Peer Review by The Ravenclaw Dragon (United States)

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A Beautiful Ache

By: anemoia by a thread



[VERSE 1]
I hear whispers of inspiration from letters on the page
Faded ink and dusty shelves and spines cracked with age
They tell me their secrets and I try to understand
Long-forgotten melodies and books that were banned

[PRE-CHORUS]
And I try,
To make sense of it all, and I try
I don’t always know what they mean

[CHORUS]
Darling, these written words, they shine like the sun
Reminding us of who we are and who we might become
They speak and they whisper, they shout and they plead
I wanna feel every precious sentence they weave, ooh

[POST-CHORUS]
It’s a longing in my heart
A thirst in my mind
It’s like an ache in my soul
A beautiful ache

[VERSE 2]
I see flashes of revelations from the beauty of humanity
Thoughtful eyes and open arms and how you look at me
We tell each other secrets and we always understand
Conversations become our poetry when you take my hand

[PRE-CHORUS]
And I live,
So I can make sense of you, and I live
I don’t always know where you lead

[CHORUS]
Darling, these spoken words, they shine like the sun
Reminding us of who we are and who we might become
We speak and we whisper, we shout and we plead
I’m gonna feel every precious sentence we weave, ooh

[POST-CHORUS]
It’s a longing in my heart
A thirst in my mind
It’s like an ache in my soul
A beautiful ache

[BRIDGE]
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Every lonely word
Waiting to be found
Pleading to be heard
Every lovely pen
That writes for the world
That longs to be seen
Oh, this beautiful 
Ache
That penetrates
The depths of who I am
And who I hope to be

[VERSE 3]
I have visions of celebrations from the warmth of community
Rising to greet the dawn in a place where we’re free
Laughter rings for miles and miles all around
There is nothing like that beautiful, inharmonious sound

[PRE-CHORUS]
And I love,
So I can make sense of this world, and I love
I don’t always know how to be

[CHORUS]
Darling, these golden words, they shine like the sun
Reminding us of who we are and who we might become
We speak and we whisper, we shout and we plead
We wanna feel every precious sentence we weave, ooh

[POST-CHORUS] 
It’s a longing in my heart
It’s a thirst in my mind
It’s like an ache in my soul
A beautiful ache

[OUTRO]
Stories give me 
That beautiful ache
Words give me 
That beautiful ache
You give me
That beautiful ache
It’s such a beautiful ache

I would greatly appreciate reviews and comments! I can't promise a review for a review, but I will attempt to. (Sorry.) 
I have a friend who might be helping me set this to music, but it's quite a process. I *might* link a recording, but then I'd have to figure out how... And then I'd have to muster the confidence to have you listen to me sing without any instruments, and that's not something I wish on you lightly.
Another thing... I already had the song parts labeled as shown, but do you think I should rename/change some of them? Like, should I call the OUTRO the CODA instead? Should I label POST-CHORUS as REFRAIN? I'm not musically savvy, so this is all an experiment.
Bonus points if you notice a reference in the BRIDGE.
Oh, and did I mention how much Anne of Green Gables inspired this? You know, when she talks about that "queer ache" she gets when something is just so beautiful that it almost hurts?

Message to Readers

minor edits and fixes
see footnotes, i put the good stuff there
still in need of technical and musical advice!!! song parts, musical arrangements?! HELP


Peer Review

This is a song about how words speak to the writer. I feel inspired to now listen to what my books are telling me.


"I hear whispers of inspiration from letters on the page". This is really inspiring, and I feel like it is true for so many people (including me).


Maybe shorten the bridge a bit? I still believe, though, that it's pretty good the way it is.


This is amazing! I loved the story inside it and all I can further say is that it's amazing. Great job!


Reviewer Comments

Do you think you review my songwriting piece? I understand if you don't. And good luck in the competition!