acrosstheuniverse28

United States

Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
She/her
Ballerina
Ravenclaw
Tolkien-ite
Psych-o
Beatlemaniac
(Yay classic rock)
Amateur astronomer
History buff
Musical Lover
Est. March 2020

Message to Readers

Proofreading? Editing? Formatting? Never heard of 'em. So, if you have feedback or suggestions, let me know! And as always, if you need/want a review, drop a link in the comments!

I Pray I've Made You Proud

January 7, 2021

FREE WRITING

7
I hope it's okay
that I'm only doing the best I can
I know that's all You asked of me
But I still
feel
like it's not
enough

I've tried to stop comparing
apples and oranges
No use trying to be an orange
when I'm an apple, right?
And I'm doing better

I think

I'm more focused on myself
On finding my own source of joy
Finding my own abilities
And where I can still improve

Improve

Always so much improving to do
"Just try your best," they say
"Work hard and you'll eventually improve"
(Eventually, that's funny. Sorry,
I'm just impatient)
So I keep trying and working
But am I improving?
I would say no

But then again
maybe I'm not the best person to be judging myself
Maybe I'm my own worst enemy

I may be getting better
but I'm still comparing myself to others
(I'm not trying to, I promise)
But I know You only compare me
to the person I was yesterday

So I'll try to do the same

And I pray with all my heart
I will improve
Because I want to be better than yesterday

I want to make You proud

So I'll keep doing my best
I guess
Just like everyone tells me to
Just like You tell me to do
I'll do my best to trust
Trust in the process
Trust myself
Trust You

And someday I'll show You
Everything I have learned during this time 
You have blessed me with
I know my growth will be modest 
compared to the exponential growth of others 
But I have a feeling
Deep within my bones
That You won't care

Someday
I'll return to Your presence
I will show you how far I was able to make it 

I will dance my heart out
for You

And I sincerely pray
that on that day
I will have made You proud




 
Woah, it's been a hot second since I've posted something here. How's it going everyone? Hope you're all staying safe, healthy, and happy!
As a dancer, I often struggle with self esteem. It was much worse when I was younger; I've become much more confident over the years... But I still sometimes find myself slipping back into those old habits of comparing myself to others and trying in vain to reach that mythical state of perfection. But in the end, I try to remind myself that no decent person is going to expect me to be perfect, so I shouldn't expect perfection from myself either. Ultimately, we should all be proud of ourselves simply for trying. For exploring our unique talents. For finding joy in the process. Those who truly love you will be proud of you no matter how "good" or "perfect" you are.
K, the rant is over. Hopefully if you read it, it made sense and didn't bore you to death <3<3<3

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  • January 7, 2021 - 2:52pm (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • useless :)

    re: thank you so much :)


    3 months ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    re: thank you so much! :)


    4 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    Powerful.
    Re: thank you for those kind words! ooh, i would def feel cool if i could play a few beatles songs. i've practiced like 3 chords, but reading music is still my struggle. like, i can follow the chord diagrams, but i'm going to have to do more research. but the uken isn't my top priority rn, just a background project that looks good sitting against my wall. XD


    4 months ago
  • The Secret Society of Purple Iguanas of Death Online

    Thank you for your comment on my piece! You’re good! I hope you keep writing


    4 months ago