She
15
*Joined in July*
Christian
Homeschooled
Girl Scout
Equestrian
LOTR and The Hunger Games
Peeta Mellark’s girl
(I officially claimed him on 9-24!)
Hunger spiraling, he crept across the bright sky, devouring, devouring. Noon turned to night in a matter of minutes, as the impulsive Eclipse covered the earth in a shadow. He sought to fill his great emptiness with the wonders of the blue above, so he swallowed it, consuming the clouds like cotton candy and drinking the curtain of blue like it was water. What would it be like if the world was thrown into this darkness indefinitely?
The earth protested, and the Eclipse was forced to abandon the cosmic feast and move onward. He ascended to the space beyond, gone as quickly as he arrived. But still we remember his presence. We haven’t forgotten his stuffed silence, wondering if the end had come as we stared at the darkness that followed after he gobbled up the sky.
Footnotes
I love this prompt idea! A thank you to the wonderful CA’s for their great examples of this prompt that helped inspire me to write this!
A few years ago, I watched a solar eclipse turn the sky dark in the middle of the day. It was an amazing experience that I don’t think I’ll be forgetting any time soon.
Re: Thank you! ^u^
Oh, it's a really fun show. It's a game show where super athletes train to compete in these crazy obstacle courses. If you've ever watched Wipeout, it's kinda like if that show was actually serious and professional (and not trying to sabotage the contestants). My favorite part about it is how much the ninjas care about and support their competitors. You should look up some of the obstacles; they're so cool. I actually got to see two ninjas in person when they came to speak at a megachurch near me. One of them, Daniel Gil, is now my favorite ninja.
Re: thank you so much for the review!! its awfully sweet for you to write one for me. actually, i can't see any reviews, not only yours but a lot of other people's too. i have sent a message to the admins. its going to get sorted. but nonetheless, thank you! i am so adding a list of people who helped me and you will be first! <3
Hiiii! can i ask for a favor? would you you mind reviewing a piece for me. its my entry for the book writing competition. and honestly, i would have never found the book if it wasn't for you :) if you can't do it, its totally understandable. i'll link it here. thank you! <3
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/212414/version/440490
ps: i love love love the cognate reference in your message board!
Re: Yep! Everything is so smooth lol. Now the only hardware in my mouth is a little bitty permanent retainer that I don't mind at all. And yuck that's no fun. I'm glad you're doing well tho.
phew, I feel like Eclipse is going to be the star of his own moody YA novel XD Great job personifying!! I really liked your word choice in this, but one thing you might want to try is shorter sentences between longer (and still awesome) sentences. Sometimes I could feel my eyes drifting (I DIDN'T WANT THEM TO). One way to stop that is by breaking up the flow w dif sentence types/lengths. But seriously, fantabulous job
Wow...I agree with Anne, the way you personify eclipse makes this piece really interesting! He gives me Brant vibes :) This piece is so good - it sounds like the prologue to a book. I think my favorite line would have to be "drinking the curtain of blue like it was water." so poetic :)
Re: Thank you so much for the feedback on my pieces! I really appreciate how specific you are about the feedback you give me, comments means more when you can see exactly how others look at your pieces (don't know if that made sense).
Re: When I think about her, I imagine her dancing in Heaven. She loved to dance so much, but had to stop because she moved away... She always wanted to come back and dance with us again. I feel like a missed a chance for a deeper friendship that I could've had if I'd written and emailed more often. I just can't imagine what her family must be feeling. They found a will she wrote in case she died. She told us to be happy for her and not to cry too much.
22 Comments
Emi (Revival Year #NEWYEAR)
Re: Nice!!! We got a sprinkling last night but it turned into rain. : ( But we got around two feet the week before Christmas.
FantasyOtter12
Pretty new pfp.. I like it :D
FastOceanLove
Great! Just getting ready to hit the surf once my wetsuit's dry :)
Emi (Revival Year #NEWYEAR)
Doing good! Enjoying a cool winter and hanging out with friends. How about you?
Emi (Revival Year #NEWYEAR)
Oh, I saw the partial eclipse a few years ago! This is such a beautiful description! Eclipses are always so fascinating!
Anne Blackwood
Re: Thank you! ^u^
Oh, it's a really fun show. It's a game show where super athletes train to compete in these crazy obstacle courses. If you've ever watched Wipeout, it's kinda like if that show was actually serious and professional (and not trying to sabotage the contestants). My favorite part about it is how much the ninjas care about and support their competitors. You should look up some of the obstacles; they're so cool. I actually got to see two ninjas in person when they came to speak at a megachurch near me. One of them, Daniel Gil, is now my favorite ninja.
LindytheRavenclaw
OHHH THIS IS AMAZING
HOW IS MY AMAZING SISTAH TODAY?
Nikki
Re: thank you so much for the review!! its awfully sweet for you to write one for me. actually, i can't see any reviews, not only yours but a lot of other people's too. i have sent a message to the admins. its going to get sorted. but nonetheless, thank you! i am so adding a list of people who helped me and you will be first! <3
Figwit
Re: Thanks! It saddens me that so many people let their beliefs, political affiliations, and worldview stand in the way of loving other human beings.
Anne Blackwood
Re: Oh that's cool. :) I haven't really done much today. I'm watching the latest season of American Ninja Warrior, so that's cool I guess.
Anne Blackwood
Re: Thank you! I'm doing well, thanks for asking. Hbu?
Lata.B
Re- I actully watched the movies and I think sam is just such a dear!
Nikki
Hiiii! can i ask for a favor? would you you mind reviewing a piece for me. its my entry for the book writing competition. and honestly, i would have never found the book if it wasn't for you :) if you can't do it, its totally understandable. i'll link it here. thank you! <3
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/212414/version/440490
ps: i love love love the cognate reference in your message board!
Figwit
Re: <3
Anne Blackwood
Re: Yep! Everything is so smooth lol. Now the only hardware in my mouth is a little bitty permanent retainer that I don't mind at all. And yuck that's no fun. I'm glad you're doing well tho.
Anne Blackwood
Re: Thanks and you're welcome! I'm doing pretty well. I got my braces off yesterday!! How're you?
ANSON REYNOLDS
phew, I feel like Eclipse is going to be the star of his own moody YA novel XD Great job personifying!! I really liked your word choice in this, but one thing you might want to try is shorter sentences between longer (and still awesome) sentences. Sometimes I could feel my eyes drifting (I DIDN'T WANT THEM TO). One way to stop that is by breaking up the flow w dif sentence types/lengths. But seriously, fantabulous job
mindfruit (hiatus)
Wow...I agree with Anne, the way you personify eclipse makes this piece really interesting! He gives me Brant vibes :) This piece is so good - it sounds like the prologue to a book. I think my favorite line would have to be "drinking the curtain of blue like it was water." so poetic :)
Re: Thank you so much for the feedback on my pieces! I really appreciate how specific you are about the feedback you give me, comments means more when you can see exactly how others look at your pieces (don't know if that made sense).
Anne Blackwood
I love the way you personify Eclips like this!
laceybug
reply: thank you! i have 1 older sister, 1 younger sister (2 now), and 2 younger brothers. there all a pain in the butt but i love them!
Figwit
Re: When I think about her, I imagine her dancing in Heaven. She loved to dance so much, but had to stop because she moved away... She always wanted to come back and dance with us again. I feel like a missed a chance for a deeper friendship that I could've had if I'd written and emailed more often. I just can't imagine what her family must be feeling. They found a will she wrote in case she died. She told us to be happy for her and not to cry too much.
Figwit
This is so creative! I love it!
Re: Thanks so much. I know she'd want me to smile for the times we had rather than cry for the times we didn't.