rwong

United States

~average teen writer/poet~
Christian
lover of historical fiction books (especially WWII)
dog lover
pianist
musical lover

joined september 19, 2020

Message to Readers

ok i really hope this link works!!! also yea last time for publishing i promise. sending all my love to all of yall out there <3 -- how are y'all?
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aKviq4EcgV9CZXuODgLcsr2q7zDezitJ/view?usp=sharing

achromatically intertwined || footnotes & link in message board

February 19, 2021

FREE WRITING

7
Too often, we forget that life isn’t a black-and-white photograph:
It’s colored by “dream[s]… with [their] dreamer[s],”
Painted by the “patience, and… passion” of those who dared to “reach for the stars to change the world;”
Our lives are blanketed by the bright blue sky, so we forget we’ve been blessed by its chroma,
We turn a blind eye towards color but forget we’re not color blind; we’ve merely chosen to ignore it.
We know “our flag is red, white and blue,” but fail to realize “our nation is a rainbow,” 
Built on the ideals of democracy and equality, but on the backs of slaves
Chained to property, yet sold as property.
Our nation was created by those who struggled and fought for freedom, 
Their hearts of gold glimmers of hope in the darkest days, painting a brilliant legacy to illuminate our lives
These souls gave slaves a song to sing, while sowing sugarcane and seeds of sorrow,
Through labor they sang because “[songs can soothe sadness from an aching heart],”
For they might’ve been chained, but you cannot chain a voice;
They cultivated blues, coloring the sky and setting the stage for the emergence of shimmering stars,
Rooted in work songs and spirituals, flowering into brassy jazz with its syncopated rhythms,
So the stars and songs alike receive their due applause.
Yet still their voices have become a forgotten echo, their cries fading among mutable morals,
For too often, we fail to see that life isn’t just black and white, wrong and right
We ignore the grey area where our feet stand, and where too many issues land
Every misstep breeds another battle, so we forget we hold the power to build bridges instead.
We find ourselves entangled in a mess of policies, broken promises lacking apologies
We pride ourselves on perseverance, but fail to realize we run only in circles
Energy wasted on chasing our own mistakes, leaving us exhausted and breathless, and
Dizziness blurs our vision. Maybe, now it is time for us to pause,
For if we stop running in circles, the world still turns
Perhaps Earth’s rotation was created to wind threads around our souls
Intertwining us with those around the globe, joining our hands as one
For too often, we forget that our nation was woven together by different colors, with different colors, 
It’s a patchwork created by the pain of pricked fingers forever staining our past,
Yet we all bleed red, so shouldn’t that be enough for us to remember
That “all the threads of [a] tapestry are equal in value[,] no matter their color?”
ok ok so basically our school is doing a black history month spoken word poetry contest and this is my final draft *fingers crossed* please let me know your thoughts this poem feels kinda all over the place so all comments/reviews are super appreciated :)
and the hugest thank you to paisley blue and jmkittycat (special shoutout to her for spending hours editing after the peer review and coming up with title ideas -- you're the best!!) for their reviews!!!!!!

Quotes from:
  1. “Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” – Harriet Tubman
  2. “Our flag is red, white and blue, but our nation is a rainbow -- red, yellow, brown, black and white -- and we're all precious in God's sight.” - Jesse Jackson
  3. “A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.”  – Maya Angelou
  4. “It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength. We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of that tapestry are equal in value no matter their color. – Maya Angelou

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  • February 19, 2021 - 1:20am (Now Viewing)

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16 Comments
  • SunV

    Also... This piece is amazing!!! I read the initial version, which was beautiful on its own, and this is spectacular!!


    2 months ago
  • SunV

    Re: Hey rwong!!! I'm so sorry for the late reply, I haven't been very active lately (just needed a bit of a break).

    hmm.... Hamilton and a bio test? Not a good combo. I am currently listening to non-stop high school performances-- I like listening and judging the Angelica/Eliza duet part in the end.

    How did your bio test go? I hope it went well!

    Write like you're running out of time!


    2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: oh my GOODNESS i am so happy for you!! i knew it!! i knew it i knew it i knew it!! this was brilliant and i'm so proud of you!!! :D you're an inspiration to me as well and i'm so glad i have gotten to know you. so. YAY!!!
    what else is new? how are you doing? :)


    2 months ago
  • mirkat

    re: ah, shell, i'm sorry. no matter how many rejections you get, it never gets easier to read that email... you get that sinking feeling and try to shrug it off but you worked hard and are so disappointed and sometimes frustrated. i've had like 5 rejections and it sucks. so i'm sorry. i also hate that my good news overlapped with your bad news! you are happy for the other person, of course you are, but underneath all that is maybe some bitterness and some disappointment. but next time, there is always a next time. thank you for the congrats! it was very surprising to me and i'm still reeeeeeling haha. like seriously i was like is that me? um okay.... i've decided to donate the money to a charity that erin (i wrote the review of her song) will choose because i want to do good and all and i dont need the money anyways. wellllllllll. i was thinking..... we love talking to each other (i think? i do) and all and you are such a fun person and all the support you give me has helped me write more and stuff. maybe we could exchange emails or something? if thats weird or uncomfortable for you please do not hesitate to tell me! will not be offended! alright well good night shell. dont let one rejection deter you! keep writing!
    <3<3<3


    2 months ago
  • mirkat

    re: congrattssssss shellllll that's amazing! i know you worked really hard and i'm so happpy for youuuu! i would be a little embarrassed in your position too but trust me, it's an amzing spoken word poem. thanks for ur congraulations! um what else? i ordered some ribbons on etsy (one is black velvet and the other is this dusty rose color) and i've been wearing them tied up in my hair and i love the new style. makes me feel fancy ha. oooh are you dark academia or cottagecore? i'm dark academia but have no clothes in that style whatsoever (besides the ribbons). sooooo that's fun i guess. how are you right now?
    <3<3<3


    3 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    re: oh my goodness, congratulations! you absolutely deserve everything for this piece. i'm so excited for you!


    3 months ago
  • mirkat

    re: ah, yeah, well it's good to have those public speaking tips for the future. blah, pe in person... yep that's not fun. i hate when we do units like soccer or volleyball or something and then the athletic people of people that actually do that sport are super good and the rest of us just stand around like how? life is fine, life is normal. i can't believe we passed 500,000 deaths... gosh. people i know are starting to get vaccines which is good and my parents have appointments for like next month or something. i won't have to stress over them now. reading a lot and going on walks and surviving spanish class, oh, i know! my poem "counting by 3s" got into potted purple's next issue and i'm pretty proud of it. they sent the rejection email first tho and then they were like jk we want it. ha. so i guess that's exciting. anyway. how are you doing?


    3 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    re: you’re welcome! if you need anything more, i’m always here.


    3 months ago
  • mirkat

    re: hey shell loved hearing from you! yesterday i went to the local park with my friend and we ate chocolate-covered pretzels and gave people not wearing masks the stink eye. and homework. don't forget that. ahhhhh good luck for the oratorical! when is it? i read thru tuffy's comment and wholeheartedly agree with them. try to loosen up. i suck at public speaking though so i know its hard. you can do it! how are you?
    <3


    3 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    As a tribute to wonderful followers like you I have started the series about my life. Please check it out, enjoy and give suggestions.


    3 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    okay, so that recording was absolutely fantastic. your confidence is so admirable, and it just feels like you know what you’re doing, that you’re not going to mess up because you have practiced it before. i can’t get over it. i want to listen to it again and again and let it seep into my soul and make a home there. great work. good luck in the competition! here’s some criticism (?) that i kind of thought of during the whole thing (if that’s what you need):
    performance notes:
    1. maybe make a note of some places you’d like to use different vocal levels. rank them on a scale of 1-10, 1 being quiet and 10 being loud, then think about how you want it to sound. going from loud to soft to medium and all of the things in between can be more powerful than anything. this creates drama and suspense, and keeps the listener interested, not just comfortable. in fact, don’t be afraid to make the listener uncomfortable; your piece is about heavy topics, so let it be heavy!
    2. there’s something we do in theatre class where we have to work to make something a character is saying hold meaning to us. it means to look at the big picture and communicate through your body what the playwright (or in this case, you, the poet) wants to convey, the lesson they want to teach. something that is recommended is going through the pledge of allegiance and saying it deliberately, not dramatically but meaningfully, truly taking in the weight of each word that is said. this helps you get in the right mindset to be passionate about your work.
    3. yet another thing we do in theatre class (watch me embarrass myself by mentioning it another thousand times) is word coloring. take a specific word, and think of the color you want it to be. maybe it’s violet — rich, dark, flowy, plum-flavored. or maybe it’s lilac — light, airy, pastel, lavender-scented. we usually use it when performing shakespeare pieces (same as when we use the vocal levels), so it may not work perfectly in this context, but it might give you something to think about and ponder.
    3. use your hands! i could tell that you wanted to and i think that paisley already mentioned it, but you’re allowed to use some movement of your body (including your head, shoulders, arms, etc. maybe stray away from feet, though, because then you risk looking nervous). it makes such an impact!
    4. when you have alliteration or rhymes or “this and this” statements (like “black and white, wrong and right”), really try to make those stand out. maybe pause between the words a little bit or emphasize them somehow, because that poetic work is so beautiful and needs to be acknowledged in your reading.
    piece notes:
    1. nothing! seriously, i think it’s all in the presentation now. your piece is absolutely stunning, shining, and sparkling. you said it’s a little bit all over the place, but i think i disagree; this is a piece of passion, and it isn’t meant to be organized into neat little sections that make sense. it’s meant to be powerful and raw and true, and that is what it is. i can’t get over it, either.
    i hope this helps some? i’m full of other ideas if you need them, so don’t hesitate to find me if you do!

    re: ah, thank you so much for your comment on my piece! i was worried while writing it that it would start to look like those “different types of girls” aesthetic posts that you see on tumblr, but it sounds like it worked alright? i hope? anyway, i’m so unreasonably flattered that you like my personal pieces that much, because it’s always a gamble in my head about whether i want to post them or not. and in reality, nearly all of my pieces are personal, just put into a less direct format (i really draw inspiration from my own experiences a whole lot haha). anyway thank you again and i hope you have a good day/night!


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Re: ok ok :) when I was watching your video, I noticed that you were kinda holding yourself really tightly. But you were kinda seeming to want to use your hands to express yourself, during the piece! Towards the end, you opened up a bit more and started using your arms, but it would look really good if you maybe tried it a few more times, got comfortable with it, and used more body language!! You know? Make it big and show me how passionate you are about the piece. Because this piece is SO strong and I want to see how much you care about it!
    Thats just my little thought :)) this piece is so good and the recording already swept me away. It was also really fun to see you and hear your voice haha!! :)) hope youre wonderful!! :)


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    ahhh so fun to see the recording and i love it and yayyyyyyy
    (can i give a performance tip? it's okay if you'd rather me not :))
    this is such a good, powerful, passionate piece and hearing you read it gave me shivers!! :D
    re: haha thank youu i'm so glad you liked it!! i didn't even realize the part about the sparrows referencing the bible, but there are some verses about sparrows that i do like and which seem to fit :) and yes, snow! it is snowing right as i write this, actually - just light, small flakes that come down pretty quickly. there isn't much wind so it is coming down almost perfectly straight. it gives the world such a beautiful feeling - delicate and cold! i like the big fat flakes the best, though, when they cloud your vision and stick in your hair and eyelashes and cover the ground in fluffy snow. and if you've never been in a snowfall like that, it is the strangest feeling because everything seems muted - the very world is holding its breath. (the reason for that is actually because the snow absorbs the sound, so cool!!) it's magical. and the sky is perfectly gray - there's nothing like it!! maybe someday you'll have to come to minnesota and see :)
    hope you're wonderful!!


    3 months ago
  • mirkat

    and oh! thatks for ur interpretation kinda made me think more. no one else left a comment :( hahahheheh oh and today i got a rain jacket which was exciting because i used to always be soaked in my unconvently not waterproof puffer.
    <3


    3 months ago
  • mirkat

    ahhhhh it worked! the linkkkkk and i saw you and heard you and wow that was the most exciting thing that happened to me all day-- maybe even all week. your presentation was great. very strong voice even if the recording was really quiet. loved hearing your voice sooooo much!
    re: thanks for checking in! i'm doing okay, just have a ton of hw. the good news is that i got my dividing polynomials quiz out of the way and i think i did pretty good. i sure was dreading it... ummmm reading a lot and went on a long walk with my friend and just kinda chilling. my other friend also made me two candles (she's very crafty) and last night i listened to music and danced around my room with all the lights turned off and just the candles going. that was nice. hmmm, not much else. hbu? have a great night!
    <3<3<3


    3 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    Chapter 6 of Eden Hill is out:
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/219577/version/460094


    3 months ago