SunV

India

she/her

est. 11/10/19

history has its eyes on you.

Message from Writer

lavender's green (dilly dilly) lavender's blue,
if you love me (dilly dilly) i will love you.

Dear Best Friend

February 11, 2021

Link to Performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEkGtxPojtk​

[Intro]
Dear best friend….

[Verse 1]
How do you do? It’s been
Twenty years since I saw you
I know we went our separate ways, but
I just really miss those days when we’d
Sit on the swings in the middle of the park
Laugh and joke till it turned dark
I don’t know if you remember me, but if
You do then I can’t wait to see
You again

[Verse 2]
You see,
I’m coming to your quaint town,
I’d really love to see you around
We could grab a coffee or two, and
I’d spill my guts to you, because
You’d laugh and throw my troubles away
I’d smile and things would be okay
I don’t know if you remember me, but
If you do, then I can’t wait to see you again

[Chorus 1]
Dear best friend,
My life’s been a never ending
Circle, and I just want some time with you
I know you’re busy, But I’m feeling lonely
So, please, can we just talk for an hour or two,

[Post-chorus]
Dear best friend,
I sent a letter two weeks ago
I never got one back from you, so
I’ll be at the park at 6pm and
I hope you come there, we could meet again

[Bridge]
If I hurt you in any way
Know I never meant it
I thought that we'd just grown apart,
But nothing seems to fix it

[Verse 3]
Dear best friend,
I don’t know if you’ve
Checked your inbox since 2010
You never came around, I sat on the swings till 9pm
I’m saying my goodbye, I hope you live the rest of your life, happily because
When you turn around you will realise that you left me behind

[Outro]
Love,
Your best friend
Draft 1: Primarily looking for feedback on any sort of structural improvements or any way you think the flow could be more fluent

Draft 2: Shortened because my mom thought it felt too long and monotonous (moms have the best advice). Looking for vocab advice (And everything listed in draft 1 note) 

Draft 3: Changed bridge from feedback on the expert review. While writing this, my main aim was for the reader/listener to get a feel that they grew apart, not that they fought or had a disagreement. Does the bridge make that a bit more clearer? That it was just life that got in the way?

Also, I'm probably going to submit this is my final draft. Please let me know if I need to make any changes!

And, does anyone know if it's okay that our final written draft and final recording vary a bit? My bridge here and bridge in the recording have different lyrics, but if we aren't allowed to do that, I'll upload another recording....
 

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3 Comments
  • anemoia (#words)

    re: THANK YOU SO MUCH! yes the verses are G A D A so i'd prefer to transpose the chords rather than my voice since i can't really do that.
    I think it will definitely help. my boyfriend was just trying to explain it to me, but then i said i started with the chords rather than the key, and he gave up.
    i think google will definitely be my friend. i just have to wait until i get home to do it since i only have the chords written on paper.


    3 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    re: also, yes, i would love feedback whenever possible on the chord arrangement! i didn't bother doing much research, but i know it's not all in the same key... oops. but no rush; i'm not concerned about my performance so it can be after the comp deadline for the chord advice.


    3 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    OK I LOVED THIS. the vibes, the video, the lyrics, the aesthetic, the vividness of the diction. i'm sure you're allowed to have a little variance in the final recording and the lyrics. the melody is almost just how i imagined it as i was reading it. indie folk vibes. i really like the specific details like "i'll be at the park at 6pm" and "checked your inbox since 2010"


    3 months ago