anemoia (#words)

United States

WtW's resident "the cool cousin you see once a year, but the conversation you guys were having a long time ago picks up where it left off without missing a beat" (rosi)

Child of God
athletic nerd


Message to Readers

1.15.21: republishing... still mulling over this napoleon musical thing.
1.13.21: people are telling me this gives them hamilton vibes, which is pretty cool. (by people, i mean... two?) i confess i've never seen hamilton. I'M SORRY, OUR WIFI ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH! I really, really, really want to see Hamilton, though. And a hundred other things. But there is no solution for the WiFi thing. We've looked, we've tried.

uh i think i put it all in the footnotes?

"napoleon's problems" (rewrite of champagne problems)

January 15, 2021



[Verse 1]
You signed the treaties for a reason
So you had Europe under control
Losing your pride or losing Russia
You’re not sure which was worse

Because you, lost Trafalgar by Spain
The Brits kept causing you pain
Five years, you lose your fame
Napoleon’s problems
Six years, Spain’s guerrilla fighters
Start weakening the Empire
Peninsular War became dire
Napoleon’s problems

[Verse 2]
You invaded Russia for a reason
They weren’t obedient
Took soldiers, five hundred thousand
Barely a fifth of them remained

Moscow, you thought you’d take it
Went up in flames, you didn’t
Cold, hunger, and exhaustion
Napoleon’s problems
You had to leave, retreating
Victory beyond your reaches
And you couldn’t give a reason
Napoleon’s problems

The five great powers met in secret
Congress of Vienna, swore they’d keep it
Established peace and balance of power
Metternich said, “Well, it’s back to monarchy
How democracy, it failed in France
Don’t think we’ll use that idea again
And we’ll surround France with stronger nations 
Restore all the kings and queens”
With fair decisions, wise to the bone
You never were ready, but they made you go
And they had forty years of peace 
Across the continent of Europe
The Congress of Vienna worked out well
“A victory for conservatives,” they said
They restored the monarchies instead
They patched up the tapestry that you shred

And exiled you to a new island
No army to command
You’ll die a lonely man
With Napoleon’s problems
Five years, you were the greatest
Your pride claimed you’d made it
They won’t remember all of 
Napoleon’s problems

They won’t remember all of 
Napoleon’s problems
Update as of 1.10.20, 9:15 pm (PST): edited a few lyrics to match my final version and changed title. Also, sorry if I'm late on the replies... if it's a conversation, I strive to get back to you within the week. If it's not, then I may not reply. Shoutout to -<paperback writer>- and Stone of Jade (I will reply to you soon!) for their support, comments, amazing writing, conversations, and stories that made me feel. Much thanks to everyone who welcomed me back to WtW after hiatus! I can hardly believe how good you all were about... every aspect of it.
This was a project for history: rewrite the lyrics of any song with 10 historical facts about the Napoleonic Wars and the Congress of Vienna. I considered "Viva La Vida" (Coldplay) and "The Archer" (Taylor Swift) before settling on "champagne problems" (Taylor Swift). It worked out much better. 
This is *mostly* historically accurate, but you can dispute the number of troops Napoleon took to Russia. I saw several different numbers. He took a certain number of combatants as well as extra people, like aides and, I don't know, cooks and medics? I didn't do a lot of research. 
I can also play this song on the ukulele now! I'd share the recordings, but I don't have an easy way to do it. Sometimes I'm lazy.
Anyway, this was a lot of fun. Enjoy, and don't be afraid to sing it to the tune of "champagne problems" as it ought to be sung.


See History

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  • ava09 (sorta back)

    read this awhile ago and didn't comment but i really love this i sang it through myself and it's a bop xd. great parody!!

    3 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    re: someday lady (you'll accomp'ny me)

    aaaaaaaa- you saw him in concert???? woAh-

    4 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    4 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    Chapter 27 of Traitors and Rebels has been published

    4 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    re re: yes, there is redemption for a certain adonis, in a way

    4 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    re: no, the bookstore owner being black isn't a historical inaccuracy, but rather the time period in which the story is set -- i'm not really sure, it's just a mix of everything colonial, victorian, etc.

    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thanks. :) Don't worry, I'm over that person romantically now. But it's hard not to miss someone that I cared about so much.

    4 months ago
  • ~rain~

    Re: Thank you! I haven't read the new book yet, I will though!

    4 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender

    WHAT, HOLD THE PHONE! I came to check in with my Keeper fan girl sister, and I saw you are dating a real person?!?!

    4 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    this is amazing!! Also I love Vi Va La Vida--great song haha. Also glad to hear your ukulele endeavors are paying off! I havent played mine in awhile. I think i spent more time painting it that i have played it XD but thats just me--more artsy than musical haha
    aawwwww thank you for the shout out. you are so so sweet! I love our convos--and it goes the same for you too. your encouragement means so so much <3
    also it would be so cool to see a Napoleon musical (like Eremurus mentioned).

    okay..i got caught up in this amazing song. Chapter 26 is out for Traitors and Rebels ;)

    4 months ago
  • ~rain~

    Wow this is great and interesting! I like how you've turned it into a song and not just "Oh yeah this is a poem". Also I really like that it's to Taylor Swift's song Champagne Problems, very creative! By the way yes I definitely got the Hamilton vibes :) and you should see it... it's amazing!

    4 months ago
  • Tushar Mandhan

    re- i can only read with concentration. idk how some people read while music playing in background :P No wonder about that they gave us 'philosophy,' 'democracy' and *taking words from 'the crown'* 'Queen's husband.'

    4 months ago
  • U S E R N A M E S (W R IT I NG HIA T US)

    Very beautiful prose! Thanks for sharing!

    Re: Thank you!

    4 months ago
  • Eremurus

    Re: d o n t w r i t e t h e n e x t h a m i l t o n w r i t e t h e f i r s t n a p o l e a n m u s i c a l

    4 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    re: yes, you can use the title - i don't mind

    4 months ago
  • Eremurus

    Re: ya know, I would try to clarify my stance on things but I don't know what I could say beyond what you have, pretty much sums it up.
    ALSO, this is a really cool idea. fascinated.

    4 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    n a p o l e o n m u s i c a l p l e a s e

    4 months ago
  • Abigail Faith

    Oooo sounds super cool!!!! Now I gotta look it up!! :D
    Yeah, I get it. It's hard to find the time to write. Anyways, hope you have an awesome day!! <3

    4 months ago
  • Tushar Mandhan

    it's great idea.....i wish history was taught in this way, it would've so much fun.
    re- The albatross is actually from Samuel Taylor Coleridge's poem called 'the rhyme of ancient mariner' and yes, lately i was crazy about French books, movies, yes! Now I'm over it *at least i hope so* and i don't mind questions. And thanks a lot like a lot....anything even worthy of comparing to Taylor is just *i don't have words* Also the way Taylor is using literary and historic references in her songs these days, maybe one day she might write Napoleon's problems or something like that XD

    4 months ago
  • Emi

    Never heard "Champagne Problems," but I have to say I love the history in this!
    You should write up a broadway play..."Napoleon" could be the next Hamilton. : )

    4 months ago
  • Ahsan Nizaam

    The hard work you put into this is evident. I've never been a history fan but your piece intrigue me. It's beautiful

    4 months ago
  • Nikki

    Omg! this is so sweet! even i am a Taylor swift fan!! also, i love your pfp :)
    i think that champagne problems would probably be my favorite song along with 'tolerate it'. what about you?

    4 months ago