Yellow Sweater

United States

(Formerly Zinniav)

I'm 17, interested in linguistics, mathematics, philosophy, theology, and history.

She/ Her | Bi | Disabled | Agnostic | Useless Intellectual | WA

I don't necessarily agree with my own assertions.

Message to Readers

I would love some help with flow. The ideas feel a little disconnected.

To Desire the Goddess

February 14, 2021

FREE WRITING

25
The methodology of beauty:

between piano chords, we listen to the rain fall. It splashes into the river. I am gone, lost through holes knife-point whittled into a set of reed pipes, lost to the rising wetland water. Each heart-beat is scattered, coordinated like a flight of swallows. 

Homesexual romance is like a broken mirror. Two friends, two lovers, miss-matched comedies and tragedies. You’re my better half, seen through a raindrop, wobbling with delicate viscosity and falling with perfect arrowdynamic slant. 

Our bones are one. Our flesh is separate and stinking with perfume. In a series of dancing angles, we break like silk. We share our breath, our dream-scarred cigarette smoke, our deep-belly sorrow, through the sacred gate of our lips.

To love is to desire the goddess, to lose yourself between beats.

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11 Comments
  • Minvra

    Dang, I'm not the best at drawing but I might have some inspiration to try drawing out what I imagined. I don't know my sexuality oof. I like homosexual romance and heterosexual (but that doesn't equate to realism of a relationship). I'm just reading fanfiction with Marceline and Bonnibel lol.


    2 months ago
  • The Elephant In The Room

    Wow, absolutely beautiful


    3 months ago
  • rwong

    ok seriously this is amazing. like i can't really place what makes it so amazing but truly it's stunning. "You’re my better half, seen through a raindrop, wobbling with delicate viscosity and falling with perfect arrowdynamic slant." beautiful


    3 months ago
  • aaliyahh

    im speechless, the vocabulary is astonishing! your a very good writer


    3 months ago
  • ✧♬TwinklingLights♬✧

    wooooooooaaaaaaah this is awesome


    3 months ago
  • remi'sgotinkstains

    you're going to go on to do great things with your writing . . . I can just feel it. Stunning as always.


    3 months ago
  • Asteraceae

    This piece feels deep. Intimate. It reminds me of smoky rooms and the space between awake and asleep. I love the way it reminds me of other feelings.


    3 months ago
  • ANSON REYNOLDS

    "lost to the rising wetland water" this. It made me think of all the Indiana wetlands I've lost my shoes in, and I was very thankful for that.


    3 months ago
  • Zirong

    I really adore the delicacy of this piece...the second paragraph is just...wow I’m speechless now...


    3 months ago
  • amaryllis

    You mentioned that you're worried with the flow, but I kinda like that you can get lost in the poem, in a sense. If that is what you want to do though, I think you could maybe subtly lace more subtle music terminology? For instance, instead of "coordinated like a flight of swallows" you could say "conducted by a flight of swallows"? And then there are definitely some cool dynamic or bow technique terminology that you could incorporate in the middle two...idk like instead "perfect arrowdynamic slant" you could do "arrowdynamic diminuendo"... OH I JUST SAW THE DYNAMIC REFERENCE THERE, how clever! Might be cool to incorporate the word bridge where you said gate... im just blurting some thoughts, feel free to completely disregard because this is already gorgeous :)


    3 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    woah. i'm in awe over this piece. "Homesexual romance is like a broken mirror. Two friends, two lovers, miss-matched comedies and tragedies. You’re my better half, seen through a raindrop, wobbling with delicate viscosity and falling with perfect arrowdynamic slant." i seriously cannot get enough.


    3 months ago