CowsinTrees

Ireland

To the Girl at the Orthodontist

February 11, 2021

You stand there at the threshhold
With a face that feels half numb
Your mouth aches red and painful
Probing new holes in your gum
 
Now it really just annoys you
That he always calls you ‘petal’
But with a lisp – no argument
You force a smile through metal
 
Traintracks in your mouth
And things are going south
You’re going places
 
This whole thing’s unexpected
This whole growing up’s reflected
In your braces
 
You stand there in your thinness
Like an adolescent swan
By the time you know it’s virtuous
Your thinness will be gone
 
So have a mid-teen crisis 
If that helps with this at all
Cut off your plaited hair and tape
Nirvana posters to your wall
 
Traintracks in your mouth
And things are going south
You’re going places
 
This whole thing’s unexpected
This whole growing up’s reflected
In your braces
 
Your family will annoy you
You’ll be scared by all these feelings
The disco will be your escape
But ‘that top’s too revealing!!’
 
You might find pain or love there
Not like screen time in the movies
But act like there’s ten minutes left
To grab your heart and groovy
 
Traintracks in your mouth
And things are going south
You’re going places
 
This whole thing’s unexpected
This whole growing up’s reflected
In your braces
 
 

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  • February 11, 2021 - 2:29am (Now Viewing)

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29 Comments
  • books4life

    love this so much! the rhyme scheme is perfection :)


    7 months ago
  • Grigo

    Nothing to say I just love it and can relate to it so well!


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    re: no problem! <3


    7 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: thanks so much and no worries about late replies - I am very guilty of that too. Look forward to seeing more of your writing :D


    7 months ago
  • Zirong

    I agree with Sophiascb -- this is so clever! I really look forward to reading more from you! :)


    7 months ago
  • sophiacriesoverabook

    I love this, especially the repeated lines. Traintracks.. going south, so clever!


    7 months ago
  • Chloe_Cat

    This is incredible! I absolutely love this!


    7 months ago
  • aalawrites

    Amazing work!!!!!!! Love this! <3


    7 months ago
  • astrea

    Re: you are welcome and congrats on Wednesday words too!


    7 months ago
  • rwong

    congrats on wednesday words!!!


    7 months ago
  • SunV

    Wow! This is amazing! I got my braces off a week ago, and my retainers in last night (they hurt!!) so I can relate on a spiritual level to this.

    Congrats on Wednesday words!!


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Congrats on Wednesday Words! It reminds me of a song called Braces by Jetta Juriansz ;) Awesome!


    7 months ago
  • WrenBirdWrites

    WOW!!!! I LOVE THIS!! As a girl who had braces for two years, this is really cool I feel like you described a girl who I met at the orthodontist actually Lol Love it! <33


    7 months ago
  • Avril

    This is incredible wow! Such a unique idea and the rhyme is flawless!
    "By the time you know it's virtuous/Your thinness will be gone" -Love this line!!


    7 months ago
  • Ellington Stone

    Re: No problem, you too


    7 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: You're welcome!


    7 months ago
  • cosmosconstructor

    So beautiful!! It reminds me of David Bowie's song "Life on Mars", especially the title. Great job and keep it up!


    7 months ago
  • sci-Fi

    wow, okay, i love this. Congrats on Wednesday Words!


    7 months ago
  • Rose A

    This is so great! I can't even describe it. And it's incredibly relatable to me(yay braces) Congrats on Wednesday Words! You deserve it. :)


    7 months ago
  • kathryn siena

    this is amazing! congrats on wednesday words!


    7 months ago
  • Ellington Stone

    Oooh, this is really good. I like how it flows super well. Congrats!!


    7 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Wow, this is very good! I love the extended metaphor. Congrats!
    And welcome to Write the World! If you decide to stick around, here's a tip that'll help you start out: If you want to reply to a comment on your piece, go to the other person's most recent piece and type "Re:" and then your reply. Feel free to come to me if you have any questions. :)


    7 months ago
  • lucyjoneswrites

    Fantastic poem, congratulations on Wednesday words and welcome to Write the World!


    7 months ago
  • CowsinTrees

    Thanks guys your comments are so kind! :)


    7 months ago
  • AstroWriter

    I love this! Congrats on the pick and finalist!


    7 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Love this! Congrats on being a finalist <3 Gosh when I was younger I soo wanted to have braces, but I luckily never got them.


    8 months ago
  • astrea

    wonderful lyrics! congrats on being a finalist!!


    8 months ago
  • wavewriter

    100% agree with Parisienne! I love the rhymes in this song. Congrats on being a finalist!


    8 months ago
  • Parisienne

    This is amazing! Sums up being a teenager and having braces soooo well! <3


    8 months ago