Peer Review by mirkat (United States)

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A Beautiful Ache

By: anemoia by a thread



[VERSE 1]
I hear whispers of inspiration from letters on the page
Faded ink and dusty shelves and spines cracked with age
They tell me their secrets and I try to understand
Long-forgotten melodies and books that were banned

[PRE-CHORUS]
And I try,
To make sense of it all, and I try
I don’t always know what they mean

[CHORUS]
Darling, these written words, they shine like the sun
Reminding us of who we are and who we might become
They speak and they whisper, they shout and they plead
I wanna feel every precious sentence they weave, ooh

[POST-CHORUS]
It’s a longing in my heart
A thirst in my mind
It’s like an ache in my soul
A beautiful ache

[VERSE 2]
I see flashes of revelations from the beauty of humanity
Thoughtful eyes and open arms and how you look at me
We tell each other secrets and we always understand
Conversations become our poetry when you take my hand

[PRE-CHORUS]
And I live,
So I can make sense of you, and I live
I don’t always know where you lead

[CHORUS]
Darling, these spoken words, they shine like the sun
Reminding us of who we are and who we might become
We speak and we whisper, we shout and we plead
I’m gonna feel every precious sentence we weave, ooh

[POST-CHORUS]
It’s a longing in my heart
A thirst in my mind
It’s like an ache in my soul
A beautiful ache

[BRIDGE]
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Every lonely word
Waiting to be found
Pleading to be heard
Every lovely pen
That writes for the world
That longs to be seen
Oh, this beautiful 
Ache
That penetrates
The depths of who I am
And who I hope to be

[VERSE 3]
I have visions of celebrations from the warmth of community
Rising to greet the dawn in a place where we’re free
Laughter rings for miles and miles all around
There is nothing like that beautiful, inharmonious sound

[PRE-CHORUS]
And I love,
So I can make sense of this world, and I love
I don’t always know how to be

[CHORUS]
Darling, these golden words, they shine like the sun
Reminding us of who we are and who we might become
We speak and we whisper, we shout and we plead
We wanna feel every precious sentence we weave, ooh

[POST-CHORUS] 
It’s a longing in my heart
It’s a thirst in my mind
It’s like an ache in my soul
A beautiful ache

[OUTRO]
Stories give me 
That beautiful ache
Words give me 
That beautiful ache
You give me
That beautiful ache
It’s such a beautiful ache

I would greatly appreciate reviews and comments! I can't promise a review for a review, but I will attempt to. (Sorry.) 
I have a friend who might be helping me set this to music, but it's quite a process. I *might* link a recording, but then I'd have to figure out how... And then I'd have to muster the confidence to have you listen to me sing without any instruments, and that's not something I wish on you lightly.
Another thing... I already had the song parts labeled as shown, but do you think I should rename/change some of them? Like, should I call the OUTRO the CODA instead? Should I label POST-CHORUS as REFRAIN? I'm not musically savvy, so this is all an experiment.
Bonus points if you notice a reference in the BRIDGE.
Oh, and did I mention how much Anne of Green Gables inspired this? You know, when she talks about that "queer ache" she gets when something is just so beautiful that it almost hurts?

Message to Readers

minor edits and fixes
see footnotes, i put the good stuff there
still in need of technical and musical advice!!! song parts, musical arrangements?! HELP


Peer Review

I think this song is about how different experiences, people, and places shape us in ways that impact both how we act and how we perceive the actions of others. This song is about self-discovery in a time where everything is connected.


The last part of the bridge as well as the chorus really resonate with me... connecting the themes of the song in both a literal way (the actual lyrics point out how words and people can change us) and figurative way (they are the backbones of the song-- the framework for the verses). The chorus is also really catchy, which is a great attribute in a song!


I think this is a great first draft, but everything felt a little too broad to me. You didn't really dive deep into the particular truth you were searching for (verse 1) or into the person that loves you (verse 2). More details would add so much. It also helps to choose a point in your own life where you experienced some of these same emotions or experiences.


You've got a great start! I love the theme of this song and I can't wait to see how you expand and change it, drawing from your own memories to guide you.


Reviewer Comments

I've never analyzed a song so closely! Tell me, what is this song about to you? A song means something different to every listener (or, in this case, reader) and I was wondering how you got this idea. Wonderful work as always! Keep writing!