Zinniav

United States

I'm 17, interested in linguistics, mathematics, philosophy, theology, and history.

She/ Her | Bi | Disabled | Agnostic | Useless Intellectual | WA

I don't necessarily agree with my own assertions.

Message to Readers

Very specific question: Are there two many "as's" in that fourth line?

Pink and Red

January 18, 2021

FREE WRITING

14
Your lips are pink. I can’t tell if it’s lipstick or love. 
I am frowning, halted, playing hopscotch with my breath, 

                                          but you are swathed in that pink dress, 
                                          as guileless as the summer I tried to paint as stifling.  

To falter is to wait to be sophisticated, 
           
                                           to wait until a pink heart turns red.  
 

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7 Comments

  • its.joyanna

    ooouu i love this ! the first line is my fav!


    about 1 month ago

  • Nikki

    Absolutely lovely! there is something just so raw and beautiful about this. the first line has to be my favorite. love it!


    about 2 months ago

  • Jj101

    I love this! I also don’t think that there are too many “as’s” I didn’t even notice. This piece is amazing!


    about 2 months ago

  • Paisley Blue

    Stunning. Wow... I absolutely love the rhythm of this and the flow of the words. Your subtle imagery is wonderful!!! :)


    about 2 months ago

  • amaryllis

    To answer your very specific question: no. I actually love the rhythm it gives that line, kinda going back to the hopscotch.


    about 2 months ago

  • R.j.Elsewhere

    Okay but the second line!!! Omg, my breath - stolen! I love this whole poem


    about 2 months ago

  • iamanna

    okay okay but this, this is really good


    about 2 months ago