Peer Review by Zirong (Singapore)

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Story of a Shattered Heart By:Rival

By: Rival

(Verse 1)
When I was younger I was always told that love was pain
So I taught myself to hide emotions deep within
I say I'm fine but I feel more pain that id admit
if I give up and quit
and admit to all the dirt I did
I try so hard but I never seem fit in
a broken poet and a lonesome misfit
every night when I look at my face
I feel so broken and so hopeless 
so I try to replace
everything that I try not to say
I end up saying it all
it comes out either way
(Verse 2)
When I got older I took my anger out on others
I blame it on everyone else but me and my mother
when in truth that's where the fault lies
all my demons are eating me taking my life
I try not to cry and to fight through the night
so I slip into my mind that's where I hide
every night when I look at my face
I feel so broken and hopeless
so I try to replace
everything I try not to say
i end up saying it all 
it comes out either way


Peer Review

I can feel the loneliness and sadness from the lyrics. This song broke my heart.

The whole verse 2 is my favourite! It's very well-crafted and the rhymes are great :)

Hmm actually I wish this song could be longer. Maybe you can add one or two section(s) to make it even richer?

I really like this song! Any melody ideas?

No additional comments.