I don't really know exactly what I want to do when I'm older but I think about it a lot. I know i wanna graduate high school and go to college but i am not sure what i wanna do. I have looked at some colleges like Georgia and Tennessee as well as UNC or florida. I know i don't wanna go to college here. I wanna go back down south where i am from. I really want to do something with film but that is a hard job to make good money so i might be a real estate agent. I love looking at houses with my mom because I have moved so much. I also love to design houses so i want to do something with houses. I know i want to travel so making money fast is important to me. I wanna travel to as many places as I can before I settle down. I know that it is gonna be expensive but i really want to do that. School has not been the most important thing in my life for a while now. Something about it just has become so difficult and too much for me to handle. I'm not sure if it is because I grew up and we stopped doing activities and drawing or if it is because of how pointless the subjects they teach are. Math has always been a touchy subject for me to learn. I've had tutors for as long as i can remember but it never worked for me. I think that discouraged me for trying harder in math cause the older you get the harder it gets, and i think that is the same thing for growing up in general. School has gotten harder and harder, especially since Corona. I think all of us highschool students have checked out way too much. The teachers try as hard as they can but us students have just mentally checked out because school has become so draining. For me, during break i was so much healthier and happier and as soon as school started back up i became sluggish and unmotivated. You turn your assignments in then do not look at your computer until the next morning. Everyone is sleep deprived and grades go up and down. It is the worst feeling. Parents yell at you if your grades drop because you are online but they do not know how much effort and energy we actually try to put into our work. It is only a grade to everyone. Even teachers have become so unmotivated. They hardly fix your grades or even check their emails. It is so difficult to get grades fixed or ask questions. Now we are hybrid, which makes it even worse. We can not even socialize or sit with our friends during lunch. We have assigned seats. All the juniors with their licenses were so excited to park in the student lot and now sophomores are allowed as well. You are not allowed to go out to lunch and there are cameras everywhere. Including classrooms. It is a jail. School has become a jail. People have become so depressed and stressed and instead of the school trying to reduce work or days like other schools they completely ignore their students. They force you to have your cameras on so now students who have a bully in that class or very insecure of their surroundings are forced to show all 25+ students. But hey whatever, do not care about others and their insecurities. The only thing the school expects from us is piles of work done by 11:59 on sunday night. Some teachers give students breaks with asynchronous days. Little do they know how happy that makes students. I know personally that when a teacher tells us we are asynchronous my mood boosts so much. Maybe I'm able to sleep in a little or even eat breakfast with my mom. Schools around the world are doing it differently but i think they should consider cutting our classes each day. I know we are supposed to be able to handle this but kids are dropping like flies with the work loud and hours. I don't know how much longer everyone will be able to handle online or hybrid.