Starlitskies

Sri Lanka

She/Her
17
INTJ
Reader and Writer
Feminist
Coder

Go check out my WtW twin sister Zirong! She's amazing!

Scribble Chums with remi'sgotinkstains, useless :) and em wilder.

est. 26 Oct 2020

Message to Readers

Can you believe I felt guilty writing this too? Well, I'm hoping to change that. :)
All feedback is welcome! And I hope you're having a great day/night!

The Crime in Writing

January 24, 2021

I want to write without guilt. 

I want to sit down at my laptop, type away and let myself succumb to the words inside me, spinning off in search of unmarked coordinates in unspecified directions. I want to write without the angel on my shoulder asking me why I'm sinning. What are you doing? Do you want to fail? Do you? D o   y o u? I want to ignore her voice and pin words together with asterisks without the guilt of committing this crime, when instead, I feel I should be calculating the entropy of things and folding rainbows into sun rays at precise wavelengths.

It's a crime to be writing when I should be buried in stacks of textbooks when pages already read have the chance to be reread, the equations already arranged have the time to be rearranged, and when the sums already solved deserve to entangle and unravel again and again and again. I don't want to give way to simple harmonic motion and live with the invariance of PV=nRT. Because how many times can PV equal to nRT before I lose my mind, before I lose all sense of time, but most of all lose in life?

I want to commit this crime so confidently till the laws of the universe bend and warp and splinter at all the right places. And when these laws have bent and warped and splintered, there won't be a crime in writing; there will only be a crime in not writing, because I am a writer and writing is me.
I have my med school entrance exam coming up next year and every time I try to write, this nagging voice in my head tells me that I shouldn't. It tells me that I'm wasting my time and I should be studying instead. But I am up to date with all my school work, I study regularly, do practice questions, attend all my classes and do everything that needs to be done. I think I'm doing well and doing enough to get into med school. It's just that my brain refuses to believe it. So this year, I'm gonna convince my brain that I should take a break once in a while and do the thing that quite literally ignites my heart with passion. I am going to write.

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  • January 24, 2021 - 7:44am (Now Viewing)

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15 Comments
  • nolongeractive

    Wowow, this is just magnificent and you have so much talent. I love the title and the paragraph styling and your diction and lines were absolutely breathtaking. Thank you for sharing, and I cannot wait to see what else you write.


    6 months ago
  • Odyssey

    Oh my gosh so good and relatable.


    7 months ago
  • useless :)

    re: thank you! :)
    i'll let you know when i change it!


    8 months ago
  • useless :)

    hi! since we haven't really talked yet i wanted to introduce myself, i'm useless! (i'm probably changing my user soon to a pen name, it's gonna be bella and then a surname, haven't figured that out yet) but yea lol. ur group name ideas were really good, and nice to meet you :)
    also, this piece is breathtaking and relatable. the imagery is gorgeous too. ur such a talented writer, and you should never feel guilty about it! :)


    8 months ago
  • remi'sgotinkstains

    Re: aww thanks! your comment was so sweet and kind and brought a big smile to my face. i couldn't rub it off for an entire hour! it made my morning ;)


    8 months ago
  • _Delphiruns2theocean_

    This is amazing! Not near college/med school myself I can't relate but hopefully you will continue to write because you're great at it!
    Re: Glad it gave you a laugh would love for you to check out more pieces of mine maybe a follow too? I'm also a feminist you might like I'm not Your Prize and the sequel I'm Not Your Edited Version :)


    8 months ago
  • wavewriter

    Wow, this is terrific. You just described your emotions so eloquently. Keep writing because you are amazing at it!!


    8 months ago
  • beth r.

    re: omg congrats!


    8 months ago
  • Ren(hiatus)

    This is so beautiful and gorgeous! I definitely relate since I have exams rn and I want to write a lot but alas. Though good luck on your exams! You'll do great, don't worry.


    8 months ago
  • beth r.

    "I want to commit this crime so confidently till the laws of the universe bend and warp and splinter at all the right places." I love this- the wording, the imagery- I can totally relate- gorgeous work!
    re: aw thanks!


    8 months ago
  • amaryllis

    *applause* Stunning piece. I didn’t even realize I felt guilty about it until I read this? Thank you :)


    8 months ago
  • Zirong

    "I want to write without the angel on my shoulder asking me why I'm sinning."

    "I feel I should be calculating the entropy of things and folding rainbows into sun rays at precise wavelengths."

    "Because how many times can PV equal to nRT before I lose my mind, before I lose all sense of time, but most of all lose in life?"

    AND the last paragraph!!! OMG!!!

    I love this piece so much!!! The sentiment is so relatable(guess I'm not as guilty as I would've been when I write only because I decide to pursue a literature major haha)

    You're definitely going to nail the med school entrance exam! But based on some videos I watched, life in med school is going to be crazy though. I hope you'll still have time to write after you get in!!! As always, love you so much <3<3<3


    8 months ago
  • remi'sgotinkstains

    yes, write until the writing is no crime but those who write are the committers! i love this. sometimes i get you: why am i writing when i should be doing homework, chores, etc?


    8 months ago
  • Yellow Sweater

    No one should feel guilty writing, but especially not if they can write like this! "I don't want to give way to simple harmonic motion and live with the invariance of PV=nRT" - Brilliant!


    8 months ago
  • astrea

    <3, go for it!


    8 months ago