Peer Review by Ananyaa (India)

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thrilling love

By: happy butterfly


FREE WRITING


diamond ring 'round my neck,
i feel my own death
coming coming coming
i have trapped myself in your story ( what a thrilling story )
steady steps are a foreign movement and 
slow dance makes me nervous
i won't make an effort to stop thinking about you
and if we're not written in the stars, who cares?
i never see the constellations anyway.
losing myself in everything that will be taken away from me
forget all my desires, one glimpse of you satisfies every want.
i'm clueless in a spiral of love, there are no corners to hide and feel safe.
my ribcage cracked open and i breathe in limitless hope
i feel no need to be careful right now


Peer Review

Everything. lol. Bit seriously the piece was breath taking. The imagery usage was really good.


I think the title should be more appropriate. By appropriate i mean more 'into the piece' if you get what I mean?


Reviewer Comments

This piece is really good. You've done an excellent job with imagery, your choice of words, everything.