barelybear

United Kingdom

she/her, INFJ-A
musicals
fantasy/dystopian fiction
piano
life goal = becoming fluent in le français
☕️
est August 2020
community ambassador alum :D
They tell me I’m 16 but I’m sceptical
the squirrel is back!!

Message to Readers

As always, I love hearing everyone’s feedback/thoughts.
And if you want a review of a piece, drop me a comment and I’ll oblige with enthusiasm :)

Pandemonium (original, I know)

February 6, 2021

Write a 150-word story starting with the word “Pandemonium” (by Mahathi.S)

Pandemonium.

Never before in her rather lengthy life had Margaret seen the over 70s Sit-and-Knit group so active. Gertrude was hobbling, eyes burning her path to the armchair by the radiator; Catherine was loudly proclaiming her favourite curling tips, because gentle waves simply aren’t enough if you want to accentuate the cheekbones; those not enthralled by her were devilishly selecting the most vibrant wool, or the needles that would click clack slide impressively. Margaret thought she saw Grace barge another poor woman away from the rickety table, but she couldn’t be sure, for it was about then that Penelope began shrieking curses about her foot being perfectly fine in the three-dimensional plane, not flat, thank-you-very-much! One could not help but chuckle as Hortense rolled sheepishly over to her usual spot. 

Margaret, sighed, as there could only be one plausible explanation for these outbursts: a visitor was coming to Robin Lodge. 
Inspired by “The Thaw” by an English teacher I know, written for a competition and shared with our school’s write club. I thought it was a cool idea to have a comedy set in an old people’s home. 

word count was 150 before I put in the prompt ahah

Print

See History
  • February 6, 2021 - 2:49am (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

14 Comments
  • Nyla

    I love this!! The ending is awesome and I definitely didn't expect it! "gentle waves simply aren’t enough if you want to accentuate the cheekbones" LOL I love that. you honestly captured the elderly's attitudes so well. I love how descriptive you are with what everyone is doing, it helps me imagine it all so well! And I can't believe you wrote this before the prompt because it flows so well with it and gives such a cool take on it. This would honestly make the most amazing beginning to a longer story!


    6 months ago
  • Nyla

    RE: HAHAH, nooo, it could totally be taken that way! (Like a warning shot you know?) In fact, I was trying to go for that kind of mood but at the same time I was also thinking of track and field (terrible memories *shiver* somehow got 6th place (out of like 30 girls ok! I’m not that unathletic *sob*) once in grade 5 and once in grade 8 for completely different events LOL) Did you like your track and field (or whatever you call it there cause I know my cousins have something like it) Wait- why would you if you said you were unathletic? Or is it just how people who are semi-athletic claim they're unathletic?- I had two different ideas in my head! And aww thank you!
    Hahah yes I should look into it more- but man- at a first glance it looks so confusing!

    Lol that paragraph got so off track and confused! Hopefully, you can make some sense of it!

    Haha yeah I get what you mean. I never know what’s going to come out to be honest, sometimes I just get inspired, other times I start with a word and either 10 words will come out to form a poem or 100 to make a paragraph XD

    Haha mm, the dark chocolate part sounds nice but the marzipan, yuck! I’ve never liked marzipan- there’s just something off about it.
    HAHA lollll your comments never fail to make me guffaw (wow, finally got to use that word! Honestly always reminds me of giraffe for some reason) out loud!

    And yes! You will now be an elitist Marvel lover!

    Lolll! I’m having trouble thinking of the last time I had one as well- man it has been a while. But you can just run to the nearest shop and get one! I can only if it’s by chance in the imported aisle at the grocery store!
    And HAHAHA, no I loveee it! I get that it’s really sweet but I guess I’m still a kid hehe.
    And yeah! Well so my mum’s whole side of the family lives in England. (Her dad, sisters, cousins, and aunts and uncles. Apart from a few cousins around the world) But specifically in London my aunt and grandfather (plus a few of my mum’s cousins- can never keep track of all of them) live. The rest of my cousins and aunts live really close to London, just a few busses away (cause the suburbs). And hahah! Yeah, it’ll definitely be less common there!

    LOLLLLL HAHAHA most of my friend’s rank Hershey the same (or nearly the same) as Lindor! (Dw, I don’t agree!) Loll, it really is hilarious the difference in taste! Real test for a Canadian? Give them marzipan and see how their reaction! (Yes, I am that against Marzipan!)

    Hahah, LOLLL and yes!! They really do! (Says the European haha) If I ever lived there (which with the little cobblestone paths and everything would be a dream) I would gain so much weight! Plus all the pastries (thinking about France and Italy now) I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of!

    Haha! Ohhhhh nice- my cousins are such liars lol- they always want to make it seem like they have such a tough life and school is so easy here (granted it definitely is in some respects but still! They made it out to be so horrifying lol) But that’s good! Cool!

    Haha yeah lol. And definitely! “caring doctor” awww you’re so sweet! But yeah, I really enjoy science and I do want to be a super awesome doctor and discover things and all that cool stuff so I’m like 99% sure I’m going to do an undergrad in science, but I may want to take some courses in English lit for fun! As for your history (idk what it is exactly there) here you can do an undergrad in anything you want before med school. I’ve heard of someone who did a singing degree before they went to med school and an arabic degree before med school. They’re actually starting to accept a lot of students from non-traditional backgrounds. (I know you hadn’t even thought of being a doctor probably but just saying- come to Canada heheh) But a history teacher is still a really great job- my history teacher was my favourite teacher this year and he loves his job! And there are jobs you can get with social sciences anyways- it’s just a lot harder (or at least here cause in Ontario it’s very hard to get teaching jobs!) Anyways, there was a whole news article, but at least there wasn’t a paywall XD

    Awww that’s so cool that it had such a big impact on you! And ooh haha yeah I would have been too young lol (October baby *sppoky*) And loll nooo I couldn’t rejoin cause all the people my age left and are doing cadets now and so I’d be left with the annoying younger boys!! And yeah, it sounds like a huge commitment! What was your favourite part of it? And what did you actually do there? Just conferences or sightseeing? And yess!!!!!

    Hahah yes! LOLL yes “awkward” is the perfect word to describe it!

    Lol yes that means ice hockey! LOLLL and haha yes you will- wow, you’re definitely a mastermind aren’t you? Coming up with all these great plans?

    LOLLLL, love the description but that’s cool it was mandatory! I took it this year and next but it’s optional (dad’s in IT so kind of had to keep that option open lolll) But the teacher was also kind of idk how to describe it. He said he was older than our parents but he didn’t look that old (he still had not white hair) and he didn’t have any kids. Plus he was a retired coder and then decided to teach- idk I felt kind of bad for him sometimes, his life kind of sounded sad
    Ooooh thank you! I kind of thought that was how you did it (grade 10 computer science coming in clutch) but I wasn’t sure- thanks for saving me 10 minutes of aggressively hitting my computer! XD

    HAHAH, I’m glad you liked it LOLL
    Ooh hope you had a good tea! And thank youuu!! Loll, I actually haven’t had pancakes for like two weeks *sob sob* (they really are the best things on the planet and mmm, maple syrup I can’t even begin to describe) and ooh wait, want to hear something super Canadian? Sometimes I’ll have pancakes for lunch!!
    LOL, I don’t know anyone who does that! Maybe it’s just a *thing* or maybe it was just weirdo Oshawa (lol idk if it’s weird- never been!)

    Back at you! <3
    Nyla


    6 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Re: Thank you so much for your flavourful(?) comment on my piece!!! XD I've never gotten that kind of comment about my writing, but I LOVE IT! It's so beautiful how you described it! <3
    Btw, what's your favourite type of tea?


    7 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Re: Hey! Yes, Zirong is my wtw twin sister! You're so lucky to get to work with her, she's amazing! And thank you! That is so sweet! I'll definitely try to love myself more. You should too <3
    And I just saw in your message board that you like tea! High five, sister; I do too! Actually, my country, Sri Lanka, is quite famous for tea. Have you ever tasted Sri Lankan tea? If you haven't, you totally should, it's really rich and delicious! So I'd have to say that's my favourite type of tea. I'm thinking that's probably the wrong answer *sweats* but despite that, I hope we can be friends. <3


    7 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    This is so interesting and beautifully written! The descriptions are vivid and brought a smile to my face. And you're a new CA, congratulations!!! You'll definitely be a great CA! <3


    7 months ago
  • Love, Rose

    wow this is stunning well done


    8 months ago
  • remi'sgotinkstains

    re: aww thanks! ;)


    8 months ago
  • Swing_Lynn

    super well written, the style fit the prompt perfectly. It was cute and fun and the greatest way :) :)


    8 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: Glad I'm not the only one who was totally terrified of performing. Really good luck with your performance, I hope it isn't cancelled for you! I'm sure you'll be great. Thank you for the comment on the Girl in Blue, I didn't know my writing had a ' oOoohggkfk' effect :D.


    8 months ago
  • beth r.

    I love how fun this is- very well written!
    re: aw thank you :)


    8 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: haha thank you, I guess I did. Ooooh okay please let me know if you add more to this piece! Drama, wow! You're brave - drama terrified me


    8 months ago
  • Parisienne

    re: Well that was one hell of a coffee...it's a really great start to a piece. Maybe you could even do like little short stories in the various perspectives of the residents. Just an idea....but you probably already have a good plan for where this is going :)
    Thank you, I'm so excited to be finally following my dream! I know what you mean about art being emotionally draining - don't know if you did GCSE or not but my teacher HATED my style so I got a lower grade than I was wanting. I'm hoping they are more open to various styles at degree level though :D
    Haha I'm glad you like the ending - I just think it's magic the way paint melts down a sink. Hope you're having a good day :)


    8 months ago
  • Parisienne

    This is so funny but heartwarming. Love it! :)


    8 months ago
  • Alias 3

    There's such a warm charm in this story and it is very well written. :)


    8 months ago