Wisp

United States

i still dream of you

est. 26.9.19

Message to Readers

[Long Overdue} #januarygifting
Reina - Queen in Spanish

Reina

February 26, 2021

FREE WRITING

14

Reina, 
for all the years of my life, i've never been in love, 
but somehow, when i'm with you, it feels like i have. 
you drop i love you's and dear's and darling's like jewels
and i cannot help but catch them in bare palms, carefully 
burying them within the confines of my heart, where
perhaps i've learned what it means to love another. 

Reina
you effortlessly craft palaces for all to wonder and behold;
and i wonder sometimes, how someone as brilliant as you 
has come to notice one such as i, because you are the 
rainbow at the end of storms, you are the wings to the fallen, 
you are a love that comes only once every lifetime. 

Reina, 
sometimes, i'll forget how to write, forget why i love it so 
dearly. and then there's you, shining so radiantly, with pieces 
that make me fall in love with the art of writing again and again. 
with pieces that make me feel emotions from lifetimes before;
i'll forget how to write sometimes, but you're always there to 
teach me what it means to be a writer, teach me how to string 
words into gold. one day, i hope i'll be able to gift you gold, 
just as you have done for me

Reina, 
my queen, i do not tell you nearly enough, but you deserve 
the world and so much more. it's been an honor to hold your 
hand, an honor to collect your jewels, and the truest honor 
of all, has been getting to know you. so, my queen, know that
when the sun dawns, i'll gift you gold. time and time again. 
The Letter Never Written 

To Dmoral (the Queen, the Legend, the Icon) 

    I've written this letter a thousand times in my head, found memories of you tucked between the pages of prose and poetry that I had long forgotten, and relearned the art of writing. There are fragments of lines, fragments of moments that have made up this letter I've never written to you. It began with "Dear Dmoral" and lines intertwined with one another within my mind, never making it to the ink on the screen. But here I am, and I'll write you the letter never written, but always thought of. 

    The first piece I ever read of yours was Society in Monarchy, and it was one of the first pieces I ever liked as well. In a way, you were one of the firsts to introduce me to WtW, the first person that made me realize the different forms of poetry that came with it. And over the months, it hasn't stopped. I'll let you in on a little secret Dmoral, sometimes when I'm in a little writing stump, I'll go back and reread your pieces and take some elements from it (actually your name poetry was the inspiration for this piece), and it never fails to boost me up. Your words are so much more than words on a page, they're teachings, they're musings, they're hopes and dreams and youth. 

    There was this short period of time between the migration that I interacted with you. Now, you probably don't remember, but it always stuck with me over the last few months. Like that one time when I was scrolling through your liked pieces on here (that sounds so stalkerish) and I saw a piece written by me in there. And I cannot tell you how happy seeing that made me, I cannot tell you how I stopped scrolling and forgot all about what I was doing, I cannot tell you how seeing it made me reread it and fall in love with the piece. I think that was the moment, the moment where our worlds briefly collided and my adoration began. 

    I remember this one time on Prose when you tagged me, and gosh was I astonished. You give off that feeling sometimes you know? That celebrity-out-of-this-world aura that makes everything you do feel like so much more. And I saw that tag, and I guess that was the moment where I realized that you did actually notice me. As odd as it sounds, that simple thing made me so ecstatic. There was this other moment as well, you read all of my latest pieces on Prose and liked them. I forgot about that for a while, but when I was reading your pieces it suddenly occurred to me. You know that feeling where your [WtW] idol suddenly starts noticing you? Yeah, that's how it felt. There's this piece that you said was your new favorite of mine on there, and I've held it in high regard since. You know, you make me refall in love with my work, you make me realize the beauty in it that I forget, you make me remember why I love to write so much. 

    You told me once, "A falta de pan, buenas son tortas." And honestly, you make me feel the exact same way. You thank me for reading your work, being the support, being it all, but Dmoral, you deserve it all, you deserve the kind comments and six hour car rides dedicated to reading your work, and you deserve all of that and so much more. Because you're not just an idol, you're a mentor to all of us younger WtW generations and you've helped us in more ways than one. 

    There was this time where I just didn't quite feel like myself. You know those out of body experiences? Or those times where you think you're just in autopilot in the car of your life? Yeah, it was like that. And it was around that time that I started reading your work. I spent six hours that first day in the car just reading all your pieces from back then. I was pumped for the first time in a while, excited for something as simple as reading. You gifted me that, gifted me that joy in words, that happiness and confidence. You know those comments on your work where I simply go off topic and ramble on and on about absolutely nothing related to the piece itself? Well, thank you so much for that. Sometimes it's hard for me to process things and emotions, but then I read your work and it all comes out. I think I've revealed more about myself to you then I intended honestly. And you always put up with these little things, these rambles, these comments where I'm just embarrassed of my old comments, these hyperexcited expressions, you put up with it all. I'm not quite sure how, but somewhere along the way of reading your work, I learned to embrace myself and I learned to be comfortable with who I am. You thank me for reading your work, but I have to thank you for it. You have no idea how much reading it has helped me. I dare say that it's even helped me become a better person, and for that I cannot help but give you my utmost adoration and thanks. (Also, I'm sorry I never quite finished, everything just gets crazily busy sometimes, but I'm telling you, it will all be read one day.)

    When I came here, I was really confident in my writing. But I set myself up too high, and of course I was bound to fall. My confidence shattered being on here, but during the last few months, you helped me pick up the pieces and put them back together again. You taught me how to be confident in what I write, how to become a better writer and person, and how to keep going no matter how far back I fall. 

    I'll gift you gold one day. 

Love, Wisp 

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  • February 26, 2021 - 6:57pm (Now Viewing)

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22 Comments
  • hi i'm jackson ;)

    re: oh my gosh I thought I had replied I'm sorry
    thanks, if my email ever lets me back in I'll be sure to say hello :)
    well, I guess objects at rest tend to stay at rest...haha, but yea, that sucks I'm sorry.
    ah I'm sorry about your anxiety, and I'm honestly not sure how to be comforting about these things but just remember: grades don't define who you are as a person, they're just a crappy system that was not actually invented with the intent of rating people. and it doesn't matter what kinds of grades you get or what tests you fail, you have friends who don't give a crap about that kind of stuff(like me) and you have value outside of school.
    yeah, lots of teachers tend to do that, it sucks. I'm sorry misty
    it was a week of fun classes for the whole school so the teachers get a chance to grade without having to grade fast over spring break, and then the week after was spring break. my school is one of the more humane/caring schools, although it still does suck sometimes.
    yeah so do I lol
    how are you these days? I'm so sorry I didn't respond sooner, I've missed ya
    I have a story for you: yesterday I was out skating and I met two cats!!! I hadn't petted a cat in like six months, id missed them so much! it was wonderful :D


    about 1 month ago
  • hi i'm jackson ;)

    re: yeah, and thanks for the offer anyways :)
    who knows indeed, its such a strange and happy thing when the void spits things back out haha
    yeah i get that, sometimes you just need a real break. i totally understand the whole "lack of motivation" thing, and sleeping in is such a wOnderful thing lol
    im sorry youve been so overworked and burnt out, but at least you have a week to relax. and stressing over no stress must suck a whole heck of a lot and im very sorry.
    caring does seem to be hard, yeah
    yeah, most teachers need to realize that we are already struggling enough with life (especially with the whole covid thing) and we dont revolve around them.
    :) you are very welcome friendo :D
    lol, thank you very much
    and yeah, its kinda like that...nice to see that people can indeed change if they want to
    also i get a week of fun class, this week, and i got into a science fiction discussion and we got to watch Inception and Arrival today and i LOVED them :D
    also look: [|87
    its a plague doctor face


    about 1 month ago
  • Dmoral

    re: lovely lovely comment in which i def loved. however, your personal email's out there and out of privacy and respect for you, do you want to take the comment down? i screenshotted the comment so i could always go back to the kind words ;) <3...thank you and expect an email as soon as school & work lets me have free time lol


    about 2 months ago
  • hi i'm jackson ;)

    oh and i just realized my email wont let me in rn so maybe someday i'll email you but...my devices are all turning against me ;/


    about 2 months ago
  • hi i'm jackson ;)

    what are you talking about, Mr. Bear is the best name ever XD but yeah, i hate losing things lol
    thank you for the love, but im not sure i'll be able to find it, it's either somewhere at my school, the church I go to youth group at, or...i dont know, the void? haha
    and i am very, very glad youre alive. im sorry youve been so swamped with schoolwork, that really sucks. im glad you get a break though, are you doing anything over break or just relaxing?
    (my spring break is next week, and i wont be doing anything)
    ive been alright. yesterday and the day before were amazing days, so im very glad that they happened, even though today is going kinda sucky. how about you, are you doing well?
    see, i would edit it, but it takes effort lol and i dont have much energy to expend these days.
    dude i feel you, school really kinda sucks. its unfair the amount of work they dump on everyone. you better enjoy this week while you can haha
    :))) thank you, you have brightened up the world a little bit for me. sometimes its hard to see the good in things, especially these days, but you keep reminding me with your existence that theres still good out there somewhere :)
    you are indeed the kind of person who just wants to help people, you'd be good at anything you do but i can really see you being a pediatrician
    lol im a good while away from a show, but if i ever accomplish it i will most definitely send you a ticket ;) ive wanted to write songs for pretty much ever, so maybe someday i'll figure it out
    hey, whats wrong with living under rocks? rocks are nice lol
    but yeah hes a pretty nice guy. it's pretty interesting to be able to look at his whole career so far and see how far he's come. makes me feel a little nostalgic, he was making music in a band when i was still pretty small and he still is now, its crazy lol
    but tell me! how have you been! (& thanks for the email btw)


    about 2 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    re: Oh gosh, your comments never cease to make my heart flutter in delight. Your words just touch my heart in such a way no one's done before, not even from people I've known my own life. You have definitely ignited a little place in my heart, a place where only you have the key, Shizu! So, thank you, thank you!
    oh no need to apologize! I do understand, very much, that life gets a little, or very, hectic at times. :)) Well, I've been a tad tired recently, a little exhausted. It's nothing like a burn out, but definitely a little bit more of a push of urgency than normal. Our school has really been pushing out new plans and such, and since I need to enter high school next year, they've really been catching up on us for that matter. I think though, life outside of school has been flourishing. So, I guess the both of them balance each other out. :) How have you been? Alright I hope?
    Yay! You're on spring break! I hope you don't have much spring break homework! It'll be better if you didn't have any so you can really have it off this week! I have mine in around two weeks so we're almost there, almost. Oh yes! That is so true! I do find myself finishing up assignments, not last minute, but closer to the deadline than the start haha.
    ooh, I guess a big part of journalism is experimenting different styles. That's so interesting! I hope the whole experience for you, overall, has been a fun ride! Oh, I see. For us, a part of our Student Government is journalism so that's something new.
    hmm, our teacher assigned us with a backtrack (like the instrumentals) of this song, and gosh, it's been the longest project. It feels like I've dragged it for months haha, but we're slowly making progress. It still sounds nothing like its supposed to, but its getting there one instrument a time. :)) piano has been going really, really well recently. Back in Februrary, I had to take a piano exam, and I got my results back, so it feels like a huge load has been taken off my shoulders. So, that's been nice. Hm, oh and my piano teacher told me that my sister and I could do in-person lessons starting this Wednesday, so that's a first since a year ago. Speaking of returning back, my district decided to begin a plan on opening school again, so that's also interesting, though I may have to think a little bit more about that decision haha.
    I hope you get to take a rest and recharge, shizu! all the best! <3


    about 2 months ago
  • Dmoral

    pt 2: yikes, ik i implied i'd back soon but i got distracted lol. anyways...

    i remember beginning my interactions with you on Prose, i...i was like "hey, i know her! let's welcome her to the party" and yeah, my gut told me i would like you and honestly? totally right! i even remembering msging you on Prose (i don't reach out to writers beyond comments and i suck at the whole msging back and forth thing, so it was a new concept for me) and wanted to say thank you, return the favor. and i wish you were on WTW sooner so i could go read all your pieces too like you do for me (throwback when i had free time), but also, you came at such an important part of my writing journey and another golden age for WTW that i can't imagine you coming at a different time. you started this domino effect of people saying how much they admire and like me, and Wisp, i want you to know people feel the same way about you. heck, i'll start your domino, you're absolutley bloody amazing.

    also, you wrote me a letter! *cries*. i write letters no one writes me letters this just, this hits me differently. you took my letter writing and name titled poetry and came out with a piece i absolutely adore--specialized to me? *cries*

    you remember the Spanish proverb i gave you? that's....ack, i thought those would get lost in translation but you remember and know what i was talking about and Wisp you get things on a whole new level.

    you've become a writer i won't ever forget about and has impacted my writing journey as much as you say i have yours. i will always have a bias toward you because you're so sweet and supportive, and your work will never end to amaze me because you're so so talented. and even with inactivity, i still check in daily for like 5 mins of certain WTW/prose accounts and kinda go all "friendly ghost" and read pieces but not like/comment cause i know once i start i'll spiral and lose track of time. nevertheless, i read your work more than you may think and i love it all the same (even when i forget to comment/like---oops). and i was confident in my writing too when i joined WTW almost 3 years ago (oof so long ago), then i read pieces of now WTW alumni and it shattered me. but it helped me grow into the writer i am today, so i want you to know, i know your journey and i get it. but you're also amazing and a good writer. even when writing sucks or your pieces suck. but me being part of building your confidence? that was you, i was just on the sidelines supporting and cheering because i always believe in writers and people like you.

    i feel myself leaning away from WTW and *shivers* growing up...soon i fear i will have to go entirely. but i won't start unpublishing my pieces until you've finished them completely...i promise you have plenty of time before i leave completely. so don't stress, and thank you.

    p.s
    you're always welcome to know my writer's email, never feel to scared/nervous to ask. also, i don't mind Prose msg convos or WTW comment convos (i just may take forever to respond lol). what i'm trying to say is, i'm always up for a nice check-up chat with you.

    wishing you the absolute best ~

    *a pt 3 is sure to come at some point...*


    about 2 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    Re: Will do, thank you!


    about 2 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    re: Oh my! Thank you so much for just talking with me (or commenting with me haha) Over the course of our comments, I had just realized you've grown to be such a comfort zone for me. Just the way you let me rant or the way you answer all my random questions, it just makes my heart warm so much. I love you so much more, Shizu! <3<3
    And gosh, you are most certainly one of the most considerate people I know :) I'll be sure to take of myself now! Oh Shizu! I hope your classes would tone down a bit. We all need a breather, I hope you get yours soon! And woah. You actually do a lot of things in the beginning? That's so cool. I'm surrounded with people who like to do things towards the end, so you're definitely a first! ;)
    Journalism? Ooh! I'm sure you're great at it! Any plans on becoming a journalist? Or do you have any sort of habit with journaling? My English teachers have been urging us to journal and write down our days in journals, but I just can't seem to grasp a habit out of it haha. And leadership! Are both journalism and leadership connected? Hm, well I've been pretty into digital music recently. It's pretty fun, though the beginning was just a bit hard; everything is easier now though, so I've been enjoying that.
    You seem so productive! It's quite impressive :) hehe, thank you for letting me get to know you! Hope the following week with be in your favor! <3


    2 months ago
  • hi i'm jackson ;)

    this piece is beautiful, the imagery just......yes
    re: yeah, im thinking about deleting that piece because I cant even remember what I actually meant and it pains me that people might see me as racist
    im amazed that you got close to finishing it! Nice!
    oogh, school blues are indeed exhausting. at least you're getting sleep haha
    than you, and that is very odd :) i send the good vibes back to you
    yeah, magic sentences would be nice, but thank you :) you have no idea how much you've helped, just by talking to me
    you would be an amazing author, my friend, but youd also be a great pediatrician i assume! thats very interesting, why did you choose that?
    my dream job would probably be being a musician. i cant play the guitar or the piano or anything like that, and i dont have enough money for a good recording app/equipment, but i can sing and i have dreams lol
    this is kind of a weird thing to say, but i want to be like harry styles. he doesnt seem to let what other people say get to him, and he seems very happy, and has a great voice and some great songs (Canyon Moon, Falling, the majority of his first album)
    he just seems quite cool


    2 months ago
  • Avril

    And wow this piece is soo sweet. Your word choice makes this piece so elegant.


    2 months ago
  • Avril

    Re: Aw thank you so much!


    2 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    replying: ah you deserve it,i'm so happy i made you happy<3
    aww thank you so much angel, you're so so sweet<3


    2 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    Gosh, at this point, I am at a loss for words. Everything here depicts majesty, true divinity. There was not a single word here that cuts short of that. You have spilled so much into this, it is most certainly impossible to read this without feeling the love from your side. and Dmoral. She is truly beyond words. You have really captured the feeling of admiration, so so well.

    re: Ah! Your kindness! Sometimes, I wonder how you became so generous because you are one of the best writers I know, as well as one of the most courteous. So, thank you, Shizu! Thank you so much for everything!
    I'm actually doing well recently, I think? The reason why that's a question is because I think everything has been pretty manageable and all, but I think I should take care of my health more. It's not too bad, but I did get some headaches and stuff like that so :\ Hope you have been better?
    Sprints! I tend to do better over long distance, not that I enjoy them more haha. But, it's cool that you got to do track for a little while! Are you doing any other school activities, or planning to?
    Oh yes! So relatable! I do procrastinate quite a bit, but it's gotten better over time :) I tend to math at night because I just function better with the moon shining instead of the sun :D I don't know if that's just me doing that though, do you save some subjects to do at certain times of the day?
    Goodness, I just read back at this comment, and I have asked so many questions haha. Feel free to skip over any of them :) Sending love!


    2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: ahifhdls so glad you liked that piece, def one of my better ones. thank you :))
    yeah, wtw does mean a lot!! it's so much more than even writing; it's the people, the connections. i miss you all so much--and yet, like you said, it really does help me to appreciate it all the more :)
    thanks for the encouragement, it means a lot to me. it is so hard, with all kinds of art, not to compare to others. and some level of comparison can be good but... yeah idk. i don't know if i'll ever be able to lay my soul out without worrying that it's not good enough--whatever "good enough" is. may time and love be kind to us both :)
    yeah, i'm glad i wasn't involved too, haha. i tend to stick my nose into conflict and then not be able to help anything because i'm such a peacemaker that i don't want anyone to be angry...? i'm not the best defender or seeker of justice because i just want to people-please. yk? anyways, you're right--the number of writers here who are kind and caring and humble far outnumber anyone who isn't! :)
    thank you for making my mundane days joyful as well!! :D hmm, if you were a color of glitter, you'd be... silver mixed with a tiiiiiny bit of purple--just enough to give it a light hint. and just dustings of metallic blue. somewhere in there is your color. thank you for showering your sparkles all over my day!! :D
    all my love, my dearest constant! hope your week goes well <33


    2 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    oh my gosh.oh my gosh.this is absolutey beautiful- i cannot begin to express how gorgeous this is- how talented you are. you speak of how you're in awe and i'm in awe of you.you craft your words so effortlessly and explain emotions so clearly.
    wow i agree,dmoral deserves this piece. the footnotes are beautiful, i'm sure a lot of us can relate.i'm so happy you're happy.i pick pieces from dmorals work as inspiration but i'm reading more and more of yours and i want to aggresively pull at your words and make them mine.wow but this pieces makes mine look like trash lol.
    beautiful work darling, ah you're an inspiration,i want to stick your work onto my walls. i want to learn from your creations


    2 months ago
  • Dmoral

    i'll be honest, i've waited to comment on this piece for a bit because it's been chaotic here and because, well, i have absolutely no words to properly express how this makes me feel. but i'm going to try now, and hopefully it comes out right.

    i found myself in love with name-titled songs and i don't know why, but it just, it makes me happy. i feel like it creates more sentiment and a deeper connection like there are more detail and theme to grasps. so my name titled poetry was my own attempt at that (plus the rhythms and flow just seemed to hit right). and it's inspired so many others and i absolutely love that. and now, here you are, writing me a name titled piece and i'm crying. to quote myself, "i don't have a key chain name" so there will never be a poem, or object, or anything with my name on it unless i specifically ask and then i have to spell it out very carefully so they don't get it wrong. and for a while it bothered me, now it's just whatever. but this? this is like the closest thing i'll get to something names after me and it hits all the different i absolutely love it and now you know why i'm crying. you wisp, you just fulfilled something for me and i'll never have words to properly thank you or describe how it made me feel. you're already giving me gold in ways you'll never know.

    and IT'S IN SPANISH! learning Spanish at a young age made me fall in love with language and you capture the beauty of the word so beautiful goodness, i love it.

    and yes, the one thing i strive for most in my writing is relatability. because i've gone through so much crap and i know everyone has their own crap and if there's one thing i want, is people to never have to carry their baggage alone. there's so much out there for all of us, and we all go through somewhat of the same things to certain degrees. so through writing my own experiences, i want people to have a sense of relatability, to be able to know they're not alone. so reading about how much you connect with my writing? it, it fulfills my goal as a writer and makes the little girl in me feel like she's finally done it, she's left the mark she's always wanted to.

    every like i got was always enough for me, but the comments? comments have a special place in my heart entirely because that means you took more than the time to like a piece, it means you read it- you felt it- you felt the urge to respond to it. and that, that's amazing. out of my 3ish years of being on WTW, i've learned a lot. but one of the most important things: 50 likes on a piece is nothing compared to 1 beauitfully, long, indepth comment. i'll forever be grateful, those were more gifts of gold.

    [end of comment pt 1, because i gotta go finish crying and do hw & chores lol. i'll be back with more]


    2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    you've absolutely outdone yourself--and it's absolutely, stunningly perfect. wow. if anything screamed "dmoral", it's this!! brilliant, wisp. and your footnotes were so true--whenever i see that she liked one of my pieces i get a little thrill, because if SHE liked it it must actually be pretty good! this is so, so perfect for her. my goodness, you're an amazing poet!


    2 months ago
  • psithurism

    I don't even know what to say, this is magnificent.


    2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Oh my gosh... this is glorious. I'm in awe of this piece (and the footnotes). And somehow I knew it was for Dmoral before I read that it was...


    2 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    i am just.... wow. this is stunning. so incredibly kind and meaningful. wow. i could read your writing forever.


    2 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    oh, my. speechless.


    2 months ago