barelybear

United Kingdom

she/her, INFJ-A
musicals
fantasy/dystopian fiction
piano
life goal = becoming fluent in le français
☕️
est August 2020
community ambassador alum :D
They tell me I’m 16 but I’m sceptical
the squirrel is back!!

Message to Readers

General feedback would be great. This was an impulsive piece, so I would be very interested to hear what you thought of it.

Little China Doll

February 9, 2021

FREE WRITING

7

Hid behind clever so
Couldn’t make errors deep
Down swarmed a dark cloud of
Constant critique.

Cold, calculating the
Fear populating my 
Mind and my mouth so I 
Just couldn’t speak. 

Course I remembered the 
Swan story Mum said it’s 
Gliding above over
Terrified feet.

So now when I’m stressed about 
Instant success I will 
Tell myself even a
Swan can feel weak. 
 
I liked the wonky rhythm of a dactylic poem (yup, there’s a fancy name for everything sigh). I wanted to give it a go, and weeelllllll this happened.
It’s okay to feel weak. Our society needs to stop with the perfectionist facades and start addressing our deep-rooted problems <3

Print

See History
  • February 9, 2021 - 8:04am (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

7 Comments
  • Nyla

    RE: Awwwww thank you so so so much!!! I’m so glad you liked it and thank you, your support means a lot! And aww I’m so glad something I wrote will stick with you!! And thank you again- your comment was so sweet! <3

    Now onto the extreeeeemely long message:
    Hmmmm yeah, it was a very unique compared to what I’ve seen on WTW (in a good way of course!) But it is definitely worth continuing (obviously only if you enjoy it lol) And oooh that’s so cool you’ve planned it out!! You have all the bones if you ever want to continue it now!

    And mmmmm sounds yummy! Why are you the best at coming up with these things?!!1 It’s not fair!! Ok, my turn, you got to be a dark chocolate with marzipan chunks to acknowledge your Britishness! Aww, go and get some right now! I had some last night heheh!
    And HAHAH! Noooo they’re two different companies!! LOLLL, but yess, Marvel is wayyy better! The characters are so much more charismatic and it’s just awesome!

    LOLLL- yes it takes sooo long to eat! Although, were you ever able to eat it with braces? It seems like enemy capital one!
    And what do you meannnn?? Nooo, I love them sooo much!! But I mean, I guess I have more memories than taste associated to them (they always marked the final treat at a tube station after a long day traipsing museums in London)
    And HAHAH lolll yeah- everyone here loves Hersheys!!
    And HAHAH now- all it does is prove English snobbery (I’m just kiddddding!!! I don’t mean it at all!!! You’re so fun to talk to!)
    And yess they are and hahah yes- they are sooo expensive so only for special occasions (and all that does is make me want them more!) haha, I was going to say a white chocolate Toblerone is yummy heheheh. Ok, in all seriousness though, I do really enjoy dark chocolate as well and maybe when I’m older I’ll forsake white chocolate but I guess I’m just too youthful (we’re going to go with that word) for now
    And HAHAHAH lolll, I always think that too!

    Yess I know you have years, I’m trying to slowly americanize you but insisting on using the lingo here! (What are you talking about- English was definitely invented here and Britains stole it from us XD)
    And ooh I didn’t know what it’s called but that’s what I meant. It like sorts you into what high school you can do (I’ve forgotten a bit exactly- my cousins either did it a few years ago or are super young) And ooh yes, haha, I just have to do exams made by my specific teachers!
    Ooooh history is so interesting! And aww, so lucky your mum wants you to do that! I told my mum I wanted to do a minor in English lit and she literally just told me no XD (ok, in all seriousness though it’s not her fault. She got a masters in poli sci from LSE and worked in the gov for a bit but then moved here and looked after me and my sisters for years and so she doesn’t have a job now and is very against me or my sisters pursuing a social science because they "don't lead to jobs") LOLL- I read your whole comment before I started replying so I know you started rethinking everything lolll. No, it’s a good degree to have if you’re going to use it well- my best friend wants to become a lawyer! And oooh, that would be really great, I drowned myself in historical fiction books when I was younger!
    And yeah, definitely. Oooooh that’s sooo cool!!! I did Scouts too! But *sob sob* I never heard of a jamboree!! Aww that’s awesome you love Toronto and *huge gasp* you HAVE to return if you didn’t even go up the CN tower!!

    LOLLL, and yeah, it’s people who do that are just terrible. But tbh, law is just a lot of paperwork as well and you can easily get a government job with a law degree- so getting the degree will keep your options open!

    HAHA! Oh I’m so glad you used celsius!! When people say degrees in Fahrenheit I always have to search it up!
    Awww thank you! And yes I did! Hahah, I’m sure you’ll wrench out something amazing!

    HAHAH, a chef version of a Shakespeare play? And haha, I can’t attest to anything cause I haven’t read Macbeth yet- although I think I do next year! And haha, today I watched the 2013 version but yesterday I watched the one with Leo!!! (We have to do a “text to text” comparison- really “movie to movie” but it made for a super lazy two days!) And omg ahhh, young Leo just whoo! (Loll, that looks so weird to read but I hope you know what I meant XD) All the girls in class always swoon and the teachers know it too LOL. But tbh, me and my friends like the Romeo in the 2013 versions better, his name is, let me search it up, hang on, Douglas Booth. Ewww, wait, he only looks good in the movie!!! Oh Nooo-don’t you hate that? When actors have the audacity to look amazing in a movie and go off and idk just not be? Ew, anyways back to Leo- yes, amazing! (Although now he is s creepy!)

    Hahaha, I’m glad it made you laugh!! Also LOLL, ok I swear nobody but the elderly and young hockey jocks (who half the time are making fun of it) say “eh” or “oot” But LOLL that made me laugh so hard! Yes, you definitely would!

    Ahhh no- you're really going to pull me on a string? *sob* And haha nice! Was it mandatory computer science? Or a class you decided to take?

    Thank youuuuuuuu- hope your English teacher blesses you with one soon!
    (Since I assume you’ll see this in the morning) Good morn it is that graces these heavens so, quick, some tea you must set to boil before your English bleeds out” -LOL idk what that was (a mix between Shakespeare and British I guess? XD)
    Anywaysss have a great day!!!
    Nyla <3


    6 months ago
  • Nyla

    I love the message of this poem- it's so true! "Fear populating my/Mind " was idk, it just flowed so beautifully over two lines! And the last line just wow, "even a swan can feel weak", like that is powerful and using "swan" just gives so many great connotations and adds so much depth!
    HAHA, why does everything have a fancy name? why can't it just be called a poem? *dramatic back of hand to face* But in all seriousness, I loved the rhythm of this poem! Maybe I should try one of those pterodactyl (not a typo) poems sometime?


    6 months ago
  • BriRiley

    I love this! You are a really talented writer.


    7 months ago
  • ArtisticCatbird2020

    Definitely a wonky read, but I love it! I was confused when you first mentioned the swan, but that last line ties everything together nicely. Great work!


    7 months ago
  • Zirong

    wowww I love the rhythm so much! This is so interesting! :D


    7 months ago
  • bookmagic

    Wonky rhythms are the best! Oh and of course it's okay to feel weak, this poem does a great job of showing it as well.


    7 months ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    I have no idea when you put that pfp on but that squirrel is almost as adorable as an otter. just sayin (thats saying a lot imo) lol have a nice daiii


    7 months ago