Luca3+3+3+3+3

United States

Yo
I'm a 8th Grader from Philly
I try to write on my free time
city kid
Play sports

Message to Readers

I would love if people could give me tips on the formatting of poems in general.

The Striking Tune

January 15, 2021

The stimulating tune marches up the halls 
the tune echoing off the walls,
the synchronicity seemingly falling
the sound is stalling
the piercing discordant tune shaking throughout the corridor
it was as soft as silk, but as hard as stone,
the lustrous melody becomes controlling,
the milieu begins to shift and reconstruct
vines erect from the sacred earth 
luscious viridescent grape vines latch onto the walls
the melody governs the vegetation with mastery
as the greenery grows, the sound trickles and belows
the melody creeps toward its slumber
as the bear turns toward his castle of fantasy
where all rest silent
as a ultimate finale the descant emits its wisdom
for all who listen will perceive generation
as a growing organism, enlarging and expanding to time's end
​comprehend life as it amplifies and pursues
the love and creation that is made by the tune

Print

See History
  • January 15, 2021 - 3:54pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

4 Comments
  • ashleywritesstuff

    This is beautiful! As for tips, I kind of suck at formatting poems myself so I don't think I could say anything helpful, but I normally just work with it for a while until it "feels right" and flows well I guess.


    3 months ago
  • ~Zoe N~

    This is beautiful!


    4 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    agreeing with journal.scribbles—the diction is just... it sings. it's musical.
    Welcome, welcome, welcome to WtW! It's a wonderful and warm community.


    4 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    Wow, the word choice in this piece is amazing. I love how creatively you used the prompt! Those last three lines are especially beautiful to me. I just read your message box. I'm really bad at giving tips, but reading lots of poetry has helped me find my voice in formatting. Sometimes, I just type out the entire poem in a paragraph and then play around with line breaks until it feels right.

    I see that you're new to WtW - welcome!!! The community here is super kind and supportive, and we'd all be glad to answer any questions you may have. I can't wait to read more of your amazing work!


    4 months ago