Tushar Mandhan


'illegitimi non carborundum'

Message from Writer

I'm letting life hit me until it gets tired, the I'm gonna hit back. It's a classic rope-a-dope.
-La La Land

colombo port

January 15, 2021



orchid florets growing in china holder,
our songs ended before we sang chorus.
told my friends about everything,
"the best joke you cracked in five years," they commented.
camellia seeds sown; grew into acacia thorns,
the scenes were blue but spikes pierced the hue.
now i’m standing on colombo port,
waiting for a wave to take me home.
all the ships have sailed with men telling chirpy tales.
the sailor said, ‘the boats might sink in waves like that.”
so i’m standing on colombo port,
breathing the air coming from my home.

threw fourteen pennies in the sea;
hoping for the best that could happen to me.
told the stranger, ‘my network’s down’,
“nothing’s fancy in life they should know about,” he frowned.
bought an egg of crow; hatched into an albatross,
flew to the deck before it was hung around the neck.
now i’m standing on colombo port,
waiting for a wave to take me home.
could have walked but the lost bridge broke in 14th century,
and if i jumped off the coast, it would be self-treachery.
So I’m standing on colombo port
rusting my nails so they don’t bend when i hammer them evermore.


See History
  • January 15, 2021 - 1:38am (Now Viewing)

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  • Lata.B

    you're literally a genius. Every line to this piece is just brilliant like "our songs ended before we sang chorus." and that's just the start. ok wow! I'm impresses!

    AHHH YOU WANNA READ THE STORY!! Ok that makes me so happy. But take your time because it is long! Thank you! (Yea that's happening to me too, I think this website is down)

    4 months ago
  • anemoia by a thread

    Gosh I love this piece. As silly as it is, I wish I could like those piece a dozen times. I feel like you’re existing on another plane of reality when it comes the writing.
    Re on NEW YEAR: ok I super appreciate you looking a few of my recent pieces so... happy late new year to you to
    Re on holiday vibes: I know, I’m so glad Taylor is signed with a label that believes she should own her work. I’m so excited to hear her rereleases... hope she changes a few things up actually, like intonation, pronunciation, emphasis. What were your other thoughts on the piece, if any?
    Re on Southern California: wow tysm. means a lot from you. That is pretty much the highest praise! Have you been to SoCal? (I’m definitely a northern Cali, like, small town kind of girl, so I guess I’m biased in that song. But i totally acknowledged good things about SoCal in the end! Like sunshine.)
    Alas, if only I had a clear idea of what I wanted it to sound like. If only I could sing.
    Re on your re: I look for Taylor reference in most works esp yours. You don’t have to avoid it necessarily! It just shows how much other artists and writers can influence you.

    well if I’m not creeping toward delusional on these replies... how will you respond to all my craziness? You don’t even have to try. Clearly brain is only half functioning. Which is an excuse I’ve been claiming on most comments lately.

    5 months ago
  • anemoia by a thread

    Ok, replying to the Napoleon comment: yeah I wish history was taught that way too.
    Oh, I’ll have to look into the poem. I can’t believe you’ve heard of the elegance of the hedgehog! It took a lot of concentration for me to really read it, which I’m not used to, since I read mostly for enjoyment. But it was fascinating.

    5 months ago
  • anemoia by a thread

    Re: huh I never thought about the “of course I love you...” piece being musical at all. And yes, isn’t that cool? The Greeks actually had lots of words for what we think is one word. And love is so nuanced.
    Haha I can’t believe ibex got similar feels form it.

    5 months ago
  • Ibex

    as "hold on to the memories" has stated, this is song material. and I also thought the albatross was a Bastille reference... is it? honestly, this is such a cool piece, somehow mysterious but also relatable... wow.

    5 months ago
  • anemoia by a thread

    okay from the first line is tarted singing a random and inconsistent tune as i read. the repetition, the slight rhyme... song material.
    SONG MATERIAL WORTHY OF MS. SWIFT! also, did i catch a Bastille reference? with the albatross? and of course, you know i'm gonna mention the "evermore" line at the end. i confess, i don't analyze this kind of deeply touching work, because i'm afraid if i think about it too much or ask what it means, then it'll lose some of its original beauty and mystery. that being said, i don't fully understand this piece, but i do revel in its words. also, was there an "The Elegance of the Hedgehog" reference in the camellias? it's not a terribly popular book, and it's french, and it's not my usual reading material, but the camellias struck me.
    also, the tune of ed sheeran's afterglow is stuck in my head, so that was pervading/influencing how i sang this piece in my head.
    sorry, that was long-winded. maybe just long.

    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thank you!
    I've heard of that musical and it sounded pretty good, but upon listening to some of the soundtrack, I was a bit disappointed and didn't finish it. I don't remember why for sure, but there were probably too many swears for me to care to listen to any more. "I'm Still Hurting" is really good though. (and have you heard Antonio Cipriano's cover?!)

    5 months ago
  • Ree Sethu

    beautiful work!

    5 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    OHHHH I loved this. The imagery the repeats! This is everything. I need to read more of your work Tush and I need more people to notice you ahhhhh

    5 months ago