alyanna

Philippines

hi, i'm alyanna!

15 • filipino • INTJ

christian

aside from being a writer/reader, i'm also a...
composer • pianist • singer • musical theatre lover • les mis fanatic • coder

Message from Writer

I'm always looking to improve, so if you could check out my work and give critique, that'd be great!

"All I need is a sheet of paper and something to write with, and then I can turn the world upside down." -Friedrich Nietzsche

To: contact@writeworks.inc | Subject: Letter of Complaint

February 21, 2021

WriteWorks Inc.
Planet Earth
Solar System
 
To Whom it may Concern:

I recently purchased your product, "Inspiration Kit", from your company WriteWorks Inc. 

Your website boasts that the kit, which is the first of its kind, will inspire me to write. As an aspiring writer, this seemed very promising indeed.

However, I have found the contents of the kit you sent me to have quite the opposite effect instead. 

It comprised of your "Set Aside Time," "Just Write," and "Read Other Books" products, among others. I used it yesterday, but for some reason, it didn't work.

I used "Set Aside Time" and followed all the instructions, setting aside time, but despite that, inspiration did not come. I found myself staring at a blank screen for an hour. Curse that infernal blank screen. 

So I moved on to the next item, the "Just Write" one. Unlike the previous product, this one worked relatively well. However, it did not help. I continued to write and wax what I thought was eloquent, but upon further examination of my own work, I realized that my writing was in fact trash, and proceeded to delete an hour's worth of writing. Absolutely pathetic. What use is this, if it won't help me write well?

According to the packet attached with the kit, I should use "Read Other Books" so that I can analyze them and in the process learn how to write better, as well as get inspired, so I did just that. Instead, reading great classics such as Les Miserables, Jane Eyre, Little Women, and more modern thrillers like Alex Rider, had opposite the desired effect. (I do commend the book choices that you sent me along with the kit, however) 

I learned a lot about writing, sure, but how would I be expected to replicate it? Furthermore, why would I replicate it, instead of writing in my own style? Does your company encourage plagiarism and unoriginality? Tsk, tsk.

And, inspire me? These were meant to inspire me? What a joke. It was inspirational, maybe, but it was also DE-MOTIVATIONAL. After seeing the amazing works of these authors and comparing it to my own measly works, did you really expect me to WANT to write? I already knew my work was bad, but did you create this kit simply to RUB my horrible writing skills into my FACE? Is my own incompetence not enough?

Needless to say, "Read Other Books" did not have its desired effect.

Given the obvious failure of the kit, I resolved to give you another chance and set out to purchase your "Writing Skill" kit (because perhaps if I combined inspiration with skill, I could actually pull writing off); unfortunately, it was out of stock. How disappointing.

Upon reading the reviews, though, I see that maybe it's not so disappointing after all, seeing as that kit is just as useless as the "Inspiration" one. 

Writing lessons and tutors? Seriously? Why can't you just give me instant talent and skill? Smite me with a thunderbolt that will give me writing superpowers. Give me a potion that will give me a masterful command of the English language! Why must I put in effort. Just why. 

In conclusion, your products don't work on me. I'm very disappointed, 0/10, would NOT recommend.

Sincerely, 
A Dissatisfied Customer 
Here's the ramblings of a sleep-deprived brain lol
Tried something different with this. Hope you enjoy! 

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  • February 21, 2021 - 7:11am (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • writergirl79

    This is a great piece I love it


    6 days ago
  • Ren(hiatus)

    Bahahaha I love this! Really hilarious, honestly you slapped their kits back to their faces hahaha


    2 months ago
  • barelybear

    Ahhh I’m dying of laughter - this is amazing!! I love the tone and the format, and all your little relatable touches like the but about rubbing it in your face. Literally every time I open a book lmao.


    2 months ago
  • doodleninja

    ahaha this is such a clever take on this prompt! love how you took the pov of a dissatisfied customer :D


    3 months ago
  • Booklover12

    Re: thank you!


    3 months ago