Paisley Blue

United States

they/them | 6.2.2020
genderfluid | christian

pluviophile (n.) a lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days

Message to Readers

As a thank you for 250 (!!!), i am going to do a bit of an appreciation piece/about-me piece. so, if you have any questions about me or my writing, please share them! i will try to answer them :) and THANK YOU ALL for 250! i promise i'll have a more eloquent thank-you in my next piece :D

amen || where i want to be

January 2, 2021

look at me, look at me, look at who
i wanted to be - i'm so far away from her now.
standing in the dream-girl's place is a glass about
to break. but i mend myself, i
mend myself 
and maybe that means it'll be okay.
i lift my head to the moon and cry out
against the changing of the tides, yet
i can't seem to wait to shed my skin and
move on.
i want to free myself, i want to let go of fear
and feel your arms around me. i want to trust in
the power of the unknown.

the birds outside my window know; they know, i know
that silence is too fragile to be coveted for long
but my voice isn't the same as it once was - it's changed,
i've changed.
the sky begs to hear me again.
i'm learning, okay? and maybe that makes it okay.
my fingers dance over ivory keys and pluck the strings
and music comes. isn't it a wonder? isn't it a wonder?
even someone as broken as i am can make music.
i want to let my voice travel, i want to call it back to me
i want to feel it sour and touch the sun, just to say
i did. i want to sing in the mountains and in the valleys.
i want to sing.

nightfall touches the edge of the sky, leaving
fingerprints on the horizon. it smiles, i smile, and
there's something inside that makes me believe i could die happy.
under my feet i feel the earth and inside my heart
i feel the earth
or maybe it's not the earth but rather the heavens
(i've had my head in the clouds for far too long)
but it's okay because i'm okay - we'll be okay.
and my soul swells when i see the beauty
around me - see? there's hope left yet.
and you. you take my breath away. and i realize how i love you - 
i want to love you. i want to love me. i want to

sooooo... i'm sorry for completely destroying this prompt! i know it was supposed to be a writing resolution but really, all of these things affect my writing, so. maybe it counts? no idea. just in case, my writing resolution is to sit down, every day, and write at least 100 words (or a poem - if it's shorter than that, that's fine). hopefully that will help me grow and "stay in shape" for when i have something i absolutely NEED to write.

the title is inspired by the sleeping at last song I currently have stuck in my head, "Life" (I BLAME YOU, MIRKAT) ;) you should listen to it! it has nothing to do with this piece whatsoever but you know what. i don't care. :)

anyways, i'm not completely back from my hiatus - i'm kinda easing my way back slowly - but boy have i missed all of you. it was good for me to take a break, though.

hope you enjoy this - whatever it is :D happy new year, everyone! hopefully 2021 will hold joy for all <3


See History
  • January 2, 2021 - 9:09pm (Now Viewing)

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  • crystalline•galaxies

    re: aw, your comment was so sweet... love you too!

    11 months ago
  • mirkat

    okay okay okay this made me cry i swear ella...... i wow the life in this and iiiiii i have no words this is i am crying now I'm listening to Marjorie by Taylor swift and no i'm not a swiftie but the combination of that song and this this this i have no words and the footnotes and life and me i'm mirkat okay i have no words but and this will sound weird but i love you and not in a creepy way okay? like i'm sorry maybe it sounds weird and creepy cause i'm just me mirkat a person on the internet but paisley blue gosh your soul is beautiful and congrats of u for 250 because you deserve it allllll i swear okay stop mir i'm okay jeeeezzz okay i stopped crying but thank you i don't know how to thank you for everything..... alright sorry for lack of punctuation that happens sometimes...
    <3<3<3<3,,3a,3 (x10000000000000)

    11 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    gorgeous piece. it's delicate and feels almost like a song.
    re: how can i thank you enough for your comment? it came at the perfect time -- i was having a really rough evening last night, and when i saw it this morning, it made the world seem better. you, in turn, inspire me so much and i cannot believe how much i've come to appreciate your feedback, writing, and interaction in general. when i was talking to some other people from wtw about who i appreciate here, you were on the top of the list. let's hope for many, many more months of writing together!

    11 months ago
  • doodleninja

    the flow of this piece and cadence is absolutely gorgeous! I love the emotion, the yearning in this. wonderful writing as always! :)

    11 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    wow this is amazing!! I think this is the perfect prompt for this piece because it shows truth and is personal (also cause resolutions are really hard to keep. at least for me they are haha)
    nightfall touches the edge of the sky, leaving
    fingerprints on the horizon. it smiles, i smile, and
    there's something inside that makes me believe i could die happy.
    ^^wow. i have no words to describe how gorgeous that is. really really well written.

    also, chapter 7 for On the High Seas is out!!

    11 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    replying: aww thank you so much

    11 months ago
  • lochnessie ❀

    re: you know when you wince so much that you feel like you're making a high-pitched scream that only dogs can hear? that's what compliments do to me

    11 months ago
  • lochnessie ❀

    re: oh hello
    um now i feel kind of shy and idek if you saw it or not so i'm just going to go HOW COOLLL IS THIS POEM I loVE the take on the prompt

    11 months ago
  • Deleted User

    re: thank you, that means a lot :)
    Hmm, both fiction and real? It's partly from personal experience, some of the emotions especially, but mostly fiction I'd say.

    11 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    replying: hehe i'm glad:)

    11 months ago
  • Wisp

    "i lift my head to the moon and cry out
    against the changing of the tides, yet
    i can't seem to wait to shed my skin and
    move on."
    "nightfall touches the edge of the sky, leaving
    fingerprints on the horizon. it smiles, i smile, and
    there's something inside that makes me believe i could die happy."
    This poem is absolutely darling! I love how you changed the prompt, because it fits so well and it's so raw in all the right ways. And your writing resolution is certainly a grand one! I think it's brilliant that you're going to try to write 100 words a day, because it may seem little, but oh my gosh is it so hard to do. Welcome back and congratulations on 250! You certainly deserve it!
    Replying: No worries! Take your time! It's all of January after all ;) and I hope you're doing well as well!

    11 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    apparently i coMgratulate people

    11 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    "even someone as broken as i am can make music." jsydndkdubd beautiful,i can't fathom how someone thought of this.let me lick these words.
    "nightfall touches the edge of the sky, leaving
    fingerprints on the horizon" oohh such beautiful imagery.
    goodluck with your resolution,i'm sure you can do it! and if you're not able to everyday,don't be too hard on yourself.stress does a lot of harm.
    comgratulations on 250! you deserve it.( i'll congratulate you better on your next piece lol) <3

    11 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Beautiful piece, good luck with your resolutions, happy new year, and congrats!

    11 months ago
  • alexacpierce

    really wonderful piece. i especially love the part where you say: "i'm learning, okay? and maybe that makes it okay." definitely have felt that!

    11 months ago
  • ~madeline~ is this so beautiful. I like actually can't process the talent here. The repeat of the phrases at the beginning and the end does something magical I can't really describe. I lovveee it. I want to quote a line but they're all too good.

    11 months ago