i was going to write when i started that one, but then i thought of a train and just went from there. i based it (loosely - just the setting, really) off of the train i went on. it was 2 years ago for my birthday, we went to chicago. if you've never been on a train, they're so much fun!!! i really enjoyed it. it was very peaceful. we sat in the passenger car where there were little tables and the windows went up to the ceilings and we could watch the land pass - and we started early in the morning, so the descriptions of the sunrise and clouds and the smell of the air were completely from my memory of being at the station. oops i just realized how long of a tangent this has been - i just came to thank you for your comments lol XD well thank you thank you thank you i'm so glad you liked it!! <33
    i just read the love letter project, it's so cute!!! i noticed that Viktoria Elessar mentioned you - do you know her in real life or on here or whatever - that's so cool!! i think sunnydew *might* have done it but i didn't ask her pen name so i'm not actually sure lol :]
    semicolons are a wonderful punctuation ;) i mean, how else would i make winky-face emojis??!??! but seriously, they just add so much - and i'm more accustomed to em-dashes myself, just because i was kind of taught that semicolons were for formal instances, but now i'm learning how to work with them more, and they're so different in poetry, like not really formal at all. it's so cool!!!
    anyways i have to go to bed lol byeeeeee hope we can chat more tomorrow!! <33


    3 months ago
  • rwong

    re: hallo mirrrrr omygosh hiii it's the weekend !! and you're on !!!!!! i'm kinda struggling w course selection which sucks (it's super complicated) and trying to balance writing and attempting not to be lazy but seriously its the long weekend and i just wanna. be. lazyyyyy. ok lol yea ehehee also kinda nervous about the poem for the school contest cause idk if it's good enough and yea...yea ok imma stop talking now.
    anyway enough about me
    how are youuuu??


    3 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    this is absolutely outstanding and i don't wish to tarnish it with my less than exemplary words. just know you did an AMAZING job with this.

    re: i'm doing alright, i just needed to take a little break. i have missed it though, more than i realized. it's so great to be back. how are you doing? do you prefer to be called em wilder now, or do you still go by mirkat? :]


    3 months ago
  • rwong

    omygosh mir this took my breath away it's amazingg there's like a story line and also your title!! how do you come up with such amazing titles??? and write like this?? it's amazing i love the whole concept of this collection <3 <3 and yea i'm with paisley your use of semicolons is really blooming and i love love love it
    ps. def not too long & pps. i'll write a review for this (hopefully soon!)


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    also (argh sorry for the number of comments i can't seem to stop reading this) i love your use of semi-colons - it's so natural and yet new and it fits the poem perfectly. the characters are so brilliantly real it's startling - and the settings, the details.....

    okay i promise i'm done now

    (maybe)


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    i keep coming back to this - it's breathtaking. i'm completely serious this is one of the best poems/collection of poems i've ever read. wow


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    oh mir this is beautiful.... i have to say, i feel like the climax of the piece is the first couple lines of fifth avenue. or maybe it's just that titling it fifth avenue makes it real and familiar and i can see the streetlights and feel the wind -

    i'm a little bit in awe right now. how do you do it?? you're amazing. your poetry is amazing! this... this is so amazing!!!!!!! wow <333


    3 months ago
  • ANSON REYNOLDS

    read pt i and pt ii and ADORED THEM - I really likeed all the car names for pt ii, it was such a great way to show time passing and keep it cohesive


    3 months ago
  • ANSON REYNOLDS

    I totally missd pt i and part ii--- PROBLEM. this was wonderful, really fantastic job


    3 months ago
  • Zirong

    I don't think it's too long! When put together I feel it's more complete and there are more rise and fall in this piece which make it more intriguing! Part iv. is my favourite!!! Sorry that I can't give any constructive feedback now because I think it's really marvellous. But I'm definitely gonna re-read this and I'll comment again if I ever figure out anything that you can improve on :)


    3 months ago