Anne Blackwood

United States

16
Christian
Theatre kid
Singer (soprano)
Poet
Twin (fraternal)
Spoonie
Disfusive
Highly Sensitive Person
Living oxymoron
Kindness Krusader: Blueberry cotton candy
XXFJ, Melancholic-Sanguine, ambivert

Joined 1/16/20

Message to Readers

So I've gotten a lot of great advice from females here (thanks!), but I was wondering if some guys had any input. If you were friends with a girl and you liked her, how would you want her to act?

Hehe I need some advice (males on WtW I'm talking to you)

February 2, 2021

FREE WRITING

12

Don't. Don't do that.

Don't look at me like that and send my heart into my throat
Don't add another brick into my ever sinking boat

Don't paint a perfect version of me inside your mind
Don't ever let me see the joy that you might find

Don't rob me of the air that's been so hard to breathe
Don't make it even harder when I just want to leave
So this is a piece I wrote a while back while we were still in school. It's about a guy acquaintance that I enjoyed the company of but I noticed staring at me once in an unsettling way (not creepy just unexpected).
The two of us have recently become friends, and we text frequently. He's heavily implied that he at least used to like me (I've been playing dumb about it hehe). And he compliments me and I think he's flirted with me a few times... Idk what to do. I don't want to end our friendship, but I don't want to encourage him romantically. For all I know I've been reading this all wrong, although I don't think so. Help!

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  • February 2, 2021 - 10:09pm (Now Viewing)

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42 Comments
  • BriRiley

    Haha, I know I’m not a boy but this has happened to me! My best friend told me he has liked me the entire time he knew me, and it was really freaky! I just told him that “I had know idea!” (Because I didn’t) and then never mentioned it again? Idk that sounds mean, but I had already told him that I have never really had a crush on anyone, and I had friend zoned him a while ago. Sooo, just make sure he knows he’s friend zoned? Or just talk about your crush or how you don’t have one? Idk XD Sorry this wasn’t very helpful.


    about 1 month ago
  • Rohan’s Defender

    Re: wow, that awesome that you took an important message from it! I hope you’re feeling completely normal and well now, and thanks for telling me! :)


    2 months ago
  • _Delphiruns2theocean_

    Well.....I have some guy friends and they've told me (I was in the same situation a couple years back and didn't handle it so well :( ) that they'd rather be told that the girl doesn't like them then be let on by a girl....I didn't take their advice and it got really messy and caused a ton of drama so don't repeat my mistakes!


    3 months ago
  • In Which Yaya Writes

    Wow.... are there like only two guys on WTW?? I can think of FantasyOtter left XD. I've already given you every shred of advice I have because I've never dated/dealt with someone who likes me EVER XD. But I think most of the people on here have good advice. And lots of different perspectives XD. Good poem, BTW!


    3 months ago
  • mindfruit (hiatus)

    Hello Anne! You were asking for guy advice from a guy, so here I am! Ok so I'll just going to go off the scenario you put in the message board. It's a little tricky, see, because if I liked a girl I would naturally want her to like me back. But if she didn't, I'd want there to be clear implications that she didn't like me romantically, and only wanted to be friends. There's nothing worse than getting led on to believe one thing, and then learning it's not true. So what does that mean for you? Basically, if he makes any romantic advances, it's okay to friendzone him. But if he doesn't, you still want to make it clear that you're only friends.
    Oh also, thank you for the warm re-welcome! See you around Anne!


    3 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    Re: How are you feeling lately Anne? Also you are one of my fav people on this site because of how kind you are and how open you are about your struggles. I do hope our friendship will grow I can't wait to read more of your work and you mine. So glad I am following you.


    3 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    Honestly just be honest and talk to him about it. See where it goes. But honesty is the best policy. A good guy will respect your wishes I promise.


    3 months ago
  • psithurism

    Ok you should definitely listen to Reanimated their comment was perfect


    3 months ago
  • Jasmine khawar

    Wow i never get in these type of situations. I don't even talk to any male XD i can't really help you here sorry!!!! But yeah friendzone him as everyone is saying!!!!


    3 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender

    Re: awww, thank you so much, Anne! You too! <3333


    3 months ago
  • anonymous_123 [Child of God]

    Re: ok yeah I did comment that weirdly.. so what I was write a poem about that and have the comment talk about their advice about how to tell if someone liked you. Also.. yeah me and the other person go to different schools now and I blocked him and he really was different and like mad, but were younger so it kinda makes sense because I was like his “first love” to him


    3 months ago
  • Reanimated

    as an addition to some of the other comments, don't feel guilty about 'friendzoning' him. subtlety isn't always the best route to take, especially if you're taking that route in an attempt to spare his feelings. being frank with him might be hard, but you both have equal right to understand and be understood.


    3 months ago
  • Reanimated

    you don't owe him (whoever he is) anything. If you don't like him that way, be honest and tell him. it'll probably be awkward, but you deserve to have your intentions understood clearly. if he gets mad and doesn't want to be friends with you at all, then he likely never was going to value you in a future relationship anyway. i can say with experience that if someone just wants to date you and isn't willing to be friends first/take time to get to know one another, any romantic relationship you have with them won't end well. if he's isn't trying to flirt with you tell him that you're still not comfortable with him speaking that way to you. obviously dont be rude about it, but you deserve to feel comfortable around your friends. never compromise on that. i cannot stress this enough. if you are uncomfortable, speak up about it, claim that agency for yourself.

    this gal's perspective at least.


    3 months ago
  • sci-Fi

    well uh im not a dude but im bi and ive been on both sides of situation. if you want to stay friends with him but you don't want him to think you like him, i say just treat him like any of your other friends. don't act any different in front of him, because that'll make him think that your feelings for him are different from your feelings from everyone else.
    i also agree with Emi, it depends what type of guy he is.
    hope that helps :)


    3 months ago
  • Mr. Enoki

    Quack! I'm always for some odd reason stuck in these scenarios :/ I'm noooooo help that's for sure, but I think that just addressing it head on politely is the best way to end up with no hurt feelingssss! Hope some of these comments can help youuuuuuu


    3 months ago
  • anonymous_123 [Child of God]

    Yeah I would say that I’ve had an issue with this. I told him nicely that I didn’t like him and I know that we’d be so much better as friends because it’s better that way. I also said I didn’t think we’d work as a couple, even though we were waiting until we were older. Not to send bad energy, but he didn’t take it too good. He got mad at me because he claimed to do all these things with me which he did but I really just wanted to be friends. But I think if you’re nice about it will help. Also can you do a piece about how to tell if they like you or not or like what someone will do if they like you (for both genders) this would help me so much! :) following btw


    3 months ago
  • Emi

    Re: Well...the guys in my town fall into 2 categories.
    1. Immature and obnoxious. Pretty much every guy at my youth group. Basically loud, annoying, and way too sporty. Typically I ignore them or end up slapping one in the face when he tries to get too familiar (yes, I actually did that to someone by accident when he came up behind me and pounded me on the back). I don't know much about these guys cause I don't like to hang out with them cause they drive me up the wall. Most of them are younger than me too.
    2. Usually homeschooler guys. Quiet or else slightly talkative but usually won't say a word about romance. Like ever. Might possibly like you but will probably never tell you until the apocalypse. This is where I base most of my experiences observing guys cause most of the guys my age that I know are like this (all guys my age around here are homeschooled, coincidentally).
    Sorry, I have a small town (5,000 people last count) so diversity in males is pretty much down to those two categories (maybe a few exceptions that I haven't met).


    3 months ago
  • ~rain~

    My love life is a little messy at the moment, but I've got some ideas for you. First off, maybe ask if he's interested in you or someone else, possibly someone else that you both know, not directly or anything because that could make it too obvious. I mean, if he's texting you frequently, then that has to mean something, right? I've definitely been in the same spot as you, so you aren't alone. Tbh, I kinda am in that situation right now. If you live close to him maybe ask if he wants to hang out? Or if not, FaceTime him? Try not to rush into things (I have a friend who had that problem and it didn't end well), like I said don't ask directly about him liking you or anything. If he hasn't dropped some hints about liking you, then just be patient. Hope I was able to give you some advice!

    Also, I emailed WtW about the like problem. Hopefully that'll be fixed soon..!


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    well i'm not male but if i was in that situation i'd probably want her to tell me, but subtly, so i don't like, embarrass myself? idk. like Caleb said. platonic relationships for the win :P


    3 months ago
  • Caleb Urlacher

    lol yeah i was gonna say you don't see many guys on here.
    xd


    3 months ago
  • Caleb Urlacher

    am i like the only male here lol

    i actually have no idea because platonic relationships ftw


    3 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    i agree with emi. also i really like the way you wrote this.
    also, has anyone emailed wtw about the problem with the likes?


    3 months ago
  • Emi

    I liked it.
    Hmmm...I would suggest just continue treating him like a casual friend and never bring up romance. If you're not dropping any hints, I would say it's rather unlikely he would ask you out, as in my experience most guys aren't super outgoing about that (but obviously use your own judgement). If he DOES ask you out, I guess just politely say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, but I would rather just remain friends. I hope that doesn't hurt your feelings too much," or something like that.


    3 months ago
  • _Delphiruns2theocean_

    From love disasters 101 here, I don't know. I'd maybe mention other guys you like...? I have some guy friends, one a year older than me, and my friend's relatives who are my age but I don't think they like me in a romantic way at least, except for a few flirty comments that I've dismissed I haven't dealt with this. Maybe mention you're friends and if he does ask you out at one point then I have no idea. This is may come off as a jerk but you do have someone who likes you, and you should take that as a compliment :) I did have a guy friend a couple years ago who I had been friends with for a year and his friend and my girl friend were friends and we all hung out until the guy friend of mine asked me out. Being a total idiot I said yes so I wouldn't come off as mean but I broke up with him by saying I don't want to go to the dance with you over text (I promise I thought it was completely un mean when I was saying it) and now we're just friends again but when he mentions dances I totally freak and change the subject. Sooo, don't repeat my mistakes I guess :/ good luck though!


    3 months ago
  • SunV

    *WARNING* I am not a relationship expert: What I would do is:

    1. You know the guy well as a friend, and if you think they're open to conversation, bring it up. I've done this once with one of my friends (for another girl), and those two are still good friends, even though he liked her at a point of time. If he does like you, tell him you're not interested, or if you are, tell him you are, but you don't want it to ruin your friendship.
    2. FRIENDZONE HIM!!! Drop subtle hints that he's a friend (many people have detailed advice on this in the comments below mine)

    Note that I have never been in a relationship, am not in one, and do not plan on being in one until I'm 30 (jk, but not anytime soon)


    3 months ago
  • Lata.B

    AHHH UMMM AHH!!
    make sure you know what you want before you do anything tho:)


    3 months ago
  • Dmoral

    yIKES, girl, honestly? idek.
    reference him using "friend"....that's kinda what i do. like, "you're a great friend" or "what are friends for" so it like, shows them how you're nudging them into the friend zone, yk? if it doesn't work, maybe just bring up someone else you think is cute or like? this is a plan B kind of thing and you have to be nice about it, but yeah, bringing someone else up works.

    sorry, this is probably not much help or a tad outdated or repetitive. personally, the last time this happen to me it ended horribly :(, but i believe in you!


    3 months ago
  • (sk)eyesofocher

    *bows in neon green shorts* happy to be of assistance.


    3 months ago
  • (sk)eyesofocher

    "gently yeet into the friend zone" XD I have no advice, expect to wish you all the best! So sorry-- this awkward bean never gets out of the house. But good luck!


    3 months ago
  • rosi's leaving

    AAAAAAA-
    um, just..keep up the friendly banter?? idk mate my love life is messy, i don't have a lot of advice to you


    3 months ago
  • beth r.

    re: anytime anne! lol we stan tea drinkers in this household


    3 months ago
  • beth r.

    re: alright here's the tea- a friend of mine said to just treat it like the normal friendship- if he hints at romance or whatever, make your intentions clear (ie. "you're an awesome FRIEND"). obviously my friends and I are all super awkward so idk if this is fantastic advice- i'd continue asking around.


    3 months ago
  • beth r.

    re: *sweats in unison* I've never really had experience with this specific situation before- I'll ask my friends for advice and I'll let you know


    3 months ago
  • Mpm#1

    Re: Don't be so surprised Anne, you're a real sweetheart. (Yes, this is coming from a stranger on the internet, but I'm mostly harmless I swear!) Good luck!


    3 months ago
  • Mpm#1

    Re: Since he talks to you frequently, wait for him to say something and then be like, "Aw, bro you're such a good friend!" or something along those lines. Don't worry too much about it; he may very well lose interest over time too. At least you have someone who liiiikkkkkeeeessss yooooooouuuuuuu. (Sorry, annoying older sister in me coming out a bit. XD)


    3 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Haha thanks :P Yeah it doesn't let me like anything D:< (this is a comment=like too)


    3 months ago
  • beth r.

    im with everyone here- you need to gently yeet this into the friend zone if you aren't interested :)


    3 months ago
  • Mpm#1

    FRIENDZONEEEEEEEEEE him subtly and kindly. If he keeps at it maybe just talk to him about it? Sometimes that helps. Good luck Anne!


    3 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    (re: haha I wouldn't either :P)


    3 months ago
  • Blue Jay

    This is a tough one. I have no experience with romance, but I have had to turn people down because I am aroace (and I have no idea what flirting is, yikes). Feel free to say no if he asks you out and be honest about how you feel. Make it very clear that you don't like him and just want to be friends. Hopefully, if he cares about you and values your friendship, he will understand and still be friends with you. Tough situation, good luck however you decide to handle it, and in other news amazing poem!


    3 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: yeah. That's ok :) (maybe ask him? idk i have no love life lmao)


    3 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    re: thank you. It's really sad about what actually happened, and that's why I wanted to write a poem about it. (this is awesome! Gosh I've never had a bf, or never had anyone say they like me, but I'd honestly just say you still want to be friends, but you don't want to go any further than that.)


    3 months ago