beth r.

United States

... just your average, teenage writer

Message to Readers

;-;

in which i write a screenplay for a high school mockumentary because I DON'T WANT TO GO TO MED SCHOOL, MOM

January 27, 2021

FREE WRITING

42
SCENE EXT INT: Opens on a panoramic view of Brickwood High, a prestigious boarding school. The camera zooms into the school hallway, one of blue lockers and highly polished wood flooring.  But stop right there- prestigious? Never judge a book by its cover.
INTRO MUSIC: THE WII THEME SONG 

[Shaky camera zoom in on ALEX, a cocky, brunette sophomore standing in the hallway.]

INTERVIEWER: So, what's Brickwood High like?
ALEX: I mean, it's pretty good. I've been here for 2 years, which is forteen years in dog years, and that's like, an eternity. So yeah, I know the ropes- you can say I'm [finger guns] an expert. 
[Jump cut to a montage of ALEX walking into the wrong classroom, leaning on none existant walls and falling, forgetting his locker combination, etc.]
[Jump cut back to ALEX talking to INTERVIEWER]
ALEX: [sharp inhale] An expert.
INTERVIEWR: Mhm. What are the teachers like?
ALEX: Um. Well- [lowers voice] I'm currently on the run from the school social worker- she's constantly hunting us down and asking us about- um; feelings [shudders].
[MS. NORRIS, the school social worker with a unfaltering plastic grin, pops out from behind a locker]
MS. NORRIS:
ALEX I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR YOU
ALEX: [shrieks]

~commercial break for chex mix or something. chex mix brand please notice me I love you~

[MS. NORRIS isn't there anymore, and the camera is still trained on ALEX]
ALEX- [visibely shaken]
Like I was saying, I-
[A red head runs in front of Alex shrieking like a pterodactyl (ew silent ps)]
ALEX
- DUDE. Don't mind him, that's just Ryler. He's elastic.
INTERVIEWR- You mean eccentric?
ALEX- Yeahhhh.
[Jump cut to RYLER in English class, presenting a slideshow to the class]
RYLER
- My persuasive essay is on why hotdogs are, indeed, a breed of taco.
RANDOM STUDENT IN CLASS- You're an abomination, Ryler.
Ryler: YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM THE TRUTH, JESSICA! 
[Jump cut back to the Interview with ALEX]
ALEX
- I mean, at least Ryler isn't as scary as Claudia.
[Jump cut to CLAUDIA, a junior with straight blonde hair, in History class]
HEALTH TEACHER- Now class, what's a healthful alternative to soda?
CLAUDIA- A smoothie made out of crushed hopes and dreams, with a dash of perpetual hatred for literally everyone in my life.
HEALTH TEACHER- Wow- um. Delicious.
CLAUDIA- Magically delicious [evil laugh]
ALEX- DON'T RUIN LUCKY CHARMS FOR ME I SWEAR-
[Jump cut back to interview with ALEX]
ALEX
- Well, I guess you can say that there isn't a dull moment here at Brickwood High. I'm joking, of course you can, it's school
MS. NORRIS- [Jumps out of trash can behind ALEX]
MS. NORRIS- OH ALEX I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR YOU
ALEX- [shrieks like a ptaredactyl- er, RYLER]

OUTRO- KAHOOT MUSIC



 
yes i named the school brickwood. i'm disappointed, too.
anyway, you know that awkward moment when your parents never say that you NEED to be a doctor, but you feel like it's implied? but you wanna do maybe something artsy-er and entertainment-ier than that? maybe? so you secretly have been working on a The Office- esque tv show concept and maybe you wanna do something with it but the formatting of this pilot is all wrong (because it's for experimental purposes). 
welp. reviews, feedback of every and any kind is extremely appreciated
have a good day and run after your dreams like I would run after tom holland if I ever find him in my local target again,
beth

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  • January 27, 2021 - 6:40pm (Now Viewing)

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36 Comments
  • Writing4Life

    Aaah this is amazing! Oh so I'll run after Tom too? But yeah, I'm the same I really want to do entertainment stuff; acting, writing, singing, maybe even dancing 0-0


    3 months ago
  • The Ravenclaw Dragon

    Ha, this is so funny! "CLAUDIA- A smoothie made out of crushed hopes and dreams, with a dash of perpetual hatred for literally everyone in my life. HEALTH TEACHER- Wow- um. Delicious." Just the best. Keep on writing!


    3 months ago
  • Minvra

    I like the health teacher one. I have a sense of appreciation for dark humor. But I'm probably not a great comedian. Most of my jokes are terrible dad jokes or puns. Are hotdogs a subspecies of tacos? .

    I don't think I had people imply what profession they want to see me in. If I did, it flew over my head. But seriously, this is hilarious. Idk why but when I'm tired I get overly hyper or something.


    3 months ago
  • ✧♬TwinklingLights♬✧

    Perfect. that's it. here comes your 200th follower


    3 months ago
  • poetri

    re: Netflix pitch squad up m'lady. ALSO I have a ton of these but my favorite list to give newbies is this one because it is made specifically for teens (though I totally recommend getting your name out there as an adult as well--better publishing credits): https://dramatics.org/the-write-stuff/
    I hope this is helpful! I'd be happy to help with any other things, edits, etc. All the best :)


    3 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    XD XD XD XD OH WOW THIS IS EPICCCCCC


    3 months ago
  • V-Rose

    Re: I might race someday (I'm definitely an adrenaline junkie) but I do not have the money or time for it right now, but I promise I won't if I don't want to. :)


    4 months ago
  • V-Rose

    I love this! This is... very similar to my school life. Eerily similar.
    Job life has never been implied for me, but I can kind of understand. My dad had wanted me to become a dragster racer since I was eight and could technically drive a junior dragster. But don't let them break you. Let them imply all they want. But keep writing. Never stop that. Never. Be a doctor of the heart and make people laugh. Get your Ph.D. in humor and sarcasm. Knowing you, you could get it before most kids get out of high school.


    4 months ago
  • useless :)

    i do not comprehend how you can make every single line funny, its- wow
    but seriously this is so good!! and if you want to be a screenwriter or do any type of job like that (you'd be amazing at it) you should tell your parents and i think they'd be supportive if they knew how much it meant to you. also, (if you want) you should enter competitions because you could definitely win them, you're super talented!


    4 months ago
  • anemoia by a thread

    this. this. you, beth r, are a genius


    4 months ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    Lol there are two lines here that are arguably my favorite EVER in your writing - 1) "RYLER- My persuasive essay is on why hotdogs are, indeed, a breed of taco." and 2) "ALEX- DUDE. Don't mind him, that's just Ryler. He's elastic.
    INTERVIEWR- You mean eccentric? " XD


    4 months ago
  • cloudi

    this is absolutely hilarious XD


    4 months ago
  • poetri

    OH SIS I RELATE. Been working on a few shows as well rn as well and this was a pretty fun start to one :)
    My best advice if you're serious would be to enter these sorts of things in competitions to show your parents your good enough. If, like me, your biggest motivations are bitterness and spite, it should be a snap. I've got a ton of lists I can send you and I'd be more than happy to help with anything ya need. Also, if you make two pdfs of each script, one in screenplay format and one in stage play format, there's two things you can use and technically count it as "different" so you could enter it in more than one thing.
    Anyway, you don't want to be a doctor. I don't want to be a teacher. We both have an affinity for writing comedy scripts, a job that hardly exists. We should maybe stick together lol. (Be sure to hmu if you want any of those competition lists)


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: <3


    4 months ago
  • books4life

    re: aww thank you so much!!!! your comment meant everything. :)


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Somebody NEEDS to hire you to be their person for literally anything. YouTuber? Got it. Novelist? Yeah, probably. Scriptwriter? Sure.


    4 months ago
  • books4life

    #disneylchannelookout


    4 months ago
  • books4life

    OMG PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please continue this it's literary so iconic.


    4 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    okay i LOVE this! Your writing never fails to give a laugh (and sometimes a good cry) i feel you in the footnotes. the future is scary. but no matter what you do, you never have to stop creating (either stories, or art, or tv episodes).


    4 months ago
  • Rose A(hiatus)

    I can relate. my grandparents have been talking about me being a doctor for YEARS. Go be a screenwriter! I want to see your films on Netflix one day so I can be like "I knew that person! GO BETH!!"


    4 months ago
  • _Delphiruns2theocean_

    Re: Yes it's not the end end I'm going to keep adding more but I'm glad you liked it :) keep checking back!


    4 months ago
  • Dakota_Lyn (Hiatus- I'll be back :))

    "CLAUDIA- A smoothie made out of crushed hopes and dreams, with a dash of perpetual hatred for literally everyone in my life.
    HEALTH TEACHER- Wow- um. Delicious."
    THIS...Just THIS...BETH YOUR FREAKING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    4 months ago
  • rosemarywisdom

    I would love to hear about your TV show concept! I've been working on something similar - a workplace comedy that's timely to the era of Zoom and Google Meet. That and my arthouse Hollywood-hierarchy vignette compilation. Let me know!
    p.s: I'm going to film school to study screenwriting, so if you ever need advice... ask away!
    Yours,
    Rose


    4 months ago
  • SunV

    Beth! This is, firstly, hilarious XD. I am echoing everyone below, but what are you doing? Go! Be a screenwriter!

    And I can relate so much to this. My parents never imply that I have to be a doctor/lawyer/engineer, but it's like-- in their eyes. And it's freaky.

    Plus, they don't really care about my English grades, though that's pretty much the most important grade for me (the others too though!!!)


    4 months ago
  • sci-Fi

    MS. NORRIS I'M DYINGGGGGG
    anyhoo BETH THIS IS AMAZING GO BE A SCREENWRITER


    4 months ago
  • _Delphiruns2theocean_

    Wow, just wow. Also, read your footnotes and I can really relate. When I complain about a grade they're like "was it in math?" and when I say it was in English or something they are uninterested. My parents are both very math science-y and don't really know about my knack for writing. Except your writing is off the charts good :)


    4 months ago
  • rwong

    pls go on and write screenplays w chex mix commercials cause seriously this is genius
    oh and if you dont...eh you should still do it :) i have nothing else to say lol
    excuse me while i go reread this and receive weird stares from my family for laughing way too hard


    4 months ago
  • Shay

    IF THIS ISN'T MADE ONTO A TV SHOW IN THE NEXT TEN YEARS, I'M GOING TO... well I'll think of something... BUT I'LL DO IT. YOU'RE TOO GOOD BETH


    4 months ago
  • A. Penderwick

    This is quite brilliant. For some reason Claudia reminds me of Clarisse from the Percy Jackson books. I think it's the 'C' name.


    4 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    re: dr. holly's back must hurt from carrying the weight of that show smh


    4 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    [Jump cut to a montage of ALEX walking into the wrong classroom, leaning on none existant walls and falling, forgetting his locker combination, etc.]

    also this is me - excuse me did u pay ur fbi agent in cheetos to follow me around skool??
    beth how dare u


    4 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    *BANGS TABLE* GODDAMNIT BETH I LOVE THIS GO AND BE THE NEXT STEVE CARRELL GODDANGIT


    4 months ago
  • psithurism

    "MS. NORRIS: ALEX I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR YOU
    ALEX: [shrieks]" im wheezing XD


    4 months ago
  • beth r.

    i mean, they never said? i need to be a doctor? but like I feel like it, y'know. but they are supportive of my other work so.... maybe I'll casually be like "hey i wanna be a screenwriter" lol


    4 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    *chex STUPID AUTOCORRECT


    4 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Beth, this is a work of art and if your parents can't see that I will kidnap you and you WILL make this into a TV show!!!! >:)

    ... and yes, check mix is AMAZING


    4 months ago